November 8, 2023 at 11:25 am #424873
Question today, directed to the Prosecution side: if you learn about the American culture: (1) study American movies, (2) play American games, (3) hike once a week or once a month, (3) time yourself talking and talk for a longer time, and (4) not fumble: if you achieve these FOUR things, then you will be smart, lovable and good enough?
The defense is asking this question to prosecution ?November 8, 2023 at 11:32 am #424875
Yes. The Prosecution claimed that you are inferior etc., because you are not familiar with American movies etc., so my question to the prosecution: if this is why zenith is inferior, all it takes for her to no longer be inferior is to watch and study and become familiar with American movies?
anitaNovember 8, 2023 at 4:42 pm #424883
I have an idea: when you have the time, why don’t you re-read the 32 pages of your thread, one paragraph, one page at a time, and take notes about anything that seems important: insight, suggestions, online info that applies to you, etc., and post this summary review next, or soon, so that we can both review it and figure out what’s the best plan of action to take next (in the context of self-help here, and in the context of professional therapy elsewhere)…?
anitaNovember 9, 2023 at 2:26 pm #424913
That sounds good. I will do that.November 9, 2023 at 4:01 pm #424915
I had a session with my OCD therapist today. He told me that he would still follow the ERP approach for my OCD. When i told him about the childhood trauma he told me that my brain will start obsessing about thinking what happened in the past/childhood. Its sound more likely OCD. I should follow the ERP approach and change the behaviors. I dont know if thats the right thing to do. My OCD might be genetic and blah blah. He did acknowledge about my childhood trauma but he finally told me that in my case its predominantly OCD. I told him that i want to work on the root cause of this pain and he was like if you get into that route then your brain will start obsessing about childhood trauma and all stuff.November 9, 2023 at 5:49 pm #424917
Dear zenith: I will read and reply Fri morning.
anitaNovember 10, 2023 at 9:31 am #424931
What your OCD therapist told you is very interesting to me. He thinks that addressing your childhood trauma (the birthplace of your core belief that you are ignored and treated as less-than) because he says you will obsess about it. It makes sense to me, to work on controlling/ managing OCD before addressing childhood trauma.
I am not sure then that it is a good idea for you to re-read your thread then.. If you do and you feel distressed as a result- stop the reading. I do very much wish for your brain to be calm, for that OCD to lessen and lessen…!
And by the way, you are a worthy human being, a good person: you deserve calm!
anitaNovember 10, 2023 at 1:42 pm #424938
Okay. This week has been better. I am feeling calm now after all the conflict in my mind that has happened in the past tow weeks. Your posts helped me. Like how i am overreacting and the root cause behind my reactions. Thanks for your help Anita. I appreciate it.November 10, 2023 at 7:00 pm #424946
You are very welcome, zenith. Thank you for your appreciation. I appreciate you!
anitaNovember 16, 2023 at 6:32 am #425074EdwardMatthewParticipant
Hello Rubina and Anita, Looks like you are friends i just joined this forum and don’t know where to interact hope you don’t mind. Have a good day hope you both having a good day 🙂November 16, 2023 at 6:53 am #425075
You can interact with me and hopefully with other members in your own thread which you titled New Here, a thread you started six days ago, on Nov 10. I replied to you there on that same day. In my reply to you, I asked you a question. If you choose to, you can submit a post there and answer my question. When you do, I will submit another post for you, etc.
Also, if you have any input to a member in his/ her thread (for example, this thread), you can submit your input (your thoughts and feelings in regard to what the member shared) in the member’s thread. Hopefully the member will reply to you (maybe the member will reply, maybe not), and a conversation can begin.
anitaDecember 18, 2023 at 12:22 pm #426185
How are you doing ?December 18, 2023 at 12:28 pm #426186
I am so glad you asked because I tried to submit a post for you several times but it didn’t take, for some reason, I pressed Submit and what I got was the first page of your thread. I thought about you a moment ago! I figure this post will submit because you posted first (I don’t know how tech works…). Anyway, I am fine, just had lunch, taking one day at a time. How are you?
anitaDecember 18, 2023 at 12:56 pm #426187
I am doing good ok. Just getting triggered by people and trying to sit through the discomfort. I dont know if i told you this before. My mum has anxiety. It triggered when i was in 7th grade. It was worst for several years then after my graduation it calmed down a bit. It has started affecting her again now. My mother stays in a joint family. My brother and his family has recently moved from abroad to India. He has not settled down and looking for a place to stay with family in a different city. for time being his wife and kid are staying with our parents in thier hometown. Now my mother is getting triggered by her sons and dil behavior. One day she told me that her dil is not talking properly to her and how it triggered her anxiety. On the other hand my brother is a copy print of my father. They both talk sarcastically with my mother with no respect. Now he does talk the same way in front his wife too and my mother gets hurt. It triggers her anxiety. When i listen to what she is going through. I feel like i am exactly getting triggered just like her. During our last conversation like i told you how i got triggered my what my co worker said and how my friend ignoring is causing the anxiety. I feel like i just am a copy print of my mother on dealing with emotions.December 18, 2023 at 1:05 pm #426188
I am preparing to go out and will reply further Tues morning, but for now: try to relax into the fact that there is nothing you can do about how your brother or his wife talk to your mother and how she feels about it. No point in you feeling anxious and suffering about something you have no control over. Same is true for me, and for anyone: what’s the point in suffering when there is nothing we can do to make things better in reality..?
Here is a quote from the book Untethered Soul (I didn’t read it, just happens to have this quote): “In the end, enjoying life’s experiences is the only rational thing to do… If you have to be here, at least be happy and enjoy the experience. You’re going to die anyway. Things are going to happen anyway. Why shouldn’t you be happy? You gain nothing by being bothered by life’s events. It doesn’t change the world; you just suffer. There’s always going to be something that can bother you, if you let it. The truth is that most of life will unfold in accordance with forces far outside your control, regardless of what your mind says about it”.
I’ll be back to you tomorrow.