Hello my friend..

 

My name is Wind from Vietnam.

I share some ideas with you.

I don’t say you must believe or not believe my share. Depends you. You free.

I only invite your curious patient contemplation.

 

Without the body, the Soul does not have an occasion to practice grow up and pay everything.

 

Each life, yours, mine, family etc..

All follow the Law of cause and effect.

Each comes to the life to receive this and that.. 5 years. 40 years. 50.. 70. Etc..

 

But because of emotions attached to the appearance of the life.. Many did not see the basic law.. that if something begins..

Means it must end.

Everything takes place on the time.

 

Example.. Your Mother can not escape her cause and effect. Suffering comes from an attachment to the appearance. But.. If you can focus your attention on your Mother’s nature… Then you can peace inside with her passing. As I share.. Only the appearance has finished but Soul of your Mother continues on the Law of the Soul.

 

The body is always a temporary house for each Soul. The purpose of the life is to practice grow up the Soul to escape the spinning of repeating.

 

You are correct. Emotions always spin. All emotions move to follow the Law of the time. From one to the next. Happy. Sad. Angry. Love. Depression. Excited..

Always moving..

 

What can stop the spinning?

Practice to come back to awareness.

Awareness is seeing in quiet.

Practice to observe your thoughts as left unchecked they become like the match that lights the emotion and from the emotion you only see that emotion and follow.

 

I don’t say it’s easy or difficult to practice. But you must courage. To put down your attachments to the past.

As what you keep.. Keeps you.

 

Only awareness can burn the dark clouds of emotion that block the light of your pure bright nature. Just because the Sun is not seen, did not mean it was lost.

 

Maybe it is a good time in your life to practice some meditation. If you choose to discover it.

 

You are also lucky but you don’t realize it.

 

The life has given you many examples. From the loss of people around you and the feelings of overcoming everything in alone.

 

Now you must see… That..

Only YOU can save YOU.

 

Everything that takes place outside you..

Is not you. But because of your attachment to everything outside.. You invite suffering to come.

 

My friend..

 

If you can courage to see your life from another corner.. You will see that the life has shown you clearly that everything is a temporary condition. Your duty is to wake up in the temporary and grow up your life and Soul.

 

Face to face with everything as what comes or does not come is always equal with your own cause and effect. When you can begin seeing this Law and understanding deeper.. You will discover great confidence and courage in your life. Balance.

 

As the life always moves and changes.

The life is always ready with those who have the courage to live.

Existing requires no courage at all.

But to live.. Ready with everything unconditionally requires great courage and in each step of experience one discovers their own Faith.

 

Compassion begins with yourself.

When we keep the past means we are losing ourselves to an imaginary past.

When we worry about the future means we are losing ourselves to an imaginary future.

 

Come back to the simplest.

Gratitude. Grateful. For everything that is or is not. Your life is the appearance of your effect. Behaviour today is your effect tomorrow.

 

No matter how high the mountain it can only be reached one step at a time.

Awake in each step. Confidence in each step. Courage in each step.

 

Don’t keep my friend.

Like water that is stagnant becomes polluted over time. So too does the Soul when keeping emotions within.

 

Your duty is to discover your life.

Inside you is a great treasure.

The treasure is awareness.

 

Discover your treasure depends upon your courage and self determination to grow up your Soul. Your life.

As you begin to put down your emotional attachments to holding and keeping the appearance of your difficulties.. you slowly begin removing the obstructions that block your treasure.

 

Theres no where to go my friend.

The journey is in the coming back to your original bright pure nature.

 

My friend.. Again I share..

 

Without the body.. Your Soul has no occasion to practice grow up and pay.

 

Each situation is an occasion for you to practice to overcome yourself. Win you.

 

Discover meditation.. It is the gym for your Soul. It is the practice to come back to stillness. In the stillness we can wash the mind of all false seeing and thinking.

Where there is a beginning. Mean that on the time an ending must appear. All objects can not escape the Law of the time.

 

I wish you good luck on your path.

 

From my experience.. From passing through many dark forests and visiting many hells.. That on the time everything changes.

 

The biggest tree in the forest began as a seed.

 

Each of us must become the brave warrior inside.

 

Start to observe the life.

Compassion and forgiveness with yourself in each step. Ready in each step.

 

By the View you use, so it exists exactly.

 

My friend..

 

Keep going. Curious is a special door that can lead one back to the treasure within.

 

And.. Like each flower..

 

On the time.. With enough details and conditions.. Everything Opens

 

Likewise within your Soul.

 

Relax my friend.

 

Everything is OK.

 

Everything will take place.

 

Wind.

 

My friend..

 

Take some time to quietly contemplate the ideas I shared with you..

Over time. Gently. Patience.

Until you understand clearly.

 

As I only write one time to share.

 

I share sincerely..

 

Your body, your form and appearance are all equal with your cause and effect without any discrimination.

 

Meaning..

 

Everything that you are in this life is the appearance of your effects from past seeds you had planted in other lives. Yes.

 

The Law of cause and effect does not discriminate and effects always come right in each person. Rich. Poor. Healthy. Sick. Man. Woman. Country. Circumstances. Etc.. Etc..

 

When you can slowly begin seeing and understanding this in your life, you will stop your mad mind from comparing yourself with other objects. (people)

 

As each other person is also the appearance of their own effects.

 

What Tree, ever compared itself with another?

 

What flower ever cared about the appearance of other flowers?

 

Whether you were 1 foot tall or 1000 feet tall..

The appearance of what you are is always a temporary condition that always has limit.

As all objects follow the time.

 

But you must wake up and see that your nature within your form is free from all of these limitations.

 

It is not your body that is the cause of your suffering. It is your false seeing and discriminating limited view about yourself, from not understanding yourself and the purpose of your life.

 

The only way to escape your suffering is to begin completely and sincerely accepting everything that is you in this life.

Keep your eyes in your own eyes.

 

Why do you discriminate against yourself?

 

Don’t you realize that everything you compare yourself with is outside of you. Meaning.. It’s not you.

 

All your troubles come from your emotions attached to the appearance of the life and yourself.

 

My friend..

 

Each person comes to the life to receive this or that.

Your duty is to behave correctly with what you recieved.. your body.

 

Meaning.. Without the body your Soul has no occasion to pay, and practice grow up and overcome everything.

 

When you attack yourself or are against yourself means you mistake with yourself. Only you.

You are attacking your own cause and effect.

 

You must courage and confidence to begin put down your own inner discriminations and judgements. And..False views.

 

Bring your attention back on the purpose of your life.

 

On developing your nature from within.

The life always takes place from within.

 

You must choose.

In each moment.

 

Either..

 

Continue to suffer from your delusional ideas and behaviours..

 

Or begin stand up inside yourself and face your life as it is. Self respect.

 

You must unite within yourself with yourself and start walking along the path of your life with courage and self acceptance.

 

Remove the discrimination from within your own eyes and you will begin see the great value of your life and possibilities.

 

Otherwise..

 

You waste time. Lost time.

And my friend.. Respect yourself and the time is an important detail.

Instead of attacking the life and yourself..

Start practicing gratitude and unity from within.

 

My friend..

 

I tell you from Enlightenment View.

That the only great body is no ‘Body’

 

Meaning..

 

One day.. Your inner nature becomes so bright, pure and powerful.. You only laugh with the life.

 

You see all objects are equal. Meaning.. They all have a beginning and an ending. Limit.

 

My friend..

 

You stay in the weeds of your false perception..

 

Or..

 

You begin to practice and become the great Mountain from within.

 

Where you choose to place your energy.

Depends on you.

Its ok.

Keep goingmy friend.

Courage. Confidence.

You must become your own best friend in each step.

 

Good luck.

 

Wind.

My friend..

 

Your suffering and stress is the effect from your imagination to ‘WHAT IF.’

 

What is the nature of WHAT IF? Means if we must use WHAT IF. Then it is not your life.

 

I share..

 

Right now everything is OK. See everything as it is right now. Now you have a child. Let go of the number. See you have a child. And.. Everything is taking place equally with your current circumstances.

 

When you see everything clearly that IS.. You can begin relax inside, peace, from the storm of emotions from your imagination of how things should be or must be.

 

You allow the life to move freely without losing so much energy gasping in fears or self created expectations.

 

My friend when you compare yourself or your families situation with another you only mistake with yourself. When you are looking out at what others are doing or did.

 

Your inner suffering is the effect from not allowing everything to take place naturally. There is no wrong or right way.

Your fears of regrets come from keeping a fixed idea of how things should be.

 

Come back to the space of gratitude in everything that you have together now as a family.

Focus on your own family and not the habits and behaviours of others.

Relax with the life. Your life. Relax means come back to the present and grateful for the child you have. Don’t lose yourself to an imaginary future or past.

Must courage. Confidence.

Ready with the life.

Courage and confidence in yourself no matter which way everything goes.

You can overcome anything.

Peace my friend. Peace in everything and gratitude for what you have. Now.

No need to force the life.

Practice to put down your emotions and fears attached to your imagined outcomes and you will be able balance again.

When you balance, and the spinning of emotions slows down.. You come back to calm inside..

See clearly again without the obstructions from false thinking.

 

Everything will take place.

The way will appear naturally on the time.

My friend.

Balance.

Its ok.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Dear Triss,

A bad relation is quite painful and to let go is the best thing you can do. Don’t feel bad for your self. Be emotionally strong as you are not alone in this world. control behavior is questioning your freedom. No soul loves to be bound , its the nature of every one to have their own freedom. Only when you are free you get to develop your true potential while living in a boundary will only suffocate you. Give it some time, dont take an haste decisions, time will show you the way. Think positively and develop gratitude to your self. Dont go back now and keep a space with him and if you are fated to be together everything will work fine if not this is not the end of everything. Move on with your head raised and live your life proudly.  You deserve the Best.

This close to the experience it may be difficult to detach the emotions from the analysis of the experience and learn from it.  Detachment here does not mean not feeling the emotions you have only that you avoid attaching your sense of self to them. We have emotions we are not our emotions. We have experience’s we are not our experiences. (That can be a hard one to grasp, as its all to easy to define ourselves and or be defined by a single experience. )

You are not a ‘bad’ person because you feel bad or have done hurtful things to others. We all struggle and we all hurt the ones we care about most sometimes. Relationships are a crucible which will revel our best and worst qualities.  Shadow work (often projected onto the other) and mindfulness can help us separate the things that belong to us and the things that belong to our partner. Forgiveness, accountability, responsibility… are all tools that help us develop the ability to learn better, and learning better do better.

Sadly its a reality that it is often the pain of a relationship ending the pushes us to do the work that might have saved the relationship.

My experience and observations is that their is a tipping point when the past of a relationship becomes so heavy that only those where both those involved have truly learned to know themselves AND a have developed the art of Forgiveness AND have above, above average ability to communicate can over come. (Depending on those factors (and others) every relationship has a different tipping point that love, as understood in that experience, cannot over come. )  Love pushes towards life and growth, when the tipping point has been reached, LOVE may require a relationship to end if only to push us.

Their is a lot to unpack in your post, a lot that you might learn from. Keep writing. Keep a look out for your victim and villain story’s. These types of stories can shine a light on our own projections and fears, areas that might require work.

Other questions you might ask. Where in the relationship did you feel safe? Did you react or respond to you partner when you felt unsafe?  How so? How did your partner respond or react to you when they felt unsafe? Where your boundaries healthy ones?  How many of your boundaries were defined by fear and how many maintained by love? (Using the energy of fear and anger to maintain boundaries may be easier then using the energy of love. At least that has been my experience. )

I wish you well on your journey. Its sounds so odd… but LOVE opens the door to being able to be grateful for the very things you wished never happened.

From a interview of Stephen Colbert

“…he is the youngest of eleven kids and … his father and two of his brothers, Peter and Paul, the two closest to him in age, were killed in a plane crash when he was 10.”

“I learned to love the thing that I most wish had not happened.”

I asked him if he could help me understand that better, and he described a letter from Tolkien in response to a priest who had questioned whether Tolkien’s mythos was sufficiently doctrinaire, since it treated death not as a punishment for the sin of the fall but as a gift. “Tolkien says, in a letter back: ‘What punishments of G_d are not gifts?’ ”

Colbert knocked his knuckles on the table. “ ‘What punishments of G_d are not gifts?’ ” he said again. His eyes were filled with tears. “So it would be ungrateful not to take everything with gratitude. It doesn’t mean you want it. I can hold both of those ideas in my head.”

He was 35, he said, before he could really feel the truth of that. He was walking down the street, and it “stopped me dead. I went, ‘Oh, I’m grateful. Oh, I feel terrible.  I felt so guilty to be grateful’. But I knew it was true.

“It’s not the same thing as wanting it to have happened,” he said. “But you can’t change everything about the world. You certainly can’t change things that have already happened.”

Consider that this is coming from a man who millions of people will soon watch on their televisions every night—if only there were a way to measure the virality of this, which he’ll never say on TV, I imagine, but which, as far as I can tell, he practices every waking minute of his life.

The next thing he said I wrote on a slip of paper in his office and have carried it around with me since. It’s our choice, whether to hate something in our lives or to love every moment of them, even the parts that bring us pain. “At every moment, we are volunteers.”

 

 

Hiya

I had a baby 6 weeks ago at the age of 41!at that time i was working through employee monitoring.We started trying to conceive several years ago and in the end we used an egg donor and had IVF. I have quite a few friends who had babies in their late 30s/early 40s. Some conceived naturally and others sought fertility treatment. Another adopted two beautiful boys at the age of 45. If you really want it to happen there are so many options now so don’t feel sad about your age. Just focus on what you can do to find joy in the future. Its wonderful you are in a relationship with someone who also wants to be a parent! However you have kids, they will be so lucky to have a parent who wanted them so much and has all that life experience to share…

It’s really tough feeling like time is going too fast but there are lots of different routes to a family and a happy life. Personally I am so grateful to be able to hold my son in my arms and full of love and gratitude to any women who choose to donate eggs.

Stay positive  x x x

span class="Y2IQFc" lang="en">"Just focus on what you can do to find joy in the future", very important words ... thank you for writing

I found some journaling prompts for you that are more positive:

33 Prompts to Promote Optimism and Health on Positive Thinking Day

1. What is something that always puts you in a good mood?
2. What is the best way to lift someone else’s spirits?
3. Do you consider yourself to be an optimist? Why or why not?
4. Create a morning mantra for yourself that you could use to start each day off right. Write about what it means to you.
5. Do you believe that setting a good intention for your day can help you have a better day? Why or why not?
6. Imagine your perfect day and write about what it would look like.
7. Write about a time when a situation that seemed bad turned out okay in the end.
8. Make a gratitude list of everything you’re thankful for this week. Then, choose one thing to write about in detail.
9. Who is the most positive person you know? How do you feel when you are around him or her?
10. What are a few small things you could do to have a more positive attitude?
11. What is your favorite thing about yourself? Write about how it impacts your life.
12. Did you know that positive thinking can be good for your physical health? Why do you think this is?
13. What is the nicest thing someone has ever said about you? How did it make you feel?
14. What would you do if your best friend needed to be cheered up?
15. It’s only human to make mistakes! Write about a time when you could have used this reminder.
16. Try to keep a smile on your face for as much of the day as possible. Then, write about your experience.
17. Do you find it easy to express your feelings? Why or why not?
18. What can you do today to make someone else’s day a little better?
19. Make a list of positive “I am…” statements that you can read to yourself when you’re feeling sad.
20. When you’re in a bad mood or feeling tired, do you prefer to be left alone or spend time with others? Why?
21. People say, “Every cloud has a silver lining.” What does this phrase mean to you?
22. What do you like to do to make yourself feel better when you’re feeling down? Why?
23. What inspires you to be a better person? Why?
24. Who can you turn to when you need advice or support? How will that person help you?
25. Does your home feel like a positive environment to you? Why or why not?
26. What is one negative thing you could easily eliminate from your life?
27. Think of one nice thing you can do for a stranger today. Then, write about what you will do.
28. Write about a time when you used positive thinking to reframe a negative situation.
29. Spend a day doing things more slowly. Then, write about your experience and any changes to your mood that you noticed.
30. Think of something that scares you. Then, consider a reason you don’t need to be scared of it and write about your thoughts.
31. What is one healthy habit you could maintain each day that would have a positive effect on your life?
32. People say, “Laughter is the best medicine.” What is something that always makes you laugh?  Does it make you feel better when you are upset?
33. Think of something that has bothered you lately. Do you think you will still care about it in a month?  Or in a year?  Why or why not?

Hiya

I had a baby 6 weeks ago at the age of 41! We started trying to conceive several years ago and in the end we used an egg donor and had IVF. I have quite a few friends who had babies in their late 30s/early 40s. Some conceived naturally and others sought fertility treatment. Another adopted two beautiful boys at the age of 45. If you really want it to happen there are so many options now so don’t feel sad about your age. Just focus on what you can do to find joy in the future. Its wonderful you are in a relationship with someone who also wants to be a parent! However you have kids, they will be so lucky to have a parent who wanted them so much and has all that life experience to share…

It’s really tough feeling like time is going too fast but there are lots of different routes to a family and a happy life. Personally I am so grateful to be able to hold my son in my arms and full of love and gratitude to any women who choose to donate eggs.

Stay positive  x x x

"Just focus on what you can do to find joy in the future", very important words ... thank you for writing

Javier,

I’m so proud of you again for getting help. I know it’s tough. But you’re almost through this! You just have to hold on. 🙂 We are here for you. I’m not going anywhere. You can check in as much as you like. I will answer as soon as I can.

Once you get the answers, you can take control of your life. That is the goal. You have that to look forward to.

Try gratitude journaling. It seems too like you have negative thought patterns which you have not yet learned to positively reframed. This is an article I wrote today for Forbes on this very issue: HERE

So you have a why. You want to see what will happen once you get the answers and take control. You want to not cause those you love the suffering of you ending it. But you need to dig a little deeper and find more whys.

Here’s some suggestions:

1) To help others go through what you are going through

2) To advocate for causes related to your issues

3) To find happiness and purpose

4) To know yourself so you can be vulnerable and open in a relationship without leaning too hard on the other person

5) To establish boundaries so you stay safe in your relationships or know when to walk away

6) To love yourself unconditionally. I want you to start working on this one right now.

7) To forgive yourself and others.

8) To follow something bigger than yourself- maybe an organization, cause or even a faith

9) To make meaning out of the mess. Your mess is your message.

10) And to be mindful in the moment. I suggest starting to meditate. Try Insight Timer for free ones.

Can you think of anymore?

Javier,

I’m so proud of you again for getting help. I know it’s tough. But you’re almost through this! You just have to hold on. 🙂 We are here for you. I’m not going anywhere. You can check in as much as you like. I will answer as soon as I can.

Once you get the answers, you can take control of your life. That is the goal. You have that to look forward to.

Try gratitude journaling. It seems too like you have negative thought patterns which you have not yet learned to positively reframed. This is an article I wrote today for Forbes on this very issue: HERE

So you have a why. You want to see what will happen once you get the answers and take control. You want to not cause those you love the suffering of you ending it. But you need to dig a little deeper and find more whys.

Here’s some suggestions:

1) To help others go through what you are going through

2) To advocate for causes related to your issues

3) To find happiness and purpose

4) To know yourself so you can be vulnerable and open in a relationship without leaning too hard on the other person

5) To establish boundaries so you stay safe in your relationships or know when to walk away

6) To love yourself unconditionally. I want you to start working on this one right now.

7) To forgive yourself and others.

8) To follow something bigger than yourself- maybe an organization, cause or even a faith

9) To make meaning out of the mess. Your mess is your message.

10) And to be mindful in the moment. I suggest starting to meditate. Try Insight Timer for free ones.

Can you think of anymore?

@Sammy1 I appreciate your understanding, unfortunately this will be my last post, at least for the foreseeable future. I do not have the time to dedicate or to really offer a listening ear and wisdom in the way I would like.

Very proud of you doll, you did the hard graft by yourself. You really showed grit and determination to overcome the pain and not let the critic we all possess beat you down. You are capable of remaining true to your identity, and are looking to add to your happiness and not seeking happiness in someone or something! Kudos to you! I know you can only soar higher from here.

I hope the new man in your life continues to cherish the wonderful woman you are. Sounds like a gent!

Thank you for that update, I’m sure @Kkasxo and @Shelbyville are both doing great so try not to worry, focus on channelling that incredible caring ability and compassion on yourself and those who do remain present.

@Dannydan Kudos to you too for the courage you showed in pursuing ‘B’ against the odds. You can live a life without the what if or regret. It takes incredible strength to admit you need help so you’re already leaps ahead than most.

Oh the sleepless nights are tough not to mention the cost of nappies and formula! Expensive raising a child, however I’m blessed with a beautiful daughter and wife so remind myself to be grateful.

I don’t have much free time sadly but to answer your question without creating more. Depression has no cure, it’s not something you just outgrow or treat once and it disappears. There is always that risk of having another episode as you are predisposed. For example when I became redundant although i was better equipped at handling my emotions due to growth, it was still overwhelming enough to cause another episode.

If identified, it is treatable, so I took the right steps instead of ignoring the issue and was put on medication for short duration. I now also keep on top of my self care.

The major factor in my treatment plan has been my partner, she has an innate emotional understanding, she just makes any episode less daunting and is capable of handling it without me fearing asking for help, she will never consider me weak, so I never feel the extra pressure to hide anything or put on a mask – this itself can be so draining.

I’ve found someone who understands it’s a part of me and is able to support me. Most often she can detect it before me and it all makes a huge difference. The key thing is not to just take and learn self sufficiency, do everything possible to be a rock for her, appreciate and value your partner that when the going gets tough they can give extra if necessary. So it works. Someone who accepts you will not be afraid to speak or explore your darker side. I think you’ve really found that with ‘B’ so don’t worry. Just keep it balanced.

Sammy and Danny , shine bright and all the best for your journey. Practice gratitude, humbleness and continue to challenge each other to grow. Pleasure to have encountered you both!

First of all, I’m proud of you for reaching out for help. Since wed is your follow up, try to find some ways of coping til you get the answers. I had something happen to me today that made me want to give up. I was very drowsy, and it’s been like this for two weeks. I thought I wasn’t eating healthy enough so I kept trying different things. Then I told my mother who said the same thing happens to her a lot. She told me it was sinuses. I took a sinus med and felt all better. The point of this? The whole time my brain was telling me to give up. I was filled with negative thoughts, worries, ruminations and catastrophizing. My own bran was using my fears against me. And it turned out to be fixable.

That’s not unlike your situation. There are solutions, you just don’t see them. One thought that helped me through this time was thinking “I’m just going to be curious about what is happening next.” My brain wanted to just quit. I was done. I was like, I can’t function or live this way so why do it? And it turned out to just be my sinuses! I used this thought of just being curious for how things to resolve themselves to fight back persistent negative thought patterns. It worked.

You don’t have to have all the answers now. I hope you get on Lexapro and if not, they find another med which will work for you. Your evaluation uncovered many helpful things and it’s all coming together! There is a way through this which is to keep going, to just be curious about how things will turn out.

I’ve had suicidal ideations most of my life. I always wanted to just give up. So I know how you feel. I kept going because I wanted to help others. What is your “Why?” Do you feel you have one? You need it to be strong enough to hold onto through this. It could be a dream, a way to help others through similar things, a relationship, a faith or religion…anything that gives you meaning. I recommend the book Man’s Search for Meaning by holocaust survivor, Viktor Frankl. You are not the first to feel despair and hopelessness. So many feel it. But there are people who have written great things about it. He is one of them.

I’ll be praying for you. Please keep telling a professional how you are feeling, and if you are suicidal, call a hotline or go to a psych ward or call local authorities. It’s okay to need help right now. But you’re life isn’t over. You have so much more to give and experience. No one can take that away from you- not your past, not your mind etc. No one can take away the goodness that your life has to offer. You just need to remind what’s worth holding onto.

For journaling, there are many different types. If you are exploring negative feelings, it could bring up trauma. I would self advocate and ask for other journaling methods. Maybe try gratitude journaling. See how that feels.

All my best,

Sarah