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How to accept my flaws and be myself

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Viewing 15 posts - 226 through 240 (of 266 total)
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  • #405066
    zenith
    Participant

    <p style=”text-align: left;”>There is a typo in my previous message.I am not here to rant today😂</p>

    #405068
    anita
    Participant

    C o N g R a T u L a T i O n S    z e n i t h !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    I am excited for you!!!

    anita

    #405069
    zenith
    Participant

    Thank you ❤️

    #405070
    anita
    Participant

    Dear zenith:

    You are welcome. You mentioned that you are excited and nervous at the same time. Regarding the nervous part, you can come up with different future situations at work that are likely to make you nervous, and plan now how to respond to those situations in the future. Would you like to do it here, on your thread, sometime before you start the job?

    anita

    #405237
    zenith
    Participant

    Hi Anita,

    I am nervous about going to office after a long time.I am bit introverted so meeting new people kind of makes me nervous.

    #405238
    anita
    Participant

    Dear zenith:

    Visualize your first day in the office, beginning with getting ready in the morning to driving/ getting there, entering the building, the office, etc. Visualize details while taking deeper, slower breaths. This will prepare you somewhat and make the first day less scary. You can do this visualization exercise privately at home, listening to music- or not. You can do it here, while typing away what you visualize.

    anita

    #405241
    zenith
    Participant

    Thanks for you advise Anita.I will try this excercise at home.

    #405245
    anita
    Participant

    You are very welcome, zenith, please post again anytime you need to talk-

    anita

    #406874
    anita
    Participant

    It’s a month since we talked: how are you, zenith?

    anita

    #408723
    zenith
    Participant

    Hi Anita!!Thanks for checking.I started going to office.It feels good to go back to work after such a long career gap.My boss is a good person.Some days are good and some days are bad.There is no pressure at work but it feels like my ocd is coming back again.Earlier it was religious OCD that used to bother me alot.I am becoming good at coping with those thoughts.My boss looks attractive.Now i started having intrusive thoughts against him.I love my husband to the core.But it makes me feel guilty when i have those intrusive thoughts.It feels sonreal and feel i like i am cheating my husband because of these thoughts.My boss and I are two different pesronalities and i talk very less with him.I dont cross my boundaries.Now matter how much i do the feeling not being good enough doesnt go away.Sometimes i accept these thoughts and let go of them.Other days it makes feel guilty.My life is going really good.I had intrusive thoughts my daughter was born.Then intrusive thoughts against religion.I overcame these two.Now another theme.It sucks!!

    #408725
    anita
    Participant

    Dear zenith:

    Good to read back from you and congratulations for being employed and for working in the office, so good to read this, well done, zenith!

    As far as your current intrusive thoughts: these are not your fault. There is absolutely no valid reason for you to feel guilty about these thoughts: you don’t choose them. OCD is not a chosen infliction: you didn’t choose it any more than I chose it for myself. You are a victim of a mental infliction, not an evil-thinker (or an evil-doer).

    I know how much you love your husband, how much you need him. These intrusive thoughts have nothing to do with your love for your husband. These thoughts have to do with the following principle: if a thought is scary and unwanted, if it is something you really, really don’t want to think… then you are going to think it.

    I had intrusive thoughts (when) my daughter was born. Then intrusive thoughts against religion. I overcame these two. Now another theme. It sucks!!“- you overcame this and that OCD theme, but you did not overcome OCD. New themes replace old themes, and old themes may return, depending on circumstances.

    I overcame my intrusive thoughts (of all themes) when I challenged them, saying to an intrusive thought something like: I am going to think you on purpose and nothing in real-life will happen! I then purposefully thought the scary thought… and paid attention: did anything happen as a result of thinking the thought?  I found out that really, nothing happened as a result of thinking the thought. Nothing happened. After challenging intrusive thoughts this way again and again… the thoughts were no longer scary: they lost their power. Do you want to try this strategy for yourself?

    anita

    #408726
    zenith
    Participant

    Yeah i wanna try that.These intrusive thoughts are more like sexual.Sometimes i let them be and it feels like i am fantizing more about him.When i try to sit these thoughts.I get this voice in my head you are accepting these thoughts that means you really like your boss more than your husband.Should i accept these sexual thoughts and let them be ?

    #408727
    zenith
    Participant

    Yeah.You are right.I didnt overcome my ocd yet.

    #408729
    anita
    Participant

    Dear zenith:

    When I try to sit these thoughts I get this voice in my head…  that means you really like your boss more than your husband“- it happens that every married woman has moments when she likes a man who is not her husband (as long as she gets the opportunity to interact with other men),  just as it happens that every married man has moments when he likes a woman who is not his wife. Therefore, when you like a man who is not your husband.. you are not different from any married person. This reality is not disturbing to most people who do not suffer from OCD because those moments pass. But people with OCD get stuck in those moments because intrusive thoughts don’t allow those moments to pass.

    I get this voice in my head, you are accepting these thoughts“- don’t accept these thoughts as powerful thoughts. Instead, accept them as powerless thoughts (thoughts that make no difference in real life).

    Should I accept these sexual thoughts and let them be?“- challenge their power, like I suggested. Once they lose their power over you, the question of accepting or rejecting them becomes irrelevant: these thoughts will be as meaningless or as a matter of no consequence just like to the majority of the thousands of thoughts that cross your mind.

    anita

    #408731
    zenith
    Participant

    Okay.I know nothing is going to happen because i am not at all interested in my boss.The only thing is he is attractive.As you said may i should i accept them as powerless thoughts.Thank you Anita.You have a good rest of your day.

Viewing 15 posts - 226 through 240 (of 266 total)

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