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Im 27 and I don’t know what to do. I’ve always wanted to travel, maybe teach English abroad or just have a life full of possibilities. At the moment I work in a job I hate and over the last month I can’t seem to cope anymore. I’m crippled with anxiety and very low moods. I’ve lost my appetite and I feel like I cant think straight. I just want to escape to my mam who lives in taiwan and teach English for a while to sort my head out. The problem is that I have a boyfriend who I’ve lived with for 2 years. We have a fantastic relationship and I really do love him very much. He is happy at home however. He’s ten years older than me with a mortgage and he’s settled. We’ve always talked about marriage and kids but the closer it’s getting the more scared I am of it. At the moment I can’t think of anything worse than getting married and having kids. I feel like if I commit to him I’m committing to his life. Full of routine, no travel or moving away or just possibilities…I feel like in ten years time I’ll be doing exactly what I’m doing now and it terrifies me. I know I can change my job or at least work towards it but at the moment I feel so desperate I just want to go. But I desperately don’t want to lose him. I just don’t think I can have the life I want with him. But I don’t think I can be happy without him.
We have talked a lot about this and he’s very understanding. He knows if he doesn’t let me do the things I want ill start resenting him and we’ll break up anyway. I just don’t think there’s an answer here that can make anyone happy. My intuition tells me not to leave him but it also tells me ill never be happy in this life.
Has anyone had to make similar decisions. Or any advice – I just can’t think straight. I have no enthusiasm for anything anymore. I just want to think positively and be happy but I don’t know how to make this decision.
Topic: Haunted by past mistake
Im new to this site, but I liked reading the advice so I figured I would address my issue and see if anyone has any advice. Im seeing a therapist and shes been a tremendous help, but it always helps to get advice from others. Well.. a little over a year ago I met a friend via twitter who just so happened to be an adult actress (no its not a joke) and I bought her some things off her Amazon wishlist and we exchanged numbers and became I guess what you could call “friends” She sent me pics/videos in exchange for gifts etc. She even came down for a concert and got me on stage with Janes Addiction and we hung out after which was altogether a surreal/awesome experience. She is always super busy and at times if I didn’t hear from her for days I would think that I was doing something wrong and bothering her..and my numerous texts would end up making her mad when she wasn’t even mad at me in the first place, just busy. I spent a lot of money on this person and now im in somewhat of a debt crisis (its manageable, just will take a lot of time) She meant to do a whole lot more things for me, but with managing bands and her hectic schedule it didn’t always happen quickly. Also, when I was being annoying and needy I felt bad for doing that so I would send her gifts to make up for it also. She even blocked my number for a few weeks once.. then an entire month later, but we always kept talking. During the last break of our friendship I had a panic attack and finally broke down to my mother and then I decided to seek some help for my anxiety and depression which this recent event played a big part of. I ended up buying her some more stuff before she left on tour again then the next evening I felt so bad I sent a goodbye email and I haven’t heard from her since.
I know I did the right thing and that friendships shouldn’t be based on what you give someone and what they give you in return. The hardest part for me is just letting go of my past. Its done, I cant change it. I know contacting her again would lead me right back to where I was in worse debt so I just want to know how to move on and feel better about myself when I am in so much pain. I cant undo the past or re-do it. I am beating myself up over this daily and honestly part of me still misses her as a friend, even though I know it was a very unusual and unrealistic friendship. I am 32 and just worried that this will stay with me the rest of my life and tear me apart. Sorry if this is too long, its my first post on here.Thank You,
Travis
My name is Thais and I’m from Brazil. When I first met tinny Buddha, I found heaven . Everything I need to be told is here. That’s why I’m writing to ask for some advices and help even knowing that my English isn’t perfect, so apologizes for my grammar errors lol.
I’m 20 years old and at the moment I’m in college and also work 9 to 5. I’ve been feeling depressed ever since I know myself. Never free, never happy, never being only myself. I feel inadequate at everything and with everyone.My teenage years were horrible. No fun at all. Only insecurities and bullying suffering at school. Since my thirteen years old I live in a mental prison that I just can’t take it anymore. I have anxiety problems, had depression for years and panic attacks since 15. I do therapy about two years but it seems like doesn’t work anymore. I also took anxiety medicines for some time, but gave me a awful side effect: insomnia. And then, I took 4 pills at one time in a desperate moment, so my psychologist thought it was better I stopped with the medicine.
All I feel is that I don’t exist. I’m afraid of everything. Afraid of going out, of seeing people, of people see me, ashamed of myself, of the way I walk , the way I talk, I dress, even the way I breathe! I’m desperate! I hate myself so, so much. I just can’t see any good in me. And in the deep of my heart I know I have good things but I never could externalize or be thankful for it. I hide myself from everything and everyone.
I’m so confused. People in my job likes me; people say I’m so beautiful and these stuffs, but doesn’t help at all. I don’t really feel anything for me. It is like I “erase me” from myself. I don’t know what I want. I don’t do anything for me. I am just a doll. Someone who hides herself behind heavy makeup, fake smile and stilettos, but is about to explode anytime.
This oppression is getting so big that I’m feeling all kinds of pain in my body. Headache, backache, my hands shakes all the time. Sometimes I lost control of my thoughts when I’m talking to someone and suddenly don’t know what to say or mix up the things. As a consequence, I can’t work or study anymore with any quality or efficiency.Because of panic attacks and a high level anxiety I don’t have social life. my friends are all superficial and fake. I am the friend who’s there when they don’t have anyone or need a “ear” to hear all their problems. I’ve never been in a relationship before. I feel so awful because I’m still virgin (lol) at this age and I feel like I will never be able to love and be loved by anyone!! I feel so empty.
I’ve tried to open up more to people but I always get disappointed in the end. I think I expect to much on people. Too much trust, too much friendship.
I’m sorry for so much negativism, but that’s exactly the way I feel. I can’t stand myself anymore.
I’m afraid I’m losing control of my life. Actually, guess I’ve really never been in control of my life.
At this very moment I’m writing from work. Just to imagine how disturbed I am.Now I can realize I’m full of hate, hurt and pain of rejection. I just don’t know what to do. I can’t change the way I think. I try everyday but I just don’t have energy or strenght anymore.
Please give me some light, some word of love, some method you already used to change if you went through this kind of situation. Thank you so much!
So I recently decided to change my major to Communications from Psychology (I am a sophomore at a Community college). I thought it was the right thing to do given the wide job market, increased chance for promotion/better pay, less schooling, less debt, more time for myself (travel, family, friends). However, I have a deep fear and extreme anxiety that I made the wrong choice and that I’m taking the “easy” way out, and kind of cutting myself short of my goals (Always thought it would be cool to be a sports psychologist, write a book, speak at a TED conference..but then again it would be awesome to work for the business or communications part of Nike or ESPN). I’m scared I won’t fit in, be social enough, or just not be good at my job. I am so worried that I will get stuck with a job I don’t like, and be in a career where I don’t feel like myself. But on the other hand, I haven’t even really tried out a job in Communications (I hope to get an internship for experience this fall). Maybe I’m judging too fast? I feel like I have no idea what I want to REALLY do with my life..
How do you figure out what you want and who you are in terms of career??
Hello Everyone,
I’ve been struggling with panic/anxiety disorder for the past 18 months, it’s come to the point that I can’t find the strength or courage to do the simplest tasks in life.. things I use to enjoy, like going to the mall by myself, staying home alone, driving, trying new places, etc. I’m not sure what the switch was.. either than.. just one very bad panic attack. I have had many negative instances in my life that I overcame… I have enough evidence to support that I am strong and capable of coping.. but yet lately..I find it difficult to find things to do, to enjoy, because I’m petrified of feeling petrified …and then I find myself so depressed that I am the only thing in the way of my own happiness and freedom… and now people who care about me are being affected by my disorder. I use to explore and dive in to ideas… and now I find myself hyperventilating at the thought of change or being away from my “safe people.” I’ve developed so many “safety” behaviors and plans to reduce panic/anxiety in stressful situations.. but that’s not the life I want to live… that is not living. I strongly believe that medicine is not for me, I’m not against it, I just know that my mind put me here and it needs to get me out. I’m just wondering, am I alone? I can honestly say, that I have improved over the year, but I get down that I still can’t imagine doing things I use to be able to do. Looking for a survivor… some tips to help me get through this anxious time.