Lara, my heart aches for you. I wish I could give you some magical piece of advice that will make the pain go away but the truth is there isn’t, not when it comes to loving and losing. I’ve been there.

Years ago, I fell in love with my best friend after a year of us being inseparable. When I finally worked up the courage to tell him, he told me kindly but plainly that he was flattered but did not feel the same way. I was shattered, I had been convinced our friendship full of trust and laughter and shared values would translate to something more. What was worse, he was one of my housemates, so I had to see him every day, it was horrible to be in that “look but don’t touch” position. What got me through those tough times was a quote:

Giving someone all your love is never an assurance that they will love you back. Don’t expect love in return; just wait for it to grow in their heart; but if it does not, be content it grew in yours.

Every cloud has its silver lining. Even our failures and stumbles and catastrophes bring us closer to understanding ourselves and what we want from life. I now look back on that love with fondness even though it wasn’t meant to be. Loving him brought me closer to who I really am and I wouldn’t trade the hours of heartache and crying for knowing what I know now.