Re-submitting:

Dear zenith:

Exposure and Response Prevention (ERP) therapy, a form of Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), is “the gold-standard treatment for Obsessive Compulsive Behavior” (Psychology today), so I do hope that you arrange to see this therapist once a week, just like he suggested. It is very important that you do.

“I was doing good after the appointment. Then on 31st we had a new year party at my friends home. We were playing poker and having fun. I got back home and then started having racing thoughts that I am a bad Muslim for playing poker as it is not allowed in my religion… Then yesterday night I don’t know why I could sleep at all. My heart started racing and just slept for 3 hrs.”-

– ERP is all about slowing down those racing thoughts and racing heart. Back to psychology today, this is what it says: “Exposure and response prevention is designed to gradually reduce the anxiety that feeds obsessions and compulsions. One way in which this is thought to happen is through a process called habituation, whereby people become less physiologically aroused by triggering stimuli or obsessions after being repeatedly and safely exposed to them”- what happened on Dec 31 after you got home, is that the thought that you played poker became a triggering stimulus, which psychologically aroused you, causing you to experience an escalating wave of anxiety that caused your thoughts and heart to race.

ERP would be about exposing you to that particular triggering stimulus gradually (therefore, once a week, not 2-3 times a week), so to habituate you, or in other words, get you used to being exposed to triggering stimuli without the fast escalating anxiety.

”I got bonus at work and received appreciation messages from my managers, but still I am not happy because of my OCD. It sucks.“- CoNgRaTuLaTiOnS for the bonus and appreciation! Please attend the ERP therapy so that your life will no longer suck!

anita

Dear zenith:

You are welcome. I am so glad that you emailed him; please be persistent about seeing this therapist once a week: the therapy will work for you if you work it! I forgot to say earlier: thank you for your happy new year wish for me!

anita

Dear zenith:

I know that for your own well-being, you need the therapy that we talked about and you need to stay in the U.S and feel secure that you are staying in the U.S. not temporarily but permanently. When your in-laws visited you in the U.S, it greatly disturbed you. I can only imagine how disturbing it will be for you to live with them full-time.. in India, where the traditional role of women is a big problem for you. The first thing I thought as I was reading your update was that you should stay in the U.S.,  but then I read that your visa will not allow you to stay. Plus, of course, there is your daughter and you are not as free to do as you wish because you are a responsible mother. This is a pickle, zenith…

But then, your life so far has been a pickle (a difficult situation): your peace of mind disturbed by so many things. So, one thing at a time, or better say, one day at a time. Take on this attitude of not focusing on the future, but instead, focus on today, on this moment and the next: what small step can you take today, so to make your life better (tomorrow you will take another step)?

anita

Dear zenith:

You are welcome! I can’t believe what a positive affect this therapist had on you in such a short time! I agree with you, reads like this is a really good therapist. Yet, I am sure that some of the work will be difficult, so I hope that you persist in therapy with him. I tend to focus on the negatives, but reading how your therapist stated the positives and gave you the credit that you deserve, made me think how important it is that I (not a therapist) make more of an effort to focus on the positives and give people credit… I got a lot from your recent post, so thank you! And.. you are indeed capable, zenith!

anita

You are welcome, zenith!

anita