Dear zenith:

I understand that you don’t like your mil’s ways and that you wish she wasn’t in your home. If you were a single woman living independently and alone- you’d be able to choose who comes into your home and who does not. But you are married and your husband has the right to have his parents visit him (for as long as they are not abusive to you or to your child, and you didn’t indicate any abuse), so you have to tolerate her traditional ways. Please try to be a gracious hostess for the remainder of the visit, and show your mil (and your co-sister and your husband) kindness and a generous spirt. Your husband will greatly appreciate it and by the end of the visit- you will feel good about yourself for having been gracious!

anita

Dear zenith:

“I am being gracious” – but you said that your husband told you that you hardly talk to your mil, and you said it’s true. Plus, I can’t imagine that your attitude (hating his family to the core, your words) does not show in your face, your voice, your actions. And hate… is not gracious!

Regardless, you are welcome to vent here at any time. Next time you vent- I will not give you any more suggestions and advice than I already gave you, and instead: I’ll just listen (read, more accurately) and let you know that I am reading as empathetically as I can.

anita

Dear zenith:

“it’s not like I ignore her all the time” – how/ in what ways do you ignore her some of the time?

anita