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Viewing 15 posts - 916 through 930 (of 1,011 total)
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  • #383584
    anita
    Participant

    Dear Zeeza:

    It makes sense that a pet food manufacturer will produce cat and dog food. Glad to read that your honest sharing went well. You are welcome and thank you for loving my perspective…!

    I just came back from my walk, carrying the bear spray. It tickles me every time I remember that it was you  who recommended it to me after I was confronted by a coyote March 2020. Recently I often come across fresh bear scat, including today (you can tell by the berries in it), so I know that a short while before my walk, a bear was on the same path.

    anita

    #383623
    Zeeza
    Participant

    Dear Anita,

    I am happy you feel safe on your walks and to be a support in brainstorming solutions. That is exciting I haven’t heard of the words fresh bear scat before I like it. Reminds me of a song a bear might sing in his happy ways.

     

    the post below is talking about violence in my neighborhood

    A neighbor of mine warned me there was another shooting stand off today and thankfully I was at the beach with Mango. All seems relatively calm but it is very hard to get an accurate crime map, news or anything for this area. I did find one article published about 4 different unrelated shootings on Sunday leaving 4 dead and this is all close to my block. All within a 5 mile radius it seems only one was a block away. Tuesday night I thought I heard a gunshot but wrote it off as a firework. I wished I lived at least on the third floor or something.

    end

    It is like I am trying to find my bear scat in the city. Can be tricky but hopefully moving sooner than later! I asked to apply for one place that had a grassy field park right across the street and close to a lake with a beach. It was a 1bed with an office in my price range. I don’t think I need a 2bd place but I could make one room dedicated to Sir Harry. So he can step away from puppy energy if he wants to. I don’t know but the goal is to find some place like that. It is a ground floor apartment and sometimes there can be crime there.

    I wish to live somewhere safe but that is starting to feel relative and it can be hard to know how truly safe an area is it feels like. It feels safe to live on upper floors in any city I think.

    best wishes,

    zeeza

    #383640
    anita
    Participant

    Dear Zeeza:

    If I understand correctly, in “It is like I am trying to find my bear scat in the city“, you mean that looking for a safe area in the city (no shootings/ crime) is like looking for bear scat in the city- I appreciate the intelligence behind this analogy, a good way to put it.

    I agree, safety really is relative. “it can be hard to know how truly safe an area is“- find out somehow, get the answer from police working in the area (?) Living on an upper floor does sound safer than on a ground floor. And take all the safety precautions in regard to living in a city, I remember that I sent you a website or two on the matter some time ago.

    It will get hotter Friday and Saturday this week (in the 90s), I hope you get to go to the beach with Mango again, and keep the two of you hydrated!

    anita

    • This reply was modified 4 months ago by anita.
    #383723
    Zeeza
    Participant

    Dear Anita,

    I heard gun shots again last night. I look at the crime map but I am wondering if some stuff doesn’t get called in maybe. Oh yes I remember the city article I am going to reread it after writing this post.

     

    I applied for and put a holding deposit down for an apartment complex I use to live in back in community college days. It’s like an hour away. I was so hoping I would be approved and it is in my budget and lots of trees with a washer and dryer but then I saw must make 2.85 times the rent not 2.5. if I worked more hours I would be ok. But my hours are weird sometimes split shift days depending on when data is ready.

    Today the boss cc’ed an error that she said no one else makes and probably caused a lot of problems. I explained why I thought it was correct and she said I understand but I think we told this to you before.? Honestly it doesn’t make sense science wise seems to be more of a client benefit but I didn’t argue I just explained why and that I am glad to understand but it turned into needing to be a meeting with me and two other manager. So I think I am going to be fired. Maybe not for this reason but because small reason are being looked for.

    Which makes me panic because I thought I just got a safer place to live.

    Mango has a new haircut and he looks spiffy. His ears and tail are still so long and floofy but every where else is short.

    I think I figured out why there was an energy mismatch with Mango. I kept telling myself he seems so much more of a poodle mix as a Maltipoo and his hair is much curlier and poofier and he is so much bigger and energetic and then I saw a picture of a bichone frise mix with poodle. matched Mango to a T. And explains why he is much higher energy then Casper ever was. He is so very smart and I love him. I think it is the universe way of saying you need an exercise therapy dog lol. I think I was trying to adopt a Maltipoo like Casper because the maltese are such great emotional support dogs. They love to cuddle. Mango has napped on my lap twice it is sweet! But he really isn’t much of a cuddler and Harry only wants to cuddle if it was his original idea lol.

    I am trying to stay calm but with rent prices and violence, fear of losing job, is all starting to feel like end of the world. Day by day is all I can do.

    I bought my ticket to my home state to see gram for 4 days. I promise I won’t let flashbacks win.

    I hope you are enjoying your weekend Anita!

     

     

     

    #383801
    anita
    Participant

    Dear Zeeza:

    I will be back to your thread, read and reply Sat morning.

    anita

    #383803
    Zeeza
    Participant

    Dear Anita,

    Thank you and to randomly add I think Mangos favorite thing to learn is physics. I’ll bounce three balls at a time and he loves to watch. He doesn’t trust cardboard or paper bags if a toy lands near it mostly because I don think he understands the physics of it yet.

    I’ve been tryin to brainstorm ways to engage his mind. I invited him to my lap and jumped on top and hung out for a little bit. I realize he might not be much of a cuddle bug because I do not invite him. I thought he knew it was an assumed open invitation If I am sitting but he is young and I forget how much there is to learn and hopefully can make it all fun learning.

    Best wishes

    Zeeza

    • This reply was modified 3 months, 4 weeks ago by Zeeza.
    #383809
    Zeeza
    Participant

    Dear Anita,

    There were very loud thuds outside my window. At first I thought oh maybe an animal when it was just 4 thuds then it just kept happening and mango barked and it sounded close so I was ready to take mango to the hall way or lock myself in the bathroom with all the animals but the this stopped and then got quieter like it sounded further away.

    I can’t wait to leave this place I don’t even Kno how many times that was someone outside my window at night. The two times itvhappenedy bf was here to scare them off. I know of one other time for sure when I was not fully clothed and scared me sovivdont know if it is same person. But I just heard rustles could be a rat. But the thuds reminede of someone taking a big rock and trying to drop it on something to break.

    I have too much adrenaline to sleep and I worry what if they are waiting for me to sleep. I am the only one window without bars and where my windows are there is a wall you have to climb.  People still find a way in.

    Thank you Mango for perhaps scaring them off.

    • This reply was modified 3 months, 4 weeks ago by Zeeza.
    #383811
    Zeeza
    Participant

    I am sorry I keep repeating myself lol o eoll try to sleep

    #383825
    anita
    Participant

    Dear Zeeza:

    I applied for and put a holding deposit down for an apartment complex I use to live in back in community college days. It’s like an hour away“- congratulations for doing all you can to get you, Mango and Sir Harry to a safer place! I hope your application gets approved very soon!

    Sorry to read that your boss noted that you made a significant error and that there will be a meeting between you and two other manager, and you think that you may be fired. We’ll see what happens next, let me know after the meeting…???

    Nice to read about Mango looking spiffy with his new haircut, that he is interested in physics, bouncing three balls at the same time and watching, and most importantly, that he barks at possible intruders and scares them away! “He is so very smart and I love him“- this makes me smile!

    What do you think of contacting the local police department and ask for an officer to go to your specific address, see where you live, and give you his/ her assessment of your safety, or lack of?

    Mango has napped on my lap twice it is sweet! But he really isn’t much of a cuddler and Harry only wants to cuddle if it was his original idea lol.“- cats are like that!

    I am trying to stay calm but with rent prices and violence, fear of losing job, is all starting to feel like end of the world. Day by day is all I can do“- It will be okay, one day at a time. You will figure out what to do.

    When are you traveling to see your grandmother…?

    anita

    #383831
    Zeeza
    Participant

    Dear Anita,

    Made it through the night! I will be travelling August 9 thru 13. I will write more soon. Thank you for your ideas 🙂

    Zeeza

    #383832
    anita
    Participant

    Dear Zeeza:

    I am glad you made it through the night. I want you to make it through every day and every night. You are welcome and thank you for the quick note, pass on a hug from me to Mango!

    anita

    #384038
    Zeeza
    Participant

    Dear Anita,

    Big hugs from Mango! I ordered him a cute harness that has a bow tie on the front because he can be such a gentleman.

    I was cleaning a lot yesterday and finally went to do some dishes. I did 5 dishes before getting sharp pain that made me cry. Beforehand I had vacuumed and scrubbed the floors and wherever I spilt coffee lol it happens often because Ivam not awake trying to take care of mango.

    I texted my bf who was coming over and hadn’t seen him all work week and he just messaged me back a meme about mising deceased pet and that made me cry harder so mango started barking at me.? I sat down on the floor to play fetch a bit because I thought he wanted to play

    But he ran over to me and put his paw on my chest like a hug of hey you ok right here? And was so sweet we played fetch and his silliness o couldn’t help but laugh even though I was crying on frustration. It work felt like bf was just reminding me what I am sad about instead of support but I am paranoid easily

    I stretched and my body is so tense and painful I would feel numbness in my shoulders so I got a real computers chair instead of my cheap $5  camping chair.

    The meeting with work went over well. My error was very marginal and not a true error just on the edge of what we are developing.

    I did get a call for an interview from a job a made awhile ago and never scheduled but it was like the universe saying you’ll be ok. I guess I feel like I have career success because my ideas are listened to, such as inventory organizations and team building activities, and I can work from home to care for Mango and if ivvin a pinch I know I can still get interviews. I’d say that is success even though I don’t make enough to afford a house I think that is a housing problem not a pay problem perhaps:

    Sir Harry loves to sleeps in mangos kennel house it’s funny. I made a little hideaway spot for him behind my art drawers.

    I did make some art just an eye over an old painting I did it didn’t take long but it reminds me of the evil eye or an eye of protection. Nextvi want to make power of letting go.

    In addition to a real chair I also got new shoes. I have somewhat broken sandals from mango hehe and boots that are so old they are falling apart and give me a blister. The new shoes are slip on sneakers Dr scholl brand so they will be easy to put on with my hand. I feel old lol that I look forward to little things like that and that’s ok it is something to look forward to.

    One of my close friends from childhood shared with me how hard she has been coping with stuff and I got a lump in my throat and offered any resources I could. She thinks she pinched her spine and been in constant physical pain. I talked to her about distress tolerance skills and DBT therapy. Offered to get her a haock she said she wanted but she said she has too much stuff so I didn’t push it. It just makes me sad because she is such a strong loving person teaching kids about nature as a career and covid seemed to of stripped that passion away. And self compassion she thought she needed to stop escaping and being hard on herself but I am like why do you want to escape? How can we create a safe space so you won’t want to escape?

    Also a manager at work referred to herself as having dumb brain eyes and I couldn’t notvssy something I was like no your eyes are brilliant I don’t know too many people who can do XYZ so quickly and so early in the morning and I arrive to reach that level of skills. IDK I just think clients are mean to her and that can take a toll on anyone that kind of bullying of customer service.

    Haven’t heard from new place yet if my application was approved but they are saying maybe the 6th.

    How is your summer Anita? How is the taproom and your hands?

    Best wishes

    Zeeza

    • This reply was modified 3 months, 3 weeks ago by Zeeza.
    • This reply was modified 3 months, 3 weeks ago by Zeeza.
    #384042
    Zeeza
    Participant

    Dear Anita,

    I think I get angry and jealous of my bf because of how much he can afford and then comes over and gets mad that I don’t have paper towels bit I don’t expect him to biye stuff just hard to watch him buy himself expensive knives every week an go out to eat every day while I am struggling to decide if buying a real chair is a good idea so I think I have been passive agressive in this way and he tells me what to do like don’t you think you should take your trash out and I am like of course I just can only do so much at one it is like having an invisible injury and he doesn’t understand it. So I push myself harder so he won’t have anything to say. I tell him I don’t need you to be my parent telling me what to do but I do need a help from a friend. Like today he was like don’t you think you should get groceries? And I amclikevi alreadybplaced an order for delivery and it is just frustrating. Like I need help with tasks not guidance of what to do I know what to do. But I am sharing this here so I can let go of anger and recognize how I am jealous.

    Zeeza

    #384049
    anita
    Participant

    Dear Zeeza:

    Thank you for the big hugs from cute Mango with a bow tie- I can almost feel him!

    What was your sharp pain about.. sitting on the wrong kind of chair in front of the computer for too long?

    “(Mango)  ran over to me and put his paw on my chest like a hug of hey you ok right here?“- how precious!!!

    The meeting with work went over well. My error was very marginal“- glad to read this!

    I feel like I have career success because my ideas are listened to… I’d say that is success even though I don’t make enough to afford a house I think that is a housing problem not a pay problem“- I am glad you are listened to. The very costly housing market in Seattle is indeed well-known.

    Good to read that you did some art and that you bought new, comfortable shoes.

    Your friend pinched her spine.. how? “she thought she needed to stop escaping”- stop escaping what? It’s nice that you shared with her DBT, distress tolerance, etc.! You are a caring friend, a caring employee (caring for the manger who referred to herself unkindly), and an excellent pet mom. You are a good person, Zeeza!

    Congrats for your new apartment application being approved!

    My summer is fine.. but the sky is hazy from smoke, so it seems. The taproom has been wonderful! My right hand feels fine, my left hand is still recovering, last I felt some pain was yesterday. Thank you for asking!

    I understand that your hand that got injured from pipetting in the lab is still healing, and the other that got hurt on the beach has healed by now?

    anita

     

    #384180
    Zeeza
    Participant

    Dear Anita,

    I ended up cancelling my orders for shoes chair and harness because it was being sent to my old address. The chair might be at only old place lol because they did not refund me.

    My other hand wrist is feeling better if I accidentally tap it against something it really hurts but I can hold weight better on it now.

    I am not sure how my friend injured her back on haven’t heard back from her yet but I. Worried that maybe she isn’t in a supportive environment while injured.

    It is kind of ironic because Seattle housing is a little less expensive than immediately surrounding areas. I don’t think I qualify for new place I haven’t gotten word yet. I told the landlord again how my one window without bars scared me and she offered a top floor 1bed that might com available that has 9ft high ceilings. I am sure Harry would love that and if I did go that route maybe I could pick up a bunk bed for harry or something. I feel like if I were to stay here I might sell my car.

    I leave Sunday for home state. I haven’t contacted my bro yet with details and it is a short time with Grandma.

    I was dreaming of my art business plan again and I realized I have been planning for this for years and wonder when I will just start it. There is only so much prep we can do. But having my hand is holding e back a bit because it might not be good to sit for hours drawing on my hand. I do have modification tools to make it easier. But I have become really detailed drawing real faces and I enjoy it a lot. I have a scanner and everything I need to make good prints. A bunch of sticker and marketing ideas. And I am hoping by October I’ll have it all started. If I could make a bunch of fun fall art and then go to coffee shops or cute stores to see if they want to do a ca coselling or something. I live in a city that is a great place to sell art and I can make really cool leaves that fade like the fall. I guess what I am saying as I need to make bodies of work of art for this purpose and see what feedback I get.

    I love this state and I want to be able to buy a house. Not sure what town but maybe within an hour of the city. I feel like my goal is to see how much I can make in a short time to buy a house. I don’t want to have high expectations but if I can sell a lot of originals and prints and keep the hype going maybe it could be successful.

    It would be cool to have business cards made out of seeded paper. They have seeded paper you can plant! Very cool.

    I was also thinking I could make my art show and tell stories and draw characters and that is limitless possibilities. From drawing characters of history or ghost stories or creating my own characters. I could also just tour and explore cool places in Seattle and share the adventure.

    My landlord lady also said of you call police when scared you have to say they have a weapon otherwise the police won’t come.

    Even if my art business isn’t successful it will be fun to actually start it and see where I need to grow along the way.

    It was so cute Mango talked to his toy. He had a hard time retrieving it for fetch so we helps him and we he got it back he howled at it like why did you go so far away in water toy! Mango loves running in water but not swimming as much. He can swim a little but I bet he would do better other a life jacket. Maybe make him a bit braver to swim more.

    I am glad you are enjoying the tap room!  Hope the air clears up soon. Be safe and well!

    Zeeza

    • This reply was modified 3 months, 3 weeks ago by Zeeza.
Viewing 15 posts - 916 through 930 (of 1,011 total)

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