Thanks everyone for your wonderful insights.

Hi Deborah

I am sorry for your suffering. I will provide a different and detailed perspective here (mostly spiritual), which may or may not resonate with you at this stage. Feel free to come back to it in a few days time when you are in a more positive frame of mind. I sensed a state of desperation from your words, which can often hinder any potential progress when it comes to dealing with fears or negative thought patterns. I am glad that you have embraced mindfulness 🙂

We, human beings, are made up of energy and inter connected to everything and everyone at an universal level. We are immensely powerful and can achieve anything on this planet. According to science as well, our cells are composed of atoms, which provide the electrical and magnetic charge and they are all vibrating at differing frequencies.

When we have fears or phobias, we are vibrating at a predominantly negative frequency. Like energy attracts like. The more power you give to negative energy, stronger it becomes. The more power you give to positive energy and more powerful it becomes. Positivity brings us into a state of bliss and contentment and keeps us close to our higher self. Negative energy brings us into a state of desperation, unhappiness, guilt, fear and anything, which takes our power away. All of us need a balance of these energies to keep us functioning well during our temporary existence on this planet just like the nature. Everything is nicely balanced in the nature and occurring in its own rhythm as long as the humans do not intervene or disturb this balance.

What determines as to what frequency we will vibrate at ? Everything that gives rise to our thoughts determines our vibrating frequency. Our thoughts make us who we are. Thought is also an energy. When we see a sad news, we create thoughts which are predominantly sad and fearful. These thoughts produce a feeling and emotion and we start acting out according to our emotions. For example: we may cry, we may become recluse, we may lose concentration at work etc. Not everyone reacts the same way. Some are not affected by any sad or bad news.

Repeated thoughts or routine thoughts form a neuro pathway in our sub conscious brain and become our belief system. For example – repeated thoughts that tell us that we are not good enough lead to a semi- permanent belief system – I am not good enough or No one loves or cares about me. When these belief systems become part of our daily living, they create constant such feelings and emotions and help us to form our personality. Our personality helps us to act out in a certain way and often on an auto pilot. We start behaving as if no one loves us and often lack happiness, peace and contentment in our interactions with others. We are also constantly bombarded with situations, which keep confirming the same that we are not good enough.

So where do these belief systems or repeated thoughts take birth ? Often during our childhood or when our system goes through an immense shock or a state of disbelief. A state where we have no control over our feelings or emotions. If our parents repeatedly tell us that we are going to be alone or miserable in the future, you will be surprised at how often this will come true. Our belief systems become our self-fulfilling prophecy. This is the reason why some people are so prosperous and successful in life, while the rest continue to struggle with even simple things in life. It all depends on our recurrent thoughts or belief system.

In your case, you have a semi-permanent belief system etched in your sub conscious about sickness. So your body starts to act out on an auto pilot when such a trigger occurs. Unfortunately, the more times you act out on an auto-pilot, the stronger this belief system will become. In my personal experience, there is often an initial trigger, which leads to these uncontrollable fears or phobias. Can you recall the first time you developed these symptoms or if anything happened in the 6-12 months prior to these symptoms (that left your system in a state of shock or disbelief in terms of emotions) ? If you can recall that incident, half your work will be done as you will be able to send some positive energy to that incident and forgive yourself for being in pain for this long. Keep doing it until that incident doesn’t invoke any negativity in your being.

Now coming back to the energy part – every time you develop these symptoms or go into a panic mode when someone around you is sick, you send out a negative energy. I am not too worried about anyone else except for your kids who are receiving this energy on a routine basis. Can you imagine what impact this will have on them ? Unknowingly and unwillingly, they are soaking this energy. This energy will help create negative thoughts in their little minds, which in turn will create limiting belief system for these kids in the near future. You are helping to create their personality for them unconsciously. Can you see the connection ? Many times, we do things without understanding their consequences or effects. This is what our parents may have done for us but hey no one knew better at that time. Now that we are aware of such a connection, we should be more mindful and practice conscious living.

Whats the worst that can happen if you get sick ? You will be sick, you may be bed ridden or may need to go to hospital. In the worst case scenario, you may develop a disability or even die. Those are potential things that may or may not happen. However, your constant juggle with an over active and fearful mind is causing you problems every second in your life and is also impacting on the people around you. Is it worth it ?

What you need to do is to work on your thoughts and become aware of them. Become like a video camera, which records a film but doesn’t do anything else. It just watches the film without asking yeh or neh questions. We are very much like that. Our world around us is like a film that we have been engaged in watching thanks to some super power who has created this universe.The moment we start to interfere or speculate, we get into trouble. Have faith in the super power to look after you and your needs. Life could have been much worse living in another part of the world but the Universal power (YOU) didn’t choose that for your being. Why are you then making such a poor choice for yourself and others ? Only you can let go of your fears or poor choices. No one else can do this for you. There are various tools that may assist you in this process such as EFT, energy healing, acupuncture, reiki, chakra healing, hypnotherapy, CBT etc.

I would like to suggest the following:
– if you are bound by anxiety most of the day then I suggest that you see a local dr and see if you will benefit from an anti anxiety med. Many times when we are constantly in a negative or fearful state of mind, it creates a chemical imbalance in the brain and these meds help to sort that out. They do not cure the problem or get rid of fears or phobias. You still need to work on your thoughts for that.
– Susan Jeffers (who has left the body) has done an excellent recording of positive self-affirmations on a CD that you can purchase. When you listen to this short recording every day for atleast 21 days, you will start to see a positive difference in your mindset. Her voice produces powerful positive vibrations and you will benefit from that. The name of the CD is called – inner talk for a confident day.
– Meditation : helps to charge our batteries. The world around us constantly interacts with our energies and we become depleted very quickly. Just like any phone. If you keep using the phone without charging, you know what happens. The you tube below is quite useful for balancing root chakra – which often holds a lot of fears and phobias. You can trial all the individual chakra meditation through the same you tube channel but start first with root, followed by 2nd to 7th chakras, they move upwards. Emile has done the meditations individually, which is great. You dont need to do anything else except for close your eyes and instruct the divinity (universal power) to bring white light to these chakras. Over few days, you will feel a new positive change in yourself.

– pls forgive yourself every morning for all the pain that you may have caused unknowingly or knowingly. When you do this, you will be more mindful the rest of the day.

Sending you heaps of positive energy and I know you will be fine very soon. Looking forward to hearing your happy news in the near future 🙂

Jasmine

@jasmine-3

Hi Zandile,

I understand exactly how you are feeling. I have had cyclic bouts of anxiety (more specifically agoraphobia) for the past ten years and over the past year it has been the worst I have ever had. I also am paralyzed by fear over completing the most simple things, such as driving, traveling short distances, pretty much everything under and including the sun. Somehow I have managed to press on though. I still make it to work everyday and find ways (even miniscule ways) of experiencing joys. For me that has been helpful. Looking at and appreciating the small everyday pleasures of life. We all have them, no matter how terrible a day has been. I’ve found that documenting these things with pictures or in journals is great because you can go back and review everything that has given you pleasure over the past week or month. At first it might seem very difficult because of how lousy and hopeless you might feel. But, eventually something wonderful happens and a switch is flipped in your brain. You start to look on the bright side more and more, and realize that you haven’t been cursed with a terrible disorder that you can’t overcome.
You can!
Our brains are wonderful and terrible things. When we feel fear towards accomplishing everyday tasks, such as driving, it’s not necessarily those tasks that are causing the pain but some deep seeded negativity that we have been fostering unknowingly for years. I’ve done a lot of research over the past year trying to uncover the deep roots of my anxiety issues and I came upon a great article on psycologytoday.com about the five basic fears that we all live by: extinction (death), mutilation (losing a part of our body), loss of autonomy (being paralyzed, imprisoned, smothered), separation (abandonment), ego-death (shame, humiliation, loss of the integrity of self). And if you think about it, it’s true. All of our fears evolve from those five things. The trick is to figure out which fear is paralyzing you and taking steps to overcome those things; not necessarily by treating the symptoms of anxiety, but to stop fighting the symptoms and let them guide you to a place in yourself where they are coming from.
I would definitely recommend talking to a professional who is trained in cognitive and talk therapy to help you overcoming your surface fears and then helping you slay the dragons beneath. Mindful meditation is a great way to relieve the racing thoughts and enjoy the present moments of life, and pay attention to your inner thoughts. Everytime you catch yourself in a negative thought pattern, turn it around to the positive. List all your positive traits and repeat them daily or several times a day. I found that a lot of my anxiety was caused by judging myself way to harshly and berating myself over the most insignificant things.

It takes time to change these things about ourselves. But in the end it is so worth it and you might find that what you are going through now happened for a very good reason!

Peace be with you <3

Hi, I know how you feel. About 3 years ago, I developed similar symptoms. I was a successful straight A student with plenty of friends and involved in many clubs. I gradually began feel numb. I lost interest in my friends. I no longer felt joy in doing things I once loved. My grades began to slip. All I did was go to school, homework, and sleep. I felt hollow inside, except for the irrational moments of fear and panic. I was terrified of starting anything new and couldn’t complete something I did finally start. I was terrified of telling anyone how I felt; i was under the illusion that it would all pass and telling anyone would be a waste of their time. I shut myself into that dark, empty room and festered alone in my sorrow. It all happened so gradually, that when I finally came to the conclusion that something was not right that it felt as if this change happened overnight. I had not seen the signs until I was about to hit bottom. I reached out, much like you are doing, and was diagnosed with depression and anxiety. I was put on medication and it changed my life. I began to feel again; I became my old self. Unfortunately, I lost a few years of my life to something that can be fixed in about 6 months. I beg you to please seek help from a professional. I do not want you to lose anymore of your life to these terrible feelings; don’t make my mistake. You mentioned that you live in South Africa, so I found a website that lists plenty of psychiatrists. Please use this as a stepping stone onto your journey of healing. It hurts me to my soul to know that anyone else has to suffer through what I went through. Be strong, it will get better.
http://www.sasop.co.za/FindMember.aspx

Hi, I completely understand how you feel I to have the exact same issues, I have a book by Dr weeks essential help for your nerves it’s a God send, everything you need to know is in there 🙂 you will get through it try working up to things slowly, I was scared to drive for a while but I took small steps and now I can drive for small periods of time which is a massive achievement, ask yourself why your anxious in the car,what do you think will happen? Then remember all the times you drove before easily, it will help you to see that you can do it when your ready 🙂 it’s not easy I’m not going to lie but you can do it take someone with you if it helps,
Much love x

Dear Becky,

It seems like you are in the process of learning something important.

You are not your body.

You will never die.

If you want to experience yourself, truly, go into nature. Notice how the dead branches lie peacefully on the ground amongst the growing grass and plants. Notice how there is no resistance against death or decay. All that is alive and dead co-exists, working together.

Another way I can explain it is this… Let’s say you have a seed in one hand and a shovel in the other. You’re standing over a patch of dirt and you’re about to put the seed underground. The spot you’ve chosen is in such a place that it receives the right amount of sunlight and rain for the seed to grow, one day, into a tree. So, where does life begin? Does it begin when you put the seed underground? Or what about when the seed splits and the sprouts come out? (At this point, there is no trace of the original seed left anymore). Or what about when the sprout comes above the ground?

Or did life start when you first got the thought in your head that said “Hey! I should plant a seed today.”

Life cannot be schismed across location or time.

And neither can you.

This body you’ve got, fully equipped with a mind and emotions, it’s just a temporary form. It’s your creation, your art, and your exploration. It is not your true identity.

You are much, much more than that.

With love,

Vironika Tugaleva

Zandile,

Could you perhaps describe and identify when and how you came to develop fear and anxiety please? Doing so may help me in giving you a more fitting response.

Thank you

Hi Zandi please request me on FB its Natalia B Khumalo! Then we will talk from there. Because I have been there, hey I’m still there struggling.

Hey Zandile,

Anxiety sucks, and you certainly sound like you have a lot to deal with right now. I had anxiety attacks a few years ago, and sometimes I still get afraid, though not as bad as I was. When I get to feeling that way, I try to focus on taking care of myself — good food, physical exercise, a regular sleep pattern, time spent doing things I enjoy, and meditation. It’s not a cure-all, but everything gets that much harder when you don’t take care of the basics, you know?

Please don’t feel like you’re doing something wrong because you’re feeling this way. You just have a lot on your plate, and it’s difficult to deal with it all. That happens to a lot of people, just read some of the other posts on this forum. People are in pain, for all kinds of reasons. But people can also build themselves back up, step by step, even when they feel so, so bad.

So take it easy on yourself — you’re having a tough time. Do things that help you, do things that are a little scary when you feel up to them, and understand that these feelings come and go. If you feel really horrible today, tomorrow will probably be a little better. If you feel really good today, maybe tomorrow will be harder. But if you keep building, and believe in yourself, things will get better and you can pursue your dreams.

I wish you only good days. Good luck.

Hi Zandile

As I read your post, one soul came into my mind, who can assist you. Susan Jeffers. If you can get her book, “feel the fear and do it anyway”, you might find it very useful not only for current circumstances but for future as well.

If I were you, I would only focus on myself. Forget about helping others or giving to others for the moment. Until your battery is fully charged with positive emotions, you wont be able to charge others adequately. You will keep hitting roadblocks and making yourself less happy.

Just learn to provide love and care to your inner being. Life will unfold beautifully for you as my inner self tells me that.

Lots of positive energy coming your way. You are worth it:)

Jasmine

My dear Christy,

I was in a similar position as you almost exactly a year ago. Unfortunately, I got stuck on dwelling on that disappointment for a very long time, and I believe I am finally at a much better place now, almost a year later.

I made a lot of mistakes a long the way, I feel like I had depression, anxiety, bipolar, etc. Its a blurry line between dealing with a situation and moving on vs getting fixated on that problem for a much longer time.

I urge you to talk to a trusted friend or family member for support. Not only that, but distance yourself completely, in every single way possible from the source of the problem. If there is something negatively influencing your life, it needs to go ASAP. Focus your energy on you 100%; its time to take care of the most important person on earth, and that is you Christy. You are now in a wonderful place in your life Christy, you can rebuild yourself, figure out what you were passionate about, what your goals and desires are, and focus your attention to that..

I realize my last paragraph may sound like a “pep talk” but it worked wonders for me when I shifted my thinking in this manner a few months ago. Now, I feel much more in control. I work everyday on my goals, I work out everyday, I started taking care of myself….everything is…tighter. I’m not not the same person who I was a year ago, I have evolved.

Christy, you can evolve too. I dont know if I helped answer your question, but the reason I responded is because I can relate to getting stuck dwelling on the past.