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  • April 3, 2014 at 2:34 pm #54125

    Topic: Am I doing the right thing ????

    in forum Relationships
    Scott Reynolds
    Participant

    In order to prevent my peers from trailing off in bordem I shall condense my story.
    My parents had a very traumatic divorce resulting in jail time for father and abandonment from mother.
    Bullied ar school due to anxiety (later diagnosed as Hyperthyroidism)
    Friends treated me as a 2nd best.
    I married for security and moved to remote location having two children leaving everyone behind me.
    Finally diagnosed for hyperthyroidism and given radio therapy.
    Now miss my friends and all I threw away as a result of my mental health.
    I have met someone new who makes me feel really, really happy.
    My wife is upset as she supported me for the last 8 years and know I want out.
    I know I am responsible for her hurt but cannot help my new self.
    I am finally confident in me and want more than a reclusive life. My wife likes this reclusive place.
    Please don’t judge as I know I am horrid but just want to be happy.
    Am I just rebounding? The new girl really makes my heart sing but I am not sure she feels the same.
    Help me please and thanks in advance for anything said. Anything goes here xo please no moderation. P

    April 2, 2014 at 10:36 pm #54057

    Topic: Rollercoaster in a Tornado and Homeless

    in forum Tough Times
    Kevin M. Norris
    Participant

    I am a Tiny Buddha forum newbie, but I need words of support, encouragement and insight anywhere I can find it.

    As of tomorrow morning sans an 11th hour reprieve I will be homeless, my rock bottom. I am a 48 year old gay bi-polar male with a upper middle class upbringing, college education, gifted published writer, entrepreneur and flying trapeze student. One might say this should not have happened to me. But it did and I am the reason for this demise. I made many foolish choices and often made no choice at all. Becoming homeless is a culmination of these decisions and I am now faced with the greatest challenge I have ever had to face or hope to face.

    I am fraught with worry, overwhelmed with anxiety and scared shitless. I am also mentally, emotionally and physically exhausted by the life I have chosen to live over the past 6 – 8 years. This is where the roller coaster in a tornado metaphor comes in. I have a hard on for living on the edge and the edge has been a dangerous self defeating precipice into an abyss from which I will not return if I go any further.

    I know I don’t have to face this alone and that many others have hit rock bottom, learned, grew and became far better off for having gone through it. There you have it. I turn to you Tough Times forum for your insights and wisdom.

    Thank you for listening and sharing your thoughts.

    Kevin M

    April 2, 2014 at 8:40 am #53998

    In reply to: Meaning of Life

    Wendy Kuhn
    Participant

    I don’t think there is just one meaning to life. I believe that life is a journey and we are meant to both teach and learn along the way. The key is to evolve and keep moving positively when things happen that throw you back a few steps. I say this as I am on my own journey of recovery from an anxiety disorder. The final push into the disorder making me incapacitated for several months had to do with trying to figure out my purpose in life and what to do next. At a workshop I attended the leader suggested that it is ok if I don’t know what’s next, or my purpose, maybe I just need to be open to what presents itself. Little did a know that a week later I’d be in the hospital dealing with this disorder – and I still do now every day. The past year has been hard – but it’s been a humbling and enlightening lesson. I’m thankful for the time it’s given me to find myself again.

    March 30, 2014 at 5:31 am #53802

    In reply to: I need to start living, but I don't know what I want

    Sage
    Participant

    I can resonate with you so much. The problem at root is social anxiety. You/we see the world differently whan most people. We have no interest in getting to know new people because the fear eventually led to a hardening which led to a numbness in that area. It’s not healthy because human beings are mean to be social beings even if for just a fraction of the day. I struggle with wanting to have a rich social life while also wanting to be alone to recharge.

    There is an untapped power within that you must release. The thought of waking up in 5 years from now and being in the same predicament would be a rude awakening. Take back your life now and get out of your comfort zone. It seems scary but think of it this way: we are all nothing but meat and flesh coated skeletons with brains. The opinions of individuals comes from there own conditioning. Live in your own truth, meditate and get out as much as you can. Be curious.

    Now excuse me while I go apply some of my own advice to my own life. 🙂
    Keep your head up!

    March 30, 2014 at 1:35 am #53788

    Topic: Resentment, Anger, Jealousy and Pain

    in forum Relationships
    Zita
    Participant

    Hello Fellow Readers,

    This is my first day in the tiny buddha community. I read some of your post and was totally amazed by the wisdom and life experiences everyone has shared. Thank you guys for sharing your beautiful and insightful experiences. Here is a little about me:-I recently came out of a somewhat emotionally abusive relationship. My boyfriend of almost 3 years left me after my consistent attempts to make the relationship work. We in a long distance relationship for almost 2.5 / 3 years. Things got really bad since past year or so. Here is a little synopsis of the past;-

    One year into our relationship my boyfriend moved to a different city , following that, our fights got bigger and worse over minute things. Its like he became another person, that no longer wanted me in his life. One day I found out that there is a potential girl in his life that him and his family likes . I will be honest, I was jealous to the core. I felt really out of the loop not knowing whats going on. Afterall, I was miles apart from him. Over time this somehow took my trust away from him, I knew he was never sure about me ( our backgrounds were very different), he was never sure if he can be fully committed to me although he did say he loved me. Even though initially we would discuss things like .. getting married and making future plans, however he always fell short of making our relationship into something tangible. Every time I was around him I felt unwanted ( as if I am some sort of rebound till the next better person comes along in his life).

    However, for me things were a little different, I was madly and head over heels in love with this guy, I saw a future with him, I don’t know what it was in him that pulled me so deeply and intensely. I saw a best friend that I thought if the times come I could rely on. However as timed passed by , he would bestow upon me, a lot of his own personal life expectations and failures. I was always criticized for being so ” imperfect”. I was still a student and didn’t really have my life together too. But so did he, I don’t think anyone should have a right to make another person feel inadequate, incomplete, full of flaws and just downright unworthy of love and attention. He did stick around me for some time, but that sticking around seemed like a chore to me. It was like he is there because he has some sort of obligation to be there. I felt this strongly over time because he was always so critical of me and my life and past experiences, this would create so much anxiety within me ( I always feared him leaving me for something he didn’t like, at that time I just wasn’t ready to let go of what I thought we could have together ) . He always made me feel more insecure in my own skin with each passing day because of something I lacked or because of some inherent flaw I inherited from my parents, or something I was incapable of … ( I have had a tough life growing up, so yes I did have my issues) But he always blew things out of proportion and related everything in and about me to my internal traits and character not to my tough circumstances. This was very disrespectful in my eyes.. I always tried to communicate with him but he had this tendency to always want to be right and he would go to far lengths to prove his point. I never felt heard in our time together. It was like as if I am trying to get through a person who doesn’t want to see where and how he could be hurting me, sure I believed in his constructive criticism but to outright kill someones self esteem but dehumanizing and ripping everything from their past tough life experiences to present is just pure evil.

    I saw this coming from a long time, I was hurting me in the long run by staying with him, But I just couldn’t walk out. My self esteem and confidence after daily constant criticism about the most mediocre of things, made me feel so worthless. I went in depression and got highly anxious about everything and anything in my life.He never even cared to call me to end things when he broke, never picked up my calls. Just ended things over a text – can you believe 2.5 years of relationship and end it over a text ? How sadly is that. This very act made me feel and realize how little did I matter for him.

    Sorry I know that was a read- but coming back to now- I have so much anger in myself towards myself for loving him so intensely. For refusing to listen to my friends and family and believing in him and our relationship. Now I anticipate my worst fears coming true, I fear that he will end up with that same girl his family likes. I know it shouldn’t matter to me who he ends up with, but unfortunately it does. Its eating me up inside, I need to let go and move on in my life. I see my days slip by day and night and I see myself so sad and betrayed as an observer too, sometimes I want to smack myself out of this trance of pain and anger. But it just pulls me inside. I don’t even know if this is making sense. I think about him and me in the past and I think about him and that girl in the future and it drives me towards insanity, pain and resentment. I don’t know what to do anymore.. any advise would help, I know you all have a lot of wisdom and experience and it helps to know there are others like me too

    • This topic was modified 10 years ago by Zita.
    • This topic was modified 10 years ago by Zita.
    March 29, 2014 at 10:22 am #53752

    In reply to: Thoughts on Mood Meds?

    Joshua
    Participant

    Hey Andrea,

    One of the most effective ways I’ve found is to exercise daily. Not just a little walk, you’ll want at least 1-2 hours of “real” exercise. Running, biking and yoga are all great options. I found that doing this daily kept me less stressed out, helped my anxiety and made me feel more energized and better all day. I recommend doing this outside as well, not inside. You’ll want the fresh air and sun as it helps even more.

    You also want to eat very healthy. I always say a whole foods diet, no junk. This helps in so many ways, more then people think.

    Good luck ; )

    March 28, 2014 at 5:57 pm #53724

    In reply to: Worthlessness

    Aaliyah537
    Participant

    Hi Eric,

    Thank you for this post. You made me realize something I often do that causes me sadness in the long run. You’re doing it right now. Two things actually.

    1. You are comparing your insides to this woman’s outside. On Facebook no less!
    2. You are choosing to compare yourself to those who seem to do better in an area you value, ignoring those who are same as you or worse.

    You say this woman is happy with her PhD and passionate. But you don’t know this from firsthand, informed experience. Everybody posts good stuff on Facebook. You don’t know if her advisor was a bully, if she struggles with anxiety, if she may in 5 years suffer a medical problem that is serious. Unless you spend quality time with this person several times, you can’t say for sure that you will want her real life (not her Facebook life). So why compare?

    On the second point , I think you know people who are worse off than you or in the same boat. If you don’t, you may need to put aside any hangups and start looking for friends who can understand your struggles. They may be younger or older or have different problems. But they may help you feel less alone.

    You’re 36. It’s not too late to find a profession that meets your needs. I recommend reading a book called Working Identity. It talks about the ways people change professions. It’s skewed towards the highly educated set, but there are some useful ideas there.

    Take care!

    March 28, 2014 at 10:55 am #53707

    In reply to: Anxiety over everything ruling my life

    Mike
    Participant

    Hey Becky,
    I too have and still do battle with anxiety, depression, and sometimes just total self destruction. I am also an older guy(53), I’m opening this way not to discourage you but to also let you know your not alone! Here goes: first of all try holding your breath til you pass out or die, Failed didn’t you! now try laughing to death, failed didn’t you! This is something I learned in therapy, people like us tend to embellish our realities as if no one else has these problems or signs. yeah signs! that’s what most of these feelings are signs of what we need to investigate inside our selves with kindness and understanding, that this is a life long journey. As with any journey its easier embarked upon with a plan. First try laughing and holding your breath til you die as I mentioned earlier; once you’ve realized that these are unnecessary worries try some others .Your going to find out that your feeling and living your thoughts. As we both know we are not our thoughts, we are not our feelings. So for now the plan is to investigate and prove to yourself that some of these fears are not realistic. Secondly a therapist can be a great help? I went through maybe a dozen therapists before I found the right one. It’s not “one stop shopping”, if its not a good fit keep looking. We want help so much sometimes we will settle for anyone who is willing to listen I don’t know if this is your case but you need to know your in control! You came here no one forced you! Your in control! There I said it twice “CONTROL” this is what we want and this is usually what’s holding us back from peace of mind. We don’t need control we need to be grounded and once we’re grounded we can investigate our demons rationally. I could go on and on but it wont help you anymore at this point. So I want to finish by saying “I feel your pain” and there’s a solution: it’s all inside of you I recommend looking into getting grounded before going any further. Great sources are Tiny Buddha, Tich Nat Hanh, and Pema Chodrun. Also mentioned in other posts; just breathe, yoga, meditation (not easy but worth trying and trying again and again) and a willingness to fail and get back up again. I hope to see you on here again. Namaste..

    March 27, 2014 at 10:49 am #53653

    In reply to: Anxiety over everything ruling my life

    Becky
    Participant

    Thank you. It is very much a daily battle against my anxiety and sometimes I feel worse than others. I definetley do a lot of fighting with myself and I find it hard to accept sometimes. Sometimes I just feel paralyzed by my anxiety. I have heard about yoga for anxiety before maybe I should look in to it 🙂

    March 27, 2014 at 2:25 am #53625

    In reply to: Ennui and Love

    Gavin
    Participant

    Thanks for your further insights Matt. I think I’ve turned to something in all three facets of material, sense and cushion that you mention! In terms of the aspects of romance, I’d say the overriding negative feeling I get is simply one of a certain envy (which I think many of us struggle with) for the people I see in relationships, and I do all I can to examine and neutralise such feelings with reflections and perceptions of various moral value – that maybe any one particular woman I encounter just wouldn’t be right for me, that it’s just not the right time for me, and even perhaps with a more tragic feeling that many of these couples around me have likely entered into their relationship by chasing happiness and dragging their material wealth around them. On balance I’ll also say that I do rest compassionately at other times and cultivate warm feelings too, with hopes that they might have found something good and lasting, or at least that they’re experiencing exactly what they need right now in the present moment. This does have the downside of making me question why the universe isn’t being so benign with me – I feel as though I’ve spent enough time trapped in repeating patterns and solitude, but if I had to guess it’s that I’m having to go through this rumination before reaching a definitive path of progress (!?). I can certainly remember the wonderful feelings which I think we all crave in such union, and the anxiety I do get is definitely a fear that this is something which will elude me for the rest of my life since I seem to have inadvertently disconnected myself from real heart contact with others by becoming too mindfully composed (the “cushion” I suspect you allude to). I know this is likely just an illusion of anxiety, but it certainly feels like a fatalistic truth at the moment.

    I think I’m a little lost with respect to what you talk about when you mention cultivating spaciousness behind the practice of happiness, unless your intent is simply to convey the act of creating a zone of mindfulness, to absorb and reflect peacefully upon the up’s and down’s as they move through our moment-by-moment living experience? For certain maintaining a joyous state is a tough one, though I have to admit that I think it is not unknown to me.. just a bit fleeting. As I think about this I suspect my anxieties are too strong for me to live in a perpetual state of joy – I don’t think I’m made of quite such strong stuff, but they do seem to be at least manageable, if transiently painful. In a way I think I might fear being in a perpetually joyful state if I’m already struggling with feeling disconnected! This experience of joy I get is certainly present and most obvious and powerful to me when I’m surrounded by nature. A good walk through the local woods into the city or any green space does me no end of good and I generally feel very lifted by this. Perhaps I’m focused too much on trying to feel happiness and not enough on just moving through life – maybe I’ve gone too far into feeling and lost my motivation and enthusiasm because I’ve overloaded myself (again)? I’m not sure I can even quantify all such implications properly, but I do feel worn out. Maybe I just need to take some time out, pace myself and trust that things will settle down soon? One thing we can agree on is that I have a mind in need of some help with all this, but with the exception of anyone here I have no one else who I can dip into these matters with – I get the old “pull yourself together” shallowness.. With that thought Matt, many thanks indeed to everyone who is commenting here as well as to your good self. It’s all appreciated.

    March 26, 2014 at 11:19 pm #53618

    In reply to: Ennui and Love

    Gavin
    Participant

    I think you’re ultimately on the right track Stripes.. This is my course of action for certain, although achieving a good sense of internal happiness as a means to keeping heart and soul afloat has afforded me the distance for reflection, away from my repetitively hurtful self and put me in a place where I can enjoy some tranquil space to tackle these deeper issues. In the end there’s no getting away from my need to change my shy habit, though to be fair on myself a bit more I suppose I’m not as bad as I used to be. Being centred and in the moment does afford some freedom from the shyness by simply making me more aware that the person opposite is just like me – flawed, feeling, human. Plus, having reduced my anxiety by being more concerned about the present moment and less with worries and hang-ups about things that are in my head and not the reality of a situation, it helps still further in overcoming any blocks which I might otherwise conjure up! I have gone through numerous texts in an effort to better understand these things, though the doing bit is coming to me more these days. I have had a couple of setbacks lately but I seem to be pressing on regardless, even if it just means me putting my heart on hiatus for a while.

    March 26, 2014 at 5:05 pm #53607

    Topic: Child-like Curiosity

    in forum Relationships
    cherrymom
    Participant

    Wow. Checking in during a very interesting week. I’m sure many of you remember my posts about my now ex-boyfriend and the breakup that happened just 3 days ago. I must be doing something right, because instead of hurting… I’m calm, cool, collected and very relaxed. I also have this almost child-like curiosity about the whole thing. It’s like my mind is processing the million questions that I have at this point in an effort to seek to understand, so that I may be able to move on with my life in the most positive way possible and avoid mistakes in the future. It’s amazing… Especially since the time we broke up before this we were both completely sleep deprived for weeks and having serious anxiety attacks. I honestly have no idea how he is doing right now or what is going through his mind. I hope that he is okay. But it’s not for me to know, as we have a long way to go before we figure out if we can just be friends as we had both expressed an interest in being.

    My mind is just spinning with questions though. It’s not like these are going to change anything…. though the questions popping into my mind are constant and unrelenting. Why could I never get him to leave the safety and comfort of his home to do things together just as a couple? Why did he avoid meeting me to talk when we broke up until he felt he had no other choice? (I had asked him to meet me then cut off contact). Is he really so detached that he feels like he can never love again? Is he afraid to connect with anyone again after losing what he thought was the perfect relationship (with another girl, one he had a stronger connection with than he knew was possible) a few years ago? How far would this have gone if I had been content to keep it casual? Did I make him happy? Did he truly make me happy? How will this work as friends if we are barely able to communicate? What happens next? How will his child react to all of this? Was this all about sex and not much more? Should I have put my foot down and told him that he needs to date me the last time around, rather than jumping back into a relationship? Why did he make me his girlfriend again if this wasn’t going anywhere? Was that supposed to be for my benefit or his? Why am I even questioning all of this?

    Congratulations to the men reading these posts in the forum… for that right there is the female mind at work.

    I’ve also been working on my own issues lately. I’ve been thinking about the type of people I tend to attract in life. Not the shallow, the soccer mom, the narcissist…

    First group is the rare people that manage to gain a level of trust with me very quickly. I feel safe with these people very quickly… and tend to feel safer to withdraw into my own little world (I am a pisces after all… I could swim in my little fantasy world for months and be totally ok with that). I wish these people drew out more of my personality, but sadly I guess this is something I need to change in myself. These are the people I keep. That I feel bonded to on a level that I can’t communicate. People like him.

    The second group is the people who do draw me out of my shell. I feel totally alive with these people, but I don’t tend to bond to them for long, as it seems to take a sociopath/someone really looking for something to gain something to do this. Every time I meet someone that pulls out the most of me, I end up hurt very badly in the end. Every time. My ex was the longest running second group I ever stayed with. As you can see, the experience scarred me for life. I met someone else like that just after my divorce… He turned into a stalker that threatened my life.

    I wish I could open up more to group one. I really do. Because those are the people I cherish… but my emotions get the best of me, and I’m so afraid of losing them that I end up in a holding pattern with them… walking on eggshells. Paralyzed. Not knowing why or how to fix it.

    I’m slowly figuring out what makes me tick and what I can do to change all of these patterns in myself. How to make it all come together. How to finally be the woman I really am… and get what I want out of life. If I had a dollar for every time someone said I am the perfect woman but they never fell in love with me… Geez. I’m seeking to understand so I may one day be understood and truly loved the way I need to be. Especially now, it’s springtime… I see all of these happy couples & people having babies & getting married… They have something I have never had. That thing. That love. They glow together. I want to glow too!

    I’m meditating, practicing (beginner) yoga as I have time, focusing on work and spending time talking with friends about anything possible *other than* the breakup & the guy. I’m really trying here. It seems to be helping & my thought process is becoming clearer each day. Just call me the comeback kid. Hopefully this stays on the positive end and I don’t have a relapse. Of course… it is easier that we have not interacted since the breakup, except at work. Which is not in person. Thankfully. I’m great at separating work from my personal life.

    Sheesh. Mind blown.

    March 26, 2014 at 12:12 pm #53585

    In reply to: Ennui and Love

    Gavin
    Participant

    Thanks for your thoughts Matt. I’m totally with you on this journey and page as you describe it. I do think that in a way my heart does turn away from beauty, though I agree that the passage of life as seen through Buddhist principles rightly guides an appreciation for the moment; to celebrate whilst there, mourn when gone, accept and be grateful for what was and keep moving.. This is true with relationships also yes, otherwise I think it would be very difficult to get up in the morning! Hehe.. I suppose a certain amount of my heart that’s afraid to embrace loss though it is inevitable.. Or maybe it’s more accurate to say I become so subconsciously focussed on the good evaporating to really appreciate the good times. Maybe I’ve overcompensated with my awareness of mortality, though it is this which causes me anxiety, knowing that it will be painfully sad to miss out on love through misfortune. I think I’m having trouble with all this because I’ve hurt myself a lot too, either with my own imagination, sheer misfortune or even by putting myself through repeating patterns of experience. I have waded into Buddhism by myself really – not many people out there teach these things (a pet angst of mine which I think could save education as we know it, if only some were brave enough to accept it and the consequences therein!) but in doing so I believe I have confronted and understood a lot more also just by being mindful enough to be careful not to rush my understanding of matters without considering the many angles and perceptions you might place upon a philosophical idea. I treat it as the difference between someone who has read about plumbing and someone who has put in the hours of trial and error! I know who will probably understand and appreciate matters more instinctively.

    Where I stand now between myself and relationships is that I’m now looking at what I’m perceiving as lots of people who aren’t past that “stage of enlightenment” and are still looking externally for love. Is this really a stumbling block to connecting with another heart? I don’t mean to seem arrogant by presuming that my own heart is in some way perfectly placed to receive love correctly either – for sure it’s in a dodgy place otherwise I wouldn’t be here talking now. I think I just feel real anxiety too that I might have missed, or will continue to miss opportunities because of my tendency towards shyness too. I was crippled with this when I was a teenager, and if I’m honest it’s never really got much better. In a way the hurtful place I find myself in is at least partly self-fulfilling prophecy, which is also another reason for why I sought answers to my anxiety over missing out on real life. In many ways I can’t stop beating myself up about things, even though I now have a means of generating inner happiness quite successfully.

    • This reply was modified 10 years ago by Gavin.
    March 26, 2014 at 11:39 am #53580

    In reply to: Ennui and Love

    Gavin
    Participant

    Thank you Kelly for your empathy and thoughts.. Anything is helpful and gratefully received and ruminated upon! 🙂 I think you make a good point in your reply about accepting things as they are with consideration to whether there is an issue of “the right time” (I hope I understood you right by that) – in essence a person is really trapped by that aspect of life when you can’t really actively seek one of the people whom you might go through life with. I don’t think the desire for a relationship ever truly leaves you, though I admit to feeling a tad conflicted in that I can be both comfy with myself alone and wanting companionship. In effect I feel ambivalent about both states, having spent lots of time wishing for a partner when single and ultimately finding myself wishing for solitude when with someone, though if believe in retrospect I only felt like that because past relationships have been based upon looking for happiness externally, so I think the negative aspect of the relationship was only because I couldn’t grant myself space to be myself without feeling guilty, hence the anxiety at the time. In a sense, having that sense of contentment now makes any yearning for a partner all the more valid in knowing that it’s for the right reasons and not “clingy”, but in a way it makes the vacuum of a woman’s heart and touch more painful also.

    I don’t know if your questions were rhetorical or not – I think they are but i’ll try to give an answer anyway (hehe) – I think there’s a certain risk that you may become too contented.. Indeed that is a worry I have now because that inevitably sets up almost a “grass is greener” conflict.. How do you really know which you’d be happier in? I’m not sure that the desire for a relationship is a damnable state of mind though, no.. We are after all compassionate and empathic by nature even if we don’t exercise it as much as we perhaps should, so I think the basic desire to connect is within us, whether we wish to rationalise it away or not.

    It’s possible we overthink things, yes! Hehe.. I guess I’m treating my problem from the root when considering that I’ve kinda lost interest in things which might form a social foundation. How do you meet new people when you’re both afflicted with a certain level of shyness, self-inflicted cynicism about your own worth and have a lack of interests? I think that’s the root of my problem and one which can feel will be affecting my approach to possibilities. I also find that people are not as sociable as they used to be. That hurts too, compounded by knowing that in such withdrawal the other person will surely be hurting also. A sad state of affairs.

    March 26, 2014 at 11:37 am #53579

    In reply to: Anxiety over everything ruling my life

    Cortney
    Participant

    First, take a deeeeep breath.

    I was in your situation just 3 months ago, and I’m still getting back on track to a new happier, healthier minded me. Reading posts on this site honestly has helped me tremensouly. Also doing yoga for me helps, so I would suggest yoga or google guided meditation. Above all, cut yourself some slack. We can be so hard on ourselves and it’s easy to forget to simply take care of ourselves. I know it seems hard and hopeless, but it really isn’t. I fully believe that you can lessen anxiety to the point where you forget about it entirely. One thing I encourage you to look into is EFT, or emotional freedom techniques. Gala Darling explains it very well in my opinion. And just know that you aren’t alone. I’m 19 and in a very tough college program, and I totally understand what you are going through. Figure out for you what initially triggers the anxiety, and don’t fight it. Acknowledge it, let it sit for a second and try to listen to it. And then try to let it go. I think what helped me most is when I stopped fighting with myself, recognized I was anxious, and either talked to a support system or did something I enjoy like catch up on my TV shows or shower. Also, 7 Cups of Tea is a great source if you need to talk to someone. I hope you find peace with this.

    -Cortney

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