Hi Ingrid. My relationship also lasted 9 years.we parted then got back together on many occasions. We both come dependent on each other. When we were apart jealousy took over,there would be emails, texts and phone calls accusing each other of cheating. i obsessed over him always wanting contact, needing that interaction no matter how small. We’d brought 2 dogs when we first meet, (he’d kept them) so that become another reason to bind us together. now I think we both found it difficult to let go. Eventually he meet someone new, and fell in love. There was no more contact between us.My jealousy was immense,I even wrote him a couple of letters, which wasn’t very nice. He’d ignore me if we meet in the street. that hurt more than anything. His sister is still one of my closest friends. So though her I;d hear occasionally about his life. I pretended to her I wished him to be happy. I eventually hared he’d got engaged, he’d never asked me to marry him. I realized I couldn’t hang onto what if anymore.It was over. One year later he got cancer and died aged 35. I still feel guilty 2 years on. In hindsight I wished I’d set him free. Our dogs are now looked after by his dad, I remain in contact with all his family, They never got to build a relationship with his girlfriend. I attend the anniversaries, Birthday, day he died ect. I visit his grave and apologize for my behaviour towards the end.
I should’ve got in contact when I heard how ill he’d become.his sister said he’s in ICU nothing could be done.
Time passes the guilt doesn’t.
Live your life Ingrid. no one knows when it’ll all be to late xxx