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Viewing 15 results - 9,781 through 9,795 (of 10,768 total)
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  • #64279
    cherrymom
    Participant

    Wow it’s been quite a few months. I stopped posting a while back. Plenty was going on, and I wasn’t expecting a miscarriage, a breakdown, more weight loss and health issues stemming from all of the above. I don’t really have anxiety attacks anymore, I faint. The doctor thinks it is due to the effects of long term stress and weight loss… hence the additional symptoms of constant loud ringing in my ears for months now and dizzy spells.

    I need to find my way back. Several months ago I was on the right track. I was able to start quieting my mind and I was finding a peace I had never known before. Now that is difficult. I should also mention one of my fainting spells caused a pretty serious concussion. I’m finally able to multi task again and it’s getting better. Of all places, it happened in a hospital emergency room visiting someone I know, about two feet from a doctor and five other people. I’ve been irritable and frustrated at strange times… and that’s just not who I am. Due to my weight right now I am very restricted as far as exercise routines. I am thinking about taking up some light yoga again, but do so with the doctor’s warning that I am not to lose any more weight.

    Can anyone point me please to a good books or practices that have helped you? I’m seeking something, anything, that I may learn that will help. What has helped you? I don’t like feeling so out of control.. and that’s where I am right now. I love to learn, however. Attempting to meditate and stay active just isn’t cutting it. I think it’s time to dig deeper. I don’t want to spend my entire life battling depression and chronic stress. I just want to feel more balanced and practice healthy habits.

    Thank you in advance.

    #64217

    Topic: Resiliency

    Little Buddha
    Participant

    Tennis is an emotional game. No other sport quite like tennis makes my heart rise and fall at the plight of the two warriors on the court. Just today, watching Eugenie Bouchard battle Ekaterina Marakova, I couldn’t help but notice a strange feeling of defeat come over me when Bouchard was trailing Marakova 2 games to 4 having had already lost the first set 7-6. I was really cheering for Bouchard and couldn’t help feel pity for her struggle. I could sense frustration, shame, anxiety, and sadness. But was it mine, hers, or both? I had a hard time watching. I thought to myself, “Oh wow, why doesn’t she doesn’t quit now and make this pain go away?” But she didn’t quit. She continued playing. It wasn’t the best match of her career, but she regained some ground and eventually evened out the score to 4 games a piece in the second set. In the end, Bouchard lost in the end (7-6, 6-4).

    Bouchard’s loss doesn’t bother me. What bothers me, is my own lack of resiliency watching her play. Putting myself in her shoes, I wonder if I would have fared so well. When the tough got going, would I have played on? My past experience shows that I don’t have as much resiliency as I would like when it comes to stresses of life. Too many times have I buckled under pressure only to exit the scene prematurely.

    It’s all in your head, I know. With a game like tennis, it’s mind over matter. Even when I’m playing it myself, I can see myself feeling quite confident when I score a point, but then get very distracted and unfocused the moment I make an error.

    Ideally, I would not want to lose focus or become distraught, but more importantly, I’d like to be able to have enough resiliency to allow me to stick through the hardest times. I’ve heard it say a million times, “It’s not whether you win or lose, it’s how you play the game.” And to be able to regain your footing and composure and loose gracefully, that for me is a true mark of success.

    What do you think? How would you rate your resiliency? How do you build more resiliency in life?

    #64133

    In reply to: I am unlovable

    Jon Jones
    Participant

    Hi Maureen,

    There´s an excellent book I´ve been reading http://www.amazon.com/Mastering-Healthy-Image-Darrell-Knoch/dp/0615540597
    It has helped me a lot to feel better about myself and be more confident.

    Building healthy self-esteem and self confidence is something we must work on continually. Especially for sufferers of anxiety and depression!

    Once you start loving yourself, others will love you more easily!

    Have faith you will be ok!

    Jon

    #64083
    Lauren
    Participant

    Two years ago I wouldn’t be thinking this at all, and I need help. I’m only fifteen, and yes I realize that’s apparently considered way too young to be mentally unstable and depressed, but that’s not true. Anyway, I need to get through this. And I need help. I’ve been close with people, EXTREMELY close, and the next day they just throw me away. This has happened repeatedly, and I’m not okay anymore. I’m just not, I’ve got anxiety, I used to love to cook now I can’t even think about going into the kitchen to do anything. But I have to because I can’t stress my parents out. I had a best friend of two years recently leave, he found a girlfriend (this matters because he and I DID love each other) and now he won’t really talk to me because she doesn’t want him to. It crushed me, how much I thought he cared and how much I thought I mattered to him. Though I realize this means he probably wasn’t worth it, I can’t get myself to think that. The next one happened just before that, he and I were close as close could be, we slept on calls each night (due to the fact that he’s in another state, we met over the internet,) we were constantly talking, each time he got off work he would call me and we would stay on calls for hours just talking about nonsense, he’d be the first person to tell me good morning and good night, I always loved hearing his voice. And now he’s gone. He found another girl, and I can’t stand going through this so much, it’s the fourth time it’s happened. I get close to someone and BAM, they have another girlfriend all of the sudden. Why? Am I not good enough? I just don’t understand, and it’s completely broken me. The friends that have stuck by me (which are not very few,) have noticed that I’ve changed. They tell me I have a negative attitude, that they feel like I don’t even care about life anymore, and the sad thing is, that’s how I feel as well. What can I do, how can I get myself out of this and get motivated, to make myself happier? I’m getting there with the first one, the guy that was my best friend, because I was falling out of love with him anyway and I realize I don’t love him anymore, so I’m alright with him. But the other one, the one I stayed on call with all the time, this is where I really need help. He made me feel so much better, I was me, I was getting up and cleaning the house randomly, I was waking up and not feeling tired, I was able to get so much done and be happy, and now I can’t anymore. And I want nothing more than to go back in the past and change what happened between he and I, because I really need him. I live in the middle of nowhere where I don’t have any physical friends, so I rely on internet to help me. I can’t get a job because there’s nowhere around, I can’t go on walks without dragging my sister with me because my mother doesn’t want me alone (and getting my sister out of her bedroom is some seriously hard work,) not to mention I can’t find the motivation or want to do anything. I only wish I could tell my mother I want a therapist to talk to, but that would stress her out. Please help..thank you to anyone that reads this.

    #64014
    Silky
    Participant

    @staranna – what you say is so true and thank you for being so kind. I know I was and still am addicted to my ex. It’s slowly sinking in the what I miss is not necessarily all about her, but my desire to get that love an attention again. And those high moments with her when things were at their best. I fear that I may never love that deeply again. I have fear of moving on.

    I used to be fairly confident and excited about what my future may bring. But now, a year after the BU and a month after turning 40, I’ve lost a lot of hope and confidence. I wasted a year trying to get over my ex and being very depressed and I can’t get that year back. I finally see that light at the end of the tunnel but I haven’t been meeting anyone new. Mostly that’s my fault for not getting myself into those situations.

    Forgive me if this sounds like I am feeling sorry for myself, I am just expressing what’s on my mind now. I feel very, very lonely. I miss the companionship of being with someone I love. I miss the intimacy, the activities, doing things for each other, taking small trips, just all of it. Being connected emotionally and physically. And because I do not see any potential for someone to come along, not even if it’s just for sex, makes me very sad (and this is where I may be feeling sorry for myself).

    Sometimes I feel that even though my ex and I were toxic for each other, I had reached the pinnacle of dating with her. If I ever get married, I don’t want to settle. But in order for that chance to happen, I need to meet someone.


    @Popi
    – i can’t and don’t want to delete my social media accounts. my ex did me a favor and blocked me from all of them so, on the bright side, i can’t change my mind and unblock her. I use social media a lot to communicate with friends and family. I blocked her number on my iPhone, that’s the best I could do.

    I think I have been in denial about living in the past. It kind of hit me this morning. I thought I was not doing that as much but I realized I am doing more than I think. Yes, I try to stay in the moment and to be thankful for what I have. If/when I think of the future, I try to stay positive. The hard part is staying in the moment. Being constantly grateful, and always looking forward for the future.

    You see, I also suffer from generalized anxiety disorder, depression, low self esteem, and abandonment issues for my entire life. I’m just now trying to address it and “fix” it but it’s incredibly hard. It seems so daunting, which, in turn, adds to all the issues I’ve just listed.

    My biggest fear is to grow old, lonely, never have been married, and never had any kids.

    #63892
    Anonymous
    Inactive

    Dude, frankly speaking, you gotta chill and take things as they come – i mean seriously, what do you want anyway? To be this almighty, well-admired, self-contained and successful person? In your head, you are living in anticipated futures, planning for the future is great but not at the cost of present balance – sure you feel jealous but stop this desire to control everything and be someone else. Everyone is different and you have to accept that the road you walk is your own, your very own and no one has it entirely perfect and easy – we all have our internal battles. To some who dont know these sides of you, you could appear to be this uber confident guy who will get it all but truth be said, do you actually feel that way? Therefore, my advice would be to get out of your self-consciousness and learn to have some fun in life too. If you take it way too seriously, the best in you will be buried under this mountain of depression, anxiety and jealousy. And for chrissake, society and well-respected? I mean you’re 28, there is more to life than trying to gain the approval of others only. You have to live for you, not for them.

    Jo
    Participant

    Thank you so much to those that responded, thanks Inky…yes I have had the silence and peace and of course you are too right, he messaged me asking to see me. To Shawn, thank you for making me look at this in a different way, what is it I Miss…yes of course I miss the physical actual him, but I don’t miss the anxiety and stress that cones with it. I miss the idea of being with a lovely respectful man (after coming out of a 10 yr marriage, that ended 2 years ago). I kinda feel a bit like a failure, I really wanted this relationship to work out and live happily never after, I’m 44 lets not do forget that…it’s hard work going on dates, being disappointed, sitting on the couch alone etc etc. But I have now come to realise that I’d rather do that than go through the mind games, the anxiety the stress. It’s been 7 days and have just started to eat properly…so heartbroken but I’m healing, I’ve made myself be around friends and realise that I’m ok, I’m fun, I have a lot to offer the right person, not just anyone, I have talents, friends say I’m attractive…lol it’s all up to me….I need to build my self esteem and feel good about me, and when I’m ready that right person will enter my life I’m sure.

    #63796
    Silky
    Participant

    Hi Charlotte,

    Thanks for your response and the link. I actually saw that the other day. The 2nd to last step is hard for me. If I imagine myself hugging my ex, or seeing her smile at me in my mind, it makes me very sad because I wish it was happening in real life.

    Now that I am 40, I am very concerned about that fact that I am single. I’m one of the only people in my circle of friends that is. I’ve asked them if they have any single female friends and literally none of them do. 🙁 The dating pool is a lot smaller now that I am older.

    I’ve had a heavy heart for almost a year now and I can’t imagine the damage my body has endured from all the anxiety, depression, and heartache I’ve had. My confidence was shattered too, so I am trying to rebuild it. To top it off, I feel very lonely. I am trying to work on these things but it’s a lot harder than I thought it would be and the process in and of itself can be tiring.

    #63765

    In reply to: Dying inside

    gen
    Participant

    It sounds like separation anxiety.

    It can become very intense and debilitating without help.

    Please seek guidance from qualified person.

    Is there any chance you have abandonment issues from a family member being a substance abuser in your past?

    #63764
    Meagan
    Participant

    Antidepressants should be used as a last resort once you have made positive life improvements.
    Here are some that worked for me and surely work for others:

    -cut down on or cut out completely unhealthy habits or behaviours
    -take care of your body; enough sleep, proper eating habits, exercise!!!
    -take up a healthy hobby whatever that may be
    -take a new course; painting, yoga, meditation, spinning!, learn how to garden..join a community garden, get chickens! lol (if money is an issue you can usually find subsidized or free classes if you reach out)
    -connect with friends and family
    -keep a journal
    -get out of your head and into the moment!
    -and again EXERCISE! is your best friend! Run even if you hated it before or never tried it. I used to hate it and now I love it, its the most amazing outlet..not to mention your body feelings naturally high afterwards.

    If anxiety is your issue instead of turning to medications that will only band-aid the situation, look at your life and really assess what is and is not working for you and what of those things you have the power to change…even little by little.

    A little bit of back-up on my opinions…..I was on zoloft for almost 2 years from the age of 16 after being deeply depressed since 14…family issues, death, unhealthy lifestyle, inability to deal were all contributing to my depression.

    While the zoloft did help me come out of a dark period I can now see that with a more holistic approach and more guidance I could have improved my life without it. I was put on 75 mgs after ending up in the hospital and shortly there after I remember always feeling elated and not caring about consequences of my actions which led to careless behaviour…my dosage was most likely too high.

    A year and a half later when I decided I shouldn’t be taking the medication any longer I did go through a period of feeling odd physically during the initial weening but it was a necessary step and it didn’t last long.

    I’ve now been steadily content and alright with a bit of the regular ups and downs that every person experiences…like I said it takes self awareness and living a happy and healthy life isn’t always easy but it is ALWAYS worth it~!

    Hope this helped.

    #63763
    gen
    Participant

    Dia
    Hold on tight – perimenopause is a process that begins well before menopause and many are shocked to learn of the testing of strength to get through it.

    I am annoyed by jokes made by those who have not experienced these hormonal shifts at the expense of the sufferer. The symptoms are vast, numerous and frightening at times.

    Join a forum such as menopause chit chat for more sisterhood talk that will help you navigate this life changing event.

    You will find many women who also face challenges such as yours – being caregivers and losing a parent or both as mid life is usually when many experience this.

    It is also a time when we re evaluate ourselves and surrounding, thinking about the meaning of life and the human experience. Now that your mum has become part of a larger and magnificent force of light, you find yourself focused on the person you set aside while being a caregiver: YOU. It can be scary to wake up and see you need care as well. Getting the weeds out and sorting through the piled up years can be overwhelming.

    Google Claire Weeks anxiety help and meditate. Many groups can be found on meet up dot com.

    It is time to rediscover and face you now that your attention is not on mum now.

    My sibling passed away a bit over a yr ago and my GAD and panic attacks plus peri etc., put me in a similar mindset.

    Look for you on the other forum.

    #63724
    Mike
    Participant

    I’ve taken zoloft as well as other ssri’s and an snri which I am on now (Effexor.) You have to decide whether or not the relief you gain is worth the side effects, they say that many of the side effects subside. Zoloft worked for me, it was the side effects I didn’t like Effexor has less side effects, but is supposedly more difficult to get off of. You only took zoloft for a week and then stopped so I am not sure you went through the full range of withdrawal symptoms, I would say the worst is what people call brain zaps. They feel just like that a zap and then seem to travel through the nerves of the body, it is difficult to describe though. They seem to coincide with quick eye movements. Research has shown that exercising can help relieve anxiety and depression. Meditation is also a good tool. Taking a medication is a pretty big decision, I think, because once you have been on it for a little while you can’t or shouldn’t just quit, and the withdrawal symptoms along with the brain zaps aren’t fun; Irritability, mood swings, fatigue, headaches, change in appetites, nausea, and I’m sure a lot more depending on the person.

    #63716
    Little Coconut
    Participant

    I live in LA and I’m 23. My doctor recently prescribed me Zoloft to help treat my anxiety. I was on it for one week, and noticed improv in my happiness levels, but not really in my anxiety. I also was completely unable to reach orgasm. After researching that side-effect, I stumbled upon numerous other ones, including the painful withdrawal of eventually coming off of the Zoloft.

    I stopped taking it after one week (25mg a day) and I feel a little down. I’ve decided to try to cut caffeine to help anxiety, but I’m wondering if I did a dumb thing by doing off the Zoloft. I’m trying herbal remedies as well, but they take a while to kick in.

    Has anyone had any experience with Zoloft, or other anti-depressants? What was your experience?

    Thank you.

    #63710
    LaReason
    Participant

    Long story short, I had a very emotionally difficult childhood in which my mother, someone who had loved me deeply and fully, passed away when I was 10 and no one seemed to want to take her place. I felt very alone throughout my childhood/adolescence, and when I got to college I fell in love with an emotionally abusive man who ended up leaving me after 3 and a half years of an up-and-down relationship. From this (and other lesser experiences) I have apparently come to believe that I am not worthy of love and that everyone who I love will eventually leave me and hurt me in some way.

    I am currently with an amazing, understanding and supportive man who has gone above and beyond to make me feel safe and wanted…yet I continue to mistrust him and sometimes my brain concocts the most horribly twisted and unbelievable scenarios of how he’s using me or cheating on me. I’m finding myself time and time again making mountains out of molehills and overreacting to the silliest things. I am so tired of feeling like the world is plotting against me when I intellectually realize that’s just not true. I know all of this is a fabrication of my mind but I don’t know how to stop it. When I meditate or practice mindfulness on a daily basis I feel better and better until something happens and I just explode with mistrust and anger. It’s like trying to better myself and rid myself of these thoughts just makes them worse.

    I can’t live in this mental prison anymore. Right now, therapy is not an option financially (however in the past I have tried therapy many times, and usually it has the same effect as meditation/mindfulness…I feel great, awesome, and then something triggers me and I just erupt).

    I just want to be happy and let myself experience the love that is right in front of me without constant fear and anxiety that it will be ripped away. I just want to be able to love him back in the way he deserves and not subject him to this roller coaster any longer. I want to be free from this but I just don’t know how.

    Please help, TB Community. You guys have been so wonderful in my journey so far and I really look forward to your suggestions.

    #63690

    In reply to: Web Design?

    G-Wizz
    Participant

    Thanks for the good tip Mimi, appreciate it. I started today watching YouTube on how putting together a WordPress site from scratch. Seems to me as well that the design part just needs to be taken care of, and I could handle everything else. I can tell it’s not really boring to me, I suppose I just have that anxiety of trying something new and gotta get a grip on my negative attitude, I know I can do this, time to jump start my engine!

    Thanks 🙂

Viewing 15 results - 9,781 through 9,795 (of 10,768 total)