September 18, 2023 at 12:57 pm #422220
<p style=”text-align: left;”>Welcome back 😀!! I am doing great. How are you doing ? Good to see you on this forum after such a long time. I always login just to see if you are back. I just logged in today to check if you are back.There you go!! I hope you are doing good mentally.</p>September 18, 2023 at 1:19 pm #422221
Three days ago I sent messages to the members whose last posts were addressed to me after I was no longer a participant (Feb 17 and onward), to which I did not answer. Since your last post/ last posts were not addressed to me, I didn’t message you and hoped that you will notice that I am back and message- and you noticed! I am thrilled!!! So good to be talking to you again!
Yes, I am doing fine mentally, tired, but fine. Oh, and by the way, as a guest on the forums (after Feb 16), I read all your posts here, so I am updated with the latest that you shared here.
To read that you are doing great is making my day!
anitaSeptember 18, 2023 at 1:20 pm #422222
Oh, and thank you for the welcome!September 18, 2023 at 1:34 pm #422226
I started going to therapy. Luckily i found a therapist who understands how religious OCD works. He has really helped me on how to deal with my ocd thoughts and sit with the anxiety. It has really made a lot of difference in my life.September 18, 2023 at 2:36 pm #422227
I tried to take a nap, couldn’t fall asleep. Finding a therapist who understands your particular type of OCD is amazing, finally real help! How long did you see him, how often.. And are you still working..? I have more questions, but I don’t want to ask you too many questions, and I want you to share only what you feel like sharing, whatever it is, any topic, anything.
anitaSeptember 18, 2023 at 2:44 pm #422228
I started seeing since january. You even guided on how to to find the right ocd therapist at that time. I used to go once in a week. When i started getting better i went once every other week. I stopped seeing him since august as he told me that i am better at handling these so he told me to come back whenever i have anxiety. This august I completed one year in my job. My manager and team is great.No drama and no bullshit but the work is not challenging at all. I am scared to find another job because i am worried that i would never find such a great manager that i have in my current job.September 18, 2023 at 2:56 pm #422229
Yes, I remember. C o N g R a T u L a T i O n S for one year on your job!
“My manager and team is great. No drama and no bullshit but the work is not challenging at all. I am scared to find another job because I am worried that I would never find such a great manager that I have in my current job“-
– my first thought: don’t look for another job because having a great manager and a great team is rare, and no challenging quality of work can substitute for it!
It’d be like.. (crazy comparison?) thinking about changing a great husband (with whom you make a great team, and with whom you have no drama and no bull***) because you don’t have particularly challenging conversations…?
anitaSeptember 18, 2023 at 3:17 pm #422230
Lol..But i always believe that a good partner at home and a great manager at office really makes your life easy. At the same time i want to grow in my career as i already took a career break of 6 years after coming to us.I dont know i am bit confused. I feel like i am wasting my time at work doing nothing. I finish my work in 2 hrs and the rest of the day i sit idle.September 18, 2023 at 3:39 pm #422231
Seems to me that you are doing so much better, mental health wise, and I bet that the great manager/ team at work is a significant part of this improvement. I don’t want you to change a good thing!
From knowing OCD personally, I know it’s always (isn’t it?) pointing to the negative/ to what is missing.. no matter what. I don’t want you to give up on something good just because there is something negative (or not positive) about it. (In every situation that lasts long enough, there’s something negative or something that’s missing).
“Lol. But I always believe that a good partner at home and a great manager at office really makes your life easy“- your lol is making my point: you are lighter/ healthier!
“At the same time I want to grow in my career as I already took a career break of 6 years“- it’s okay that you took a break of 6 years. And you can’t make up for the past (OCD may tell you otherwise, but it’s wrong!)
“I feel like I am wasting my time at work doing nothing. I finish my work in 2 hrs and the rest of the day i sit idle“- (1) is it OCD that’s telling you that you are wasting your time? If so, see the above comment in boldface. (2) fill that idle time with something meaningful.. I don’t know what it’d be, but something for you to find out..?
(I will be away from the computer for about 3-4 hours).
anitaSeptember 19, 2023 at 8:23 am #422247
Hey Anita!! Good Morning. I feel the opposite. I feel like OCD is stopping me to achieve what I want. I have social anxiety at work . I am hesitant to talk to my teammates. Fearing that they would judge my English as they all are American’s inspite of them being so nice to me. Its been an year I don’t have any friends at office. I freeze during my meetings when I talk. So I want to step out of my comfort zone and face all my fears. In my current job I don’t have the opportunity to face my fears as my job is to just prepare user training material(I am into Tech). I feel like I am much more capable of just typing the word document. Its just I don’t have the confidence to showcase my skills. I see so many woman around me who are managers and more confident.September 19, 2023 at 8:58 am #422252
Good Tuesday Morning to you!
“I have social anxiety at work . I am hesitant to talk to my teammates. Fearing that they would judge my English as they all are American’s in spite of them being so nice to me. Its been an year I don’t have any friends at office. I freeze during my meetings when I talk. So I want to step out of my comfort zone and face all my fears“-
– comfort zone (online definitions): “a situation in which you feel comfortable and confident“, “a psychological state where one feels safe, at ease and without stress.. free from anxiety“.
From the paragraph I quoted above, you experience the opposite of comfort and confidence, safety and ease, at least socially. I suppose that by comfort-zone, you are talking about the times you work alone in front of the computer, not socializing with anyone..?
“In my current job I don’t have the opportunity to face my fears as my job is to just prepare user training material (I am into Tech). I feel like I am much more capable of just typing the word document“- you may have the opportunity, in your current job, to face your social fears..?
anitaSeptember 19, 2023 at 9:16 am #422257
<p style=”text-align: left;”>For me my comfort zone is just sitting in front of my computer and minding my own business. Thats what i do everyday. Few months ago i told my manager that i want to work on something that is more interesting and challenging. He tried to assign me some work but that just faded off after a while. I have another teammate who does all the interesting work so he takes care of that now. Then my manger told me to get back to the work that i am doing previously. The application that i am working on is supposed to go live this august. I waited so eagerly for this day but they postponed it to April. Once the users start using the application i will have to work on the fixing the issues faced by them in the application(more like IT support). I thought that would be some what interesting and involves more interaction. But they postponed the go live till april. Till then i dont have anything to do. So i feel like i am wasting my time by being in this project.</p>September 19, 2023 at 9:37 am #422258
Anxiety and OCD are difficult to live with/ to manage, I know from my own decades-long experience. But considering this real difficulty, you are function very well. So, give yourself the credit that you deserve and don’t compare yourself unfavorably to other women at work, women who do not suffer from much anxiety, or OCD (“I see so many woman around me who are managers and more confident“).
“Few months ago I told my manager that I want to work on something that is more interesting and challenging“- I am impressed that you asserted yourself this way, excellent on your part!
From what you shared, your work may get interesting in April next year, seven months from now, but until then: “I don’t have anything to do. So, I feel like I am wasting my time by being in this project“- (1) is there any point in talking to the same manager you talked to before, the one who tried to accommodate you (“he tried to assign me some work..”)? (“(2) what do you feel about looking for another job while continuing this one? Maybe something really good will come up, and if not: you still have this one..
anitaSeptember 19, 2023 at 9:49 am #422259
Yeah. I know i always feel proud of myself how far i came inspite of my anxiety/ocd. In the past few years i learnt driving, embraced motherhood, learnt cooking, trying to overcome my ocd then landed a new job. May be i will talk to my manager and see what he says. I can stay in the same job till i find new one. I have to learn new technology this time and switch to another job thats the only solution.September 19, 2023 at 9:53 am #422260
But at the same i regret not doing these earlier because of my low self esteem issues. I started doing all these am in my early thirties. I never thought about doing these things in my twenties. Thats the biggest regret in my life. Feels like anxiety/ocd has robbed so many things that i am capable of doing.