God is My Strength Through Struggle

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    Sarah Jeanne Browne

    I have bipolar and have been through quite the journey of recovering after a first time breakdown then a relapse when for most of my life I was undiagnosed and didn’t know I had  it until my late twenties. I’m much happier now but I still have challenges. The pills are never perfect..I have to accept that weight loss is harder for me. I have to accept insomnia of which I need to get a sleeping aid for (over the counter doesn’t work). And I’ve had spiritual experiences my whole life. I was in a psych ward and while it is a secular experience, I felt God was with me wanting me to observe.

    I now have insights about the needs of those in the mental health system that I don’t know what to do with yet (any suggestions help). I am a writer and have one article so far on this site about forgiveness 

    You can click “forgiveness” above to read it. (Would love a comment on it!)

    God has been all I have had. I’ve had nothing. I lost everything. I am on disability, can’t work right now but am using my time for creative endeavors and as a blogger for a nonprofit. 🙂

    I’m happy now but I have no reason to be. Just happy. I got there and I have “nothing.”

    What is  my purpose in life? I often think of that. I would love to hear how God has been in your life and whether you believe in that. Thanks so much.

    Ps. My Purpose is to Love Life Right Now Because I Know What It’s Like to Lose Everything~


    Dear Sarah Jeanne Browne:

    You shared that you have a bipolar disorder, “much happier now but I still have challenges”, insomnia and weight being hard to lose are two such challenges. You are on disability, blogging for a nonprofit. You wrote that your purpose in life is “to Love Life Right Now Because I Know What It’s Like to Lose Everything”.

    Regarding your article about Forgiveness, as I read it I forgot myself and got lost in the story, feeling compassion for Elaine. I thought to myself how well you write, how I wish I could write like that. It takes a talent to get the reader emotionally involved in a story. You did this so well.

    I also thought that Elaine may not have caused your parents’ divorce. Maybe the marriage was bad way before Elaine, I don’t know. You didn’t show in your story that indeed she did wrong, as I understand it. If you view all divorces as wrong, perhaps a sin (believing in God, as you do), then I suppose your father did wrong as much as Elaine did, for getting involved with him while he was married.

    Regarding God, I usually type god with small letters as I just did because I don’t believe there is such a thing, person or entity as described in any bible I know of or in the long history of religion and culture as I know it. I considered it in the past but rejected it because it makes no sense, is not logical.

    And the issue is closed, for me, the god issue, that is.

    Thank you for your thread. I hope you post again anytime.



    Sarah Jeanne Browne

    Hi Anita–

    I do not blame Elaine for my parent’s divorce, but when I was a kid I did as that was the straw that broke the camel’s back.  Obviously, things are not always black or white.

    I have a ton of spiritual experiences so I can’t help but believe in God especially after a near death experience in my mid- twenties. 🙂 But if you say, case closed then case closed! I do not mind if others believe differently than me so long as their beliefs don’t hurt anyone. My beliefs I will say are unique– I’m more spiritual than religious. No, I don’t believe divorce is wrong. It is necessary sometimes to save a life! 🙂 God is my favorite topic but I won’t bore you with that. I will just say that not everyone who believes in God has box like thinking. I think outside of the box! I hope you do too.

    Thanks for responding to my thread.

    Have a nice day

    Sarah J


    Dear Sarah J:

    You are welcome and I hope you have a nice day as well.

    Perhaps other members who do believe in God would like to communicate with you about your favorite topic. I hope they respond to you.

    Regarding “not everyone who believes in God has box like thinking. I think outside of the box! I hope you do too”- we all have to close the doors on some thinking, some considerations of what reality is, otherwise we won’t be able to function at all. And so, we all close doors.


    Sarah Jeanne Browne

    I prefer to have an open mind!

    Have a nice day


    Hello Sarah,

    I have also had spiritual experiences over the past five years and have little doubt that God is real because there were too many coincidences. However,  the experiences have left me in a very bad place spiritually, mentally and emotionally. Indeed, tomorrow I am going to see the doctor about my severe depression and anxiety. So I would just like to warn you not to get too deep into chasing after God, because he can be quite cruel and hurtful and I wouldn’t like you to experience what I have had to go through.

    Best wishes,


    Sarah Jeanne Browne

    Request- If you are trying to make me an atheist rather than respect my beliefs, please feel free not to comment


    Dear Sarah

    I am not that much of a good writer. It makes me feel really good to meet such a wonderful soul like you. To me God is the most beautiful thing, both mysterious and very open. Actually He is the only one to talk which in case make an opportunity for you to meet  someone who will put wisdom in you. So he may not be visible while helping us actually it is He who is helping us and yes putting us in distress too. My relationship with God is that I have been sent to earth to pray for him to follow what He has said and endure the pain and seek His help. When my time will run out I will simply go to Him to and be accountable for what  I did back in this world. We make things complicated about God. I believe He just wants us to love him love other people and try our best actually not try rather Have to do our best living a God led life. I don’t know if this helped you in any way but it was meeting you 🙂


    Karen Murphy

    Dear Sarah,

    I read your beautiful piece on forgiveness. There can’t be anything that pleases God more than seeing us forgive others, since He has forgiven us so much, and we’re never more godlike than when we turn around and do the same. Our sins have separated us from God, wrecked our relationship with Him, and justice demands a punishment for them. But God punished Jesus in our place to pay the penalty in full and restore our broken relationship with Him. All we have to do is believe and He will forgive. And when we are reconciled to Him, we can bring Him all our struggles, our fears, our hurts and let Him take care of them.

    And I think Someone is right about us making it too complicated. Thanks for your beautiful post! He’s my strength through struggle, too.


    Dear Sarah

    God exists and protects. What we face in our lives may be connected to our own present and pats karmas. I am a strong believer in God or some kind of higher power and no one can make me believe otherwise. My faith and belief in God has helped me through very tough times in my life.

    Some sources of spiritual knowledge that have helped me:

    Dr.Wayne Dyer (late)’s teachings and videos have helped me a lot.

    Sister Shivani

    Good luck and take care



    Hi Sarah Jeanne,

    I believe in God. I believe He appeared as Jesus and I often wonder if He appeared to others at different times to different people in different ways.  Some think he is Krishna or perhaps Budda. Some think these were all prophets or avatars.  I think the main thing is to believe! The exact way and how and who aren’t as important as the overall sense of someone being there to love us and hopefully guide us. I suffer from Ptsd and sometimes I thought there might not be a God. But as I get older I realize there is free will. God did not want us to be robots. He lets us chose. I believe that one day we will all be together and happy in that togetherness! You seem very gentle and sincere.  I love hearing about God from others. Thank you for writing. Sending you a spiritual hug! And blessings, Holly-Kristine

    • This reply was modified 1 year, 1 month ago by Holly-Kristine. Reason: Misspelling
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