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September 14, 2018 at 6:01 am #225643
Well this might be a long one, you down to ride? lets-go..
So this girl I knew from highschool, Koala. whom I bumped into in the winter of 2016? Dated her for about 6 weeks after the bumping into eachother. She refused to go any further with me back then because she wanted to retry with her ex boyfriend, snake. Well koala knew snake was real bad for her just using her for sex. But koala really loved the snake for some reason. So koala left me, Tiger, to try again for the 10th time with snake.
fastforward to summer 2017
Snake had hurt Koala again, Koala desided to text me.
we eventualy meet up have some nice dates. after that we had a big fight where I called her Sad for still not being over her ex, I gues I was hurt because she left me the last time for this dude. But I said sorry after that and we ended up in a great relationship we where happy. I made some mistakes looking in her phone while there wans’t anything to find. she read my messages where I talked to an old fling of sorts, nothing real or someone I had any feelings for. we fight. I actually did this a few times when I got parranoid wich I was I suppose. since Koala had a shared group of friends with Snake and Koala could not stay away from this group or Snake. he would always text her or somth every few weeks this got e parranoide she was texting back so yeah I checked her phone, my bad, stupid and unrespectfull towards her privacy. the privacy was a big deal for her, wich in turn maybe made me even more parranoid. So yeah one day she gave a birthday party and she invited snake and the gang. As I was tired and it was only snake koala and a friend left I asked her to go to bed she denied, I went anyway. The following week she was acting susspicious , I asked her whats up? did smth happen with snake on your party?(snake ruined the party btw he was way to druk and fought one of his own friends) she said no nothing happend. Ass the next day she wouldn’t respond to any of my messages I checked her phone. she had been texting snake, about how the didn’t kiss but bite eachother and how he liked it when they where touching eachother, no kissing no sex though… I was hella mad. She betrayed me. She told me she wouldn’t have told me this if I didn’t check her phone because for her nothing happend??? Her dad does the same thing to her mom… I decided to stay in the Rship because I truely loved this girl we had moments of pure joy en laughter where there was lots of love and we really fit together. I still felt betrayed though so part of me was not in love anymore. Xe had a few more months together felt good sometimes bad other times. She had been going on about seeing snake and the gang again , I told her see the gang withouth snake… She did but then realised she was missing parties. She was going on all week how she wanted to go to this party comming up. I didn’t like it so I checked her phone for the 3rd time she saw me and got really mad . She told me I had broken her heart. Still we went to Amsterdam together where we had a good time, could have been better but it was good:) A week after A-dam she told me it was over she couldn’t get over what I did. I said ok If you need time for yourself I wish you well etc.
2weeks she called me and told me she misses me and wants to meet up so we did on that weeks saturday. we had a drink talked about what whent wrong and what could be better,… We both said I love you I want to date you I hope we can fix this. It was good I felt in love again I believe she did too. sadly a week ago she told me she had went to a party where snake was, kissed him and let him touch her etc. she could bear to continue lieing to me so she told me after a week, we had sex during this week.. I felt discust towards he was really mad told her she needs selfrespect and left. last sunday she came to pick up her shit from my appartment. She told me her love for me was always real and stuff like this ( she hopes I can someday forgive her) I just don’t know what to believe from this girl anymore.
So yesterday I was reading some posts on this forum to see if somthing could help with my situation or if anything was relatable, I bumped into a post from my ex, where she writes she actualy had sex with snake while she told me they only touched eachother a litle. Is this another lie she told me? did she ever speak the truth? the fact that she might have lied at the end and not tell me what really happend that even in the end she couldn’t tell the truth hurts me more than anything she doesn’t allow me to make my own judgement she keeps things from me…
But at the end of the day I alway loved this girl with all my hart she had a rought childhood with infidelity amongst her parents and lots of fights , manipulation and lying, I think all this mad her into who she is today.
I truely though she had a kind and good hart. that she truely loved me and we had all these good times we had great sex and great fun. Now I feel like it was all a Lie?!, I just feel broken.