April 2, 2021 at 1:29 am #377013
I am trying my best to be grateful and make the most out of what now has to offer. There’s been a few bumps with moving. My key stopped working for the building entrance and the second key as well. Thankfully someone could let me in. I got two parking tickets in one night but thankfully I might be able to rent a parking spot soon.
I looked into the visual media 2 year program at the community college down the road from me. Tuition seems affordable with about two thousand per quarter. And it looks like a great opportunity to learn videography and al sorts of art forms digital and physical. I thought this might be a good path to take. And to take advantage of the lower rent I have. Even with paying for a parking spot I am still saving 200 a month. It would be a dream to support myself while making art. And I was thinking if I learned many forms such as recording special moments for people, or helping build websites or video game art, I might have a better chance making it profitable. At first I felt so frustrated like I am going backwards in life and feeling bad that I don’t have as much stability I’d hope for. But I am grateful for having a roof over my head and sir Harry. Anyways they are accepting applicants and seem to be doing zoom info sessions. My other choice could be trying to finish my biochemistry degree I worked towards with only 5 classes left. I just know that I really feel like I need to be working and dreaming towards something meaningful. It feels like the job I have now isn’t something that will give me an income where I can afford a house. I wish to feel at home. Maybe I don’t necessarily need to afford a house. I will try to get some sleep and I hope you have the best day Anita!
zeezaApril 2, 2021 at 5:30 am #377028
Good to read from you although I wish you were asleep at 1:29 am. Make sure you don’t get more parking tickets before you are able to rent a parking spot. Regarding your dilemma: visual art studies vs completing your biochemistry degree: how much time and money will it cost you to complete the five classes left?
anitaApril 2, 2021 at 11:11 am #377040
The cost of finishing my biochemistry degree is variable because I have an option to take the course at the community college and transfer the credit. The courses would take about less than a year Sind they are in a sequence. I would need to relearn and review a lot. I’d say it could be anywhere between 2 to 10 grand for tuition.
for the visual arts it would take 2 years and with no financial aid it would be about 16 grand for the two years of tuition. I might not have to do full two years because I have already completed most required courses besides the meat of the major.
I would have to reapply to the old university to start and see what that would be like. I didn’t file my fafsa so maybe I should start there.
the parking tickets are confusing because I’ve parked there before and no ticket and so have other cars I think I need a special parking permit to park in the city. I had to park very far last night and I think the fear of being locked out and thinking of my future kept me up so late. My adrenaline was going.
April 2, 2021 at 11:41 am #377043
- This reply was modified 1 week, 6 days ago by Zeeza.
Biochemistry: less than a year, 2-10 thousand dollars; Visual Arts: 2 years, maybe less, 16 thousand dollars, maybe less.
This is what I would do, if I was you: research current and projected employment opportunities and income for a biochemistry graduate, and for a visual arts graduate in the city where you live, and perhaps elsewhere. Choose the route that is significantly more likely to lead you to a stable job with desirable income, benefits and working conditions. Also, I think that for you, having a job is preferable to being self-employed/ being your own boss.
anitaApril 2, 2021 at 2:30 pm #377048
that sounds like a solid plan I have researched both and both seem to have a lot of job opportunities in this location but I haven’t fully researched the financial aspect of both. It seems for science though I need at least a masters to contribute more than just a person who repeats experiments or does quality control. I may be limited in my views.
I have entertained the idea of being an art entrepreneur and like the idea of the freedom but not having structure does stress me out and I struggle with structure in just taking care of myself which I wish was my strongest skill. I get bored very easily so I thought this wouldn’t be boring but exciting.April 2, 2021 at 2:36 pm #377049
I suggest that you research the financial aspect and research more the expected practical use of a degree in this and a degree in that before you choose one of the two routes. Regarding being an art entrepreneur as a full time occupation, I don’t think it’s a good idea. As a second/ side job, perhaps, not as a full time job.
The excitement of doing art is not likely to carry you through the anxiety regarding lack of structure day after day, after day.
So, if I was you, I would focus on which route will get you a better, structured job, as an employee.
April 6, 2021 at 12:38 pm #377295
- This reply was modified 1 week, 6 days ago by anita.
the Easter holiday snuck up on me and I woke up that day with weird memories it was if I was dreaming them and it was the memory of how I would cry myself to sleep as a child thinking nobody loves me and I didn’t think I’d get anything for holidays because I am a bad girl. And that Easter I found heart shape on the ground made of jelly beans. I felt emotionally resistant to this memory and tried to focus on my day but towards the end of the night I could see how remembering dreaming this influenced me. I felt alone and like no one cared but I know this isn’t true and thought maybe this is why I like finding heart shaped rocks or heart shaped anything. I hope you had a good Easter?
I was thinking about how I could create structure with art. And realized I have an opportunity to do art and enjoy it if I can make my job schedule work for me. It would make sense to have an art business if I had a model that also sold stickers and prints so that making original art isn’t the only source of income. If I did a regular broadcasting kind of show when I made art it would provide a structure and a way to have people see my art. I was thinking about making a boar today who has been cursed by unkindness and it is from a movie. I figure that if I touch in common grounds like art from movies with my own twist so I don’t get copy right or if I made a theme of tarot cards; making a tarot card each week. Another idea I had is sharing my favorite quotes and making a drawing about it. Right now mine is “to provide light one must endure burning” Viktor Frankl. The reason why I think of this art structure is because I have seen other artists do something similar and appear to be successful with it. I have watched different people stream their art and see how they attracts it and what seems to be successful. it is like building an art community that inspires positive thinking and hearing other people’s ideas as well. I could easily try doing this once a week while keeping a normal job. I am just nervous to be a public presentation of myself so I would rather be confident by planning it out. It seems like people who watch art streams can be lonely themselves so I am trying to keep that in mind
I have been very sleep deprived and I think I finally caught up on sleep Harry was very confused when I sleeped in poor buddy. I realize last night that I can try to save a little under 1/3 of my income which I think is very luxurious and I haven’t really realized how much I can save with this new set up. I am starting to feel more appreciated at work and I feel like if I make a request to have a more normal schedule it would be easier to have a normal sleep schedule and this healthy life.
my lab manager invited me to go rock hunting with her. I thought this would be fun. I need to get vaccinated I am going to cal to see where I can go. Here’s to new chapters of life!April 6, 2021 at 1:20 pm #377297
In your dream/ memories you were a bad girl. In reality you were a good girl, and you are now a good woman!!!
You have lots of creative, exciting art ideas that are worthy of pursuing “while keeping a normal job”, like you wrote. I hope that you do manage to save money, that you get fully vaccinated soon, and that you request and receive “a more normal schedule” at work, so to have a better sleep schedule for you, and a less confuse Sir Harry!
Back to you: here to a new chapter of life!
anitaApril 8, 2021 at 11:08 pm #377394
I have been successful unpacking and setting up a vaccine appt which will be Thursday morning. I will have the Johnson and Johnson vaccine.
I somehow injured my left hand. It was aching my Friday and got worse throughout the week. I woke up in the night last night because it hurt. Anyways I have a brace on now and it feels much better. I am hoping it is just some form of stress injury and nothing permanent. Pipetting in the lab for a long time can make it very easy to have a strain injury. It could be many things but I’m hoping just a brace and anti inflammatory medication will fix it. I am also trying to use my other hand more often now to balance things out.
I successfully used the new washing machine for the first time. It was nice and did take awhile but because I had a lot to wash. Either way I think I could use this for camping too. Hopefully when my hand is better I can make some art 🙂 thank you for listening to my ideas.
I hope you have a magical day!!April 9, 2021 at 5:03 am #377401
Glad you have a J&J appointment this coming Thursday, a one shot deal. I feel much better being fully vaccinated, and you will be fully vaccinated in six days, how exciting!
Sorry your left hand is injured and hope it heals completely. When it is no longer inflamed and not in a brace, maybe there are hand exercises that you can do daily, stretch it (both hands) in certain ways so to undo the pipetting strain. Enjoy your clean clothes and have a good weekend.
anitaApril 13, 2021 at 10:16 am #377609
How are you feeling these days?
I am typing this with one hand I think I need to see a doctor perhaps. I think my wrist is out of place. I told work I am burning out so I need a change. They offered me 4 10s and 3 days off. I took it. It felt like my boyfriend didn’t understand and asked me to pipette so he could finish a project he procrastinated and I told him it is hard to pipette one handed. I worked all week one handed my dominant hand can only hold stuff but no twisting or pressure. People called out and I remained the work load was so high I felt guilty to leave or not work as hard and it felt like he had contempt in his voice when he talked to me I can’t remember what was said except when I commented on cute cat video he played in background at work and he said all of these cats are better than harry because they don’t scratch to which I replied harry won’t scratch you if you don’t keep trying to pet his belly that is his boundary but it felt mean for him to say that and lack of compassion with me injured it is almost like. he treated me like I was making a big deal out of nothing.April 13, 2021 at 1:19 pm #377626
Four work days, 10 hours a day- these are long days, especially when your use of one hand is very limited. I hope that it is a better schedule for you than the one you had.
I am sorry to read your hand did not improve and I hope that you can see a doctor for a thorough examination. Too bad that your boyfriend lacks compassion for you and for your hand trouble. You are definitely not making a big deal out of nothing, and you are doing your very best while in pain!
It seems like he is jealous of your love for Sir Harry.
anitaApril 13, 2021 at 10:38 pm #377659
I agree that 10 hours is a long day and I was doing 9 hours usually when I am scheduled for 8 so it feels like it isn’t much of a drastic change in hours in a day. I will give it a go the first time this week. I am hoping knowing I have all this time to complete my work will help me stop rushing to finish it all in 8 hours. I think rushing my body is what injured it. I did go to the doctor and they gave me a better splint. I wish I got more chores done today and maybe I can finish some in the morning. Tomorrow I am going to visit an old dear friend and it would be frat to interact with someone from roots that I trust. We just have lived far.
I guess the vaccine I was suppose to get was put on pause for blood clots but the cases seem very low.
I don’t know why he would be jealous of Harry but it seems like he just keeps messaging me every two hours kind things which I’m just confuses me on how angry I was just feeling earlier about how we interacted before. I wish to have space away from work and him and maybe have multiple days off will give me the chance to go camping. Or finish up classes. I am trying to keep hope that things can improve and I will make good choices and a part of me dreams what that would be like without this job and without this relationship. I feel trapped in it even though I know I am not.
Thank you for your kind words snot and I do hope you are feeling well these daysApril 14, 2021 at 7:09 am #377678
You are welcome. Too bad that the J&J vaccination was put on hold. I hope that the research will conclude soon, and that it will be determined that it’s safe enough. You will need a lot of patience with your hand healing. Did the doctor recommend any exercise for your hand?
I hope that soon you will no longer feel trapped at work or in this relationship. “he just keeps messaging me every two hours kind things”- what kind things/ how is he kind to you?
* Please don’t answer/ post if it strains your hand or if you don’t have the time and patience to type with one hand.