Thank you again Matt. I will have to get the book.
I’m really having a hard time with this. I’m disappointed with myself. I should be moving forward by now and I feel stuck in my sadness. A day has not passed that I don’t cry. I’m struggling getting him off my mind and out of my dreams. The rational side of me knows it will get better. I knows there is a light at the end of this. I just don’t know how to shake this. I’m supposed to be strong. I’ve been so weak through all this. I feel like such a fool. I feel I was disposable and I and my feelings were irrelevant.
I don’t want to be a victim. I don’t like being negative. I’ve never been a depressed person. Trying to think positive. Part of me says to not dismiss the pain. That I need to feel the full impact of it so I can remember it and never do this to myself again. Part of the problem might be I have to keep it all inside. I don’t really have anybody to talk to. I appreciate this sight for giving me a voice and an avenue to vent, whine and feel.
I have been practicing the breathing. I’m staying busy and continue doing the things I love like cycling and dancing. I want to choose to be happy.