Oh, and thank you for the welcome!

Dear zenith:

I tried to take a nap, couldn’t fall asleep. Finding a therapist who understands your particular type of OCD is amazing, finally real help! How long did you see him, how often.. And are you still working..? I have more questions, but I don’t want to ask you too many questions, and I want you to share only what you feel like sharing, whatever it is, any topic, anything.

anita

Dear zenith:

Yes, I remember. C o N g R a T u L a T i O n S for one year on your job!

“My manager and team is great. No drama and no bullshit but the work is not challenging at all. I am scared to find another job because I am worried that I would never find such a great manager that I have in my current job“-

– my first thought: don’t look for another job because having a great manager and a great team is rare, and no challenging quality of work can substitute for it!

It’d be like.. (crazy comparison?) thinking about changing a great husband (with whom you make a great team, and with whom you have no drama and no bull***) because you don’t have particularly challenging conversations…?

anita

Dear zenith:

Seems to me that you are doing so much better, mental health wise,  and I bet that the great manager/ team at work is a significant part of this improvement. I don’t want you to change a good thing!

From knowing OCD personally, I know it’s always (isn’t it?) pointing to the negative/ to what is missing.. no matter what. I don’t want you to give up on something good just because there is something negative (or not positive) about it. (In every situation that lasts long enough, there’s something negative or something that’s missing).

“Lol. But I  always believe that a good  partner at home  and a great manager at office really makes your life easy“- your lol is making my point: you are lighter/ healthier!

“At the same time I want to grow in my career as I already took a career break of 6 years“- it’s okay that you took a break of 6 years. And you can’t make up for the past (OCD may tell you otherwise, but it’s wrong!)

“I feel like I am wasting my time at work doing nothing. I finish my work in 2 hrs and the rest of the day i sit idle“- (1) is it OCD that’s telling you that you are wasting your time? If so, see the above comment in boldface. (2) fill that idle time with something meaningful.. I don’t know what it’d be, but something for you to find out..?

(I will be away from the computer for about 3-4 hours).

anita

Dear zenith:

Good Tuesday Morning to you!

“I have social anxiety at work . I am hesitant to talk to my teammates. Fearing that they would judge my English as they all are American’s in spite of them being so nice to me. Its been an year I don’t have any friends at office. I freeze during my meetings when I talk. So I want to step out of my comfort zone and face all my fears“-

– comfort zone (online definitions): “a situation in which you feel comfortable and confident“,  “a psychological state where one feels safe, at ease and without stress.. free from anxiety“.

From the paragraph I quoted above, you experience the opposite of comfort and confidence, safety and ease, at least socially. I suppose that by comfort-zone, you are talking about the times you work alone in front of the computer, not socializing with anyone..?

“In my current job I don’t have the opportunity to face my fears as my job is to just prepare user training material (I am into Tech). I feel like I am much more capable of just typing the word document“- you may have the opportunity, in your current job, to face your social fears..?

anita

Dear zenith:

Anxiety and OCD are difficult to live with/ to manage, I know from my own decades-long experience. But considering this real difficulty, you are function very well. So, give yourself the credit that you deserve and don’t compare yourself unfavorably to other women at work, women who do not suffer from much anxiety, or OCD  (“I see so many woman around me who are managers and more confident“).

“Few months ago I told my manager that I want to work on something that is more interesting and challenging“- I am impressed that you asserted yourself this way, excellent on your part!

From what you shared, your work may get interesting in April next year, seven months from now, but until then: “I don’t have anything to do. So, I feel like I am wasting my time by being in this project“- (1)  is there any point in talking to the same manager you talked to before, the one who tried to accommodate you (“he tried to assign me some work..”)?  (“(2) what do you feel about looking for another job while continuing this one? Maybe something really good will come up, and if not: you still have this one..

anita