Ananya,
My wife and I had a very similar problem when our relationship began. I misrepresented some relations I had with women, downplaying the connection. The intimacy with those women was platonic, but inspired jealousy in my partner. The way we resolved it was this:
I promised to be honest and open with her, and she promised to settle the jealousy. With this sacred promise to each other, our relationship had a road to bring up that sticky topic. “My love, I’m fearful to talk about my conversation with ananya, are you open to hearing my view?” This let’s her relax and open so she can see what I see instead of her fears. “My love, I’m jealous. You keep talking to other women and I am scared you are shopping. Are you available to remind me of your love for me?” This lets me see the disturbance in the heart and respond with caring.
It works for us. I connect with women (and she is here with me) because we have spent the time cultivating acceptance for what comes up between us.
With warmth,
Matt
Though I run this site, it is not mine. It's ours. It's not about me. It's about us. Your stories and your wisdom are just as meaningful as mine. 