December 5, 2018 at 7:58 am #267955
<p style=”text-align: left;”>Dear Anita</p>
New life for me means far away from this environment from all this stress .the place no body ask me are you married why you get divorced what’s happened .place I can find job and they give me chance even when I did not have job experience. And about love I think I always choose wrong persons and I can not find right person and I always just make problems .and even my family are happy I am not there and I have my own life .and I accept to be alone I feel more peace less worried as well.December 5, 2018 at 8:38 am #267959
In a world where so many people have university degrees, it will be very difficult and maybe impossible to find a city or a country that will give you a job that requires experience without experience. And when you apply for jobs, it asks you in the application to indicate your marital status. Anywhere people may ask you if you are married, if you have been married. Trying to get out of Iran, you will find Iranians everywhere in the world and I suppose they will ask you the same questions they ask you now.
It is tough for you to stay in Iran. It will be tough to get out and if you make it to a new country, it will be tough to stay, not only legally, but find work and pay rent, etc.
Reads like you are definitely not motivated to stay in Iran because of family or friends.
Question is, what is most important to you, what is your highest value, what is it you care about the most. When I left my country I cared the most about getting away from my mother. Anything seemed at the time better than living with her or close to her.
Unfortunately for me, I left but went back to visit her and had her visit me. Those visits destroyed my chances of having a good life in another country.
What is it that you care about the most?
December 5, 2018 at 10:43 am #267981
- This reply was modified 5 days, 22 hours ago by anita.
Dear Anita I understand when I am far away from my family it’s ideal for me and them .they prefer to think I am fine and safe and don’t bothering them as well for me is better because atleast no body remind me what’s happened in the past .
I don’t have kids I have one papi that I really love it but some thing happens and I forced give her to other family ،,;some times I remind her and cry for her she was my best friend and I loved her more than any thing else in this world .
But now I don’t have any thing to feel attached to him or be depended to him .I prefer my family be in peace and be happy and they be sure I am fine and safe and I don’t bothering them .so if I know they are happy fine and in peace it’s enough for me .
AnnaDecember 5, 2018 at 11:27 am #267983
You are free then, free from attachment to any person or animal (you meant puppy by “papi”, I understand)- I think attachment to people is what keeps people trapped in a place more than anything else. Particularly, it is more difficult to leave a relationship than it is to leave a country, it is so from my experience.
What kind of help are you looking for here, in context of this thread?
I will soon be away from the computer for about sixteen hours.
anitaDecember 5, 2018 at 11:56 am #267989
Dear Anita I just wanted to talk and share my emotion and talk about it . I don’t have any friend for talking about my life I can not talk with them honestly with out any fears and I really needed to talk about me emotion and get advises . Take care of your self and good luck dear anitaDecember 5, 2018 at 12:02 pm #267991
You are welcome to talk about your feelings here anytime. I understand you want to leave your country but I am not aware of the legal issues, of course. I am not a lawyer, not an immigration lawyer in any country. So I wouldn’t know. I hope you get all the information you can from reliable sources on the matter. See if there are any international or local organizations that help women in your situation. Look for information, look for resources that may be helpful to you.
And yes, do post here anytime. I will be away from the computer for about fifteen hours. Take good care of yourself!
anitaDecember 5, 2018 at 12:15 pm #267993
Dear Anita you are right I must try collect information and try for leaving here I can not see any future for myself .thank you for reading all my messages and replayed them it means a lot for me I am so grateful for all the time you spend and written messages to me thank you dear anitaDecember 6, 2018 at 6:06 am #268095
You are welcome. Did I mention to you the serenity prayer? I am not religious but I do believe in the words in that prayer: “… grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference”.
Collecting more legal and other information will help you with that wisdom, knowing what you cannot change about your life and what you can change. With that wisdom, you can aim at changing what you can change.
And you will need the courage to change what is possible to change. Post here anytime if it helps with that courage that you need and otherwise, and I will be glad to reply to you.
anitaDecember 7, 2018 at 11:05 am #268263
Hi how are yiu ? I am sorry I had flu and I was taking rest .I apply for study doctorate here and I hope i can start it .
About job the only available job is marketing that they accept with out experience andaybe it’s only way but salery is not enough . But between worse and teh wrist it’s better you choose worse
And you are right I must accept the fact of my life and understand life is not like movies that we watch I am not religious
As well but I believe Allah and I agree with you .
Thank you dear anitaDecember 7, 2018 at 12:42 pm #268283
I will read your recent post (and any you may add to it) when I am back to the computer, in about fifteen hours from now, and will reply then.
anitaDecember 8, 2018 at 6:14 am #268383
You are welcome. I hope you are recovered by now from the flu.
If marketing is the only job available to you, then I suppose, like you wrote, it is better than no-job. Regarding the doctorate you are planning on, will it be of a kind that may help you in your quest to immigrate to another country, a doctorate in a field that is desirable elsewhere and my promote your chances for a work visa to another country?
anitaDecember 8, 2018 at 9:07 am #268401
Dear Anita thanks for your care I am better now . So it’s better I try for this marketing a.d about PhD first I must pass exam and interview then I will know can I start this PhD or not but I hope it can help me but there is no guaranty for this. Dear Anita some times I really get so tired and disappointed I don’t know what to do maybe I am not firm and strong enough .I am 30 but some times I feel I am so old 60 years old or more …December 8, 2018 at 9:15 am #268403
You are probably “firm and strong enough”, but so are the challenges you have been facing for a long time. I suppose you had a bad marriage, that was a big challenge. Then getting a divorce was a big challenge, and then the societal attitudes you experience regarding initiating the divorce and achieving it, that is yet another challenge, so you are tired, understandably.
anitaDecember 8, 2018 at 9:17 am #268405
* didn’t reflect under Topics…December 8, 2018 at 9:22 am #268407
Dear Anita I can not choose right person for relationship I always used useless men and they always just hurt me.
Marriege was really horrible really horrible and divorced was better I was happy for leaving him but it really enjoyed fected me so much I was alone no emotional support and I did not talk with any body about it I just show I did not care but this divorced really destroyed me emotionally . I Sleep every night by sleeping tablet I can not sleep well with out this. I don’t have any friend and I can not trust any body