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Posts tagged with “resentful”

A Little-Known Truth About People-Pleasing and How to Stop (for Good)

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“Being a people-pleaser may be more than a personality trait; it could be a response to serious trauma.” ~Alex Bachert

Growing up in a home, school, and church that placed a lot of value on good behavior, self-discipline, and corporal punishment, I was a model child. There could have been an American Girl doll designed after me—the well-mannered church girl with a nineties hairbow edition.

I was quiet and pleasant and never got sent to the principal’s office. Complaining and “ugly” emotions were simply not allowed. Though I was very rambunctious and “rebellious” as a toddler, all of that was …

Why I Attracted One-Sided Relationships and Gave More Than I Got

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“I was once afraid of people saying, ‘Who does she think she is?’ Now I have the courage to stand and say, ‘This is who I am.’” ~Oprah Winfrey 

In May of this year, I decided to take a personal development course, hoping to resolve some of my limiting beliefs and raise my confidence to pursue my professional goals.

The course turned out to be far different from what I thought it would be, and it blew my mind. In just three days, I transformed the way I functioned in most of my relationships.

A week before the course, I …

Forgiving and Letting Go When You Feel Resentful

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“The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong.” ~Mahatma Ghandi

My childhood was in many ways a nice childhood. I feel like a complete twit to complain about it.  I know other people have gone through so much worse. I’ve read really difficult childhood stories and my heart literally bleeds for these people.

Growing up I was shy, un-confident, and withdrawn. I treated school mostly like a prison sentence. I put my head down and tried to do my time without falling in with the wrong crowd.

My parents were, and are, good parents. They provided …

5 Steps to Learn from Anger

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“Don’t wait for your feelings to change to take the action. Take the action and your feelings will change.” ~Barbara Baron

How do you feel about anger? Growing up, I always felt that anger was “bad.” In school and at home I learned that anger made people do “bad” things, and anger was a source of “evil” in the world.

I didn’t want any part of that! So, when things happened that made me angry (for example, getting bullied at school), I’d ignore the feelings of anger until they “went away.” I’d go home and cry, feeling these emotions …

Releasing Resentment: Who You’re Really Angry With and Why

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“Resentment is like taking poison and waiting for the other person to die.” ~Malachy McCourt

“Can I kiss you?” he asked.

I didn’t particularly want to kiss him, but it had been a benign first date, and I didn’t know how to say no without hurting his feelings.

We were standing by my car in broad daylight, and what could be the harm, right? So I rather unenthusiastically nodded my head.

He, on the other hand, was quite enthusiastic, more than I was prepared for.

As he leaned in, I closed my eyes and endured the kiss, which most definitely …

Dramatically Improve your Relationships by Becoming a Team

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“We may have all come in different ships, but we’re in the same boat now.” ~Martin Luther King Jr.

I once had a totally commonplace, uneventful thought that transformed the way I viewed relationships.

I’m not sure that it was mine; it certainly wasn’t anything groundbreaking or unique. I may have read it somewhere, I can’t remember now.

It was the notion that when two people in a relationship think of themselves as on the same team, things get much easier. Positive feelings grow freely. Score-keeping and resentment are nonexistent. 

Insights are very personal—a simple phrase that turns my …

4 Powerful Tips to Reduce Resentment and Feel Happier

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“Those who are free of resentful thoughts surely find peace.” ~Buddha

Life is short. Time spent feeling angry or resentful about things that happened or didn’t happen is time squandered.

What’s that? You think those feelings motivate you and help you get things done? Hogwash! If you’re honest with yourself, you realize getting things done isn’t the end goal. The goal is to feel fulfilled and happy.

Accomplishments fueled by resentment and anger seldom contribute to serenity and fulfillment. More importantly, the moments you spent crossing things off your to-do list with a scowl slip away without giving you …

Are You Too Nice? How to Be Kind and Be Good to Yourself

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“We must each lead a way of life with self-awareness and compassion, to do as much as we can. Then, whatever happens we will have no regrets.” ~Dalai Lama

I finally decided that I would call my friend. By then, our lunch plans wouldn’t have made any sense since it was getting close to midnight.

She answered and started speaking immediately. “Hey, I lost track of time. I’ve been running a lot of errands today. Oh, did you hear about this new job opportunity I’m getting? No? Let me tell you about it…”

I felt a wave of emotion within …

How to Forgive Someone When It’s Hard: 30 Tips to Let Go of Anger

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“The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong.” ~Mahatma Gandhi

Up until my early twenties, I carried around a lot of anger toward someone in my life. I’d been hurt by a person I trusted, and for a long time in my adolescence I wanted to hurt them back.

I lived in painful stories and in visions of what could have been if I hadn’t been wronged. I blamed someone else for the life I didn’t have, and felt vindicated in the soul-sucking resentment I carried around from day to day.

I realize it makes less …