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I want to die but I love three things so much

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This topic contains 6 replies, has 4 voices, and was last updated by  Alissa 5 months, 3 weeks ago.

Viewing 7 posts - 1 through 7 (of 7 total)
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  • #146907

    Alissa
    Participant

    I need some serious help, I have written some thing like this be fore but I cant find it so, I'm asking for help again. I'm 15 year old girl and I hate myself. When I was little I loved to build forts and since my mom and dad were busy with work, I did all the lifting for building my fort, I pulled a muscle from doing that, and now I have this big bulge thing ( sorry cant tell you where ) and I hate it. I was told I was born a certain way, so now I sit side ways. If you put your hand on your left side then slide down to your waist, that's where I'm hurting, Just where the ribs end. Some thing is pushing really hard on my inside, it feels like a knife stabbing me. I also Have a swollen cheek and we don't know what it is, it is very sensitive, by touch. I'm in so much pain, A LOT, I don't know what to do,  but die, then I think of my mom and my beloved cat/dog and it makes me want to stay, BUT I'm in a lot of pain and I don't think I'll make it. My parents don't have enough money to get me cheeked out, so why don't I just go and they can save they money. ( sniffs I'm crying typing this) I used to love summer days when I was little, now I feel like I can't enjoy them any more. I feel so alone like I'm the only one of my kind, I'm so lost. I don't know what to do. I have these dreams when I was little ( SUPER scary ) I have never watch a horror movie. I'm repeating my dreams over and over some of them are really weird. My dreams are scarier then any thing I can image! I'm Sacred, Lost, In pain, Want to die, But I love my mum so much. OH what do I do!!!!!!!

    #146909

    Jaslin Martin
    Participant

    You love your mom by living. By putting a smile on that beautiful face of yours, swollen cheek or not.

    You have your mother, your cat, and your dog. You also have this amazing forum and a community here for you that will always care and love you.

    Would you rather have pain or know that your mother would cry, miss you, and probably blame herself if you were to die? FIGHT! Would you rather hear your dog whimpering, your cat hissing at everyone because they just miss you so much?

    All the pain that you are going through Alissa, that is called a breakdown. You are at the bottom of a rollercoaster ride right now but guess what? The only place to go left is UP! So move up! See the light! When you are this far in a breakdown, your breakthrough is so close!

    Think of positive “I Am” statements and when the pain comes. YELL THEM! Say them in your head! Whatever you have to do, do it!

    I am worthy, I am brave, I am courageous, I am loved, I am grateful, I am compassion, I am strong, I am beautiful, I am Alissa!

    P.S. You were born a certain way. Strong. You can withstand the pain knowing that a rainbow is on its way. Brave. You would rather go through the pain instead of making anyone else go through it. Courageous. You will lift up your chin and fight another day!

    #146987

    Alissa
    Participant

    That is the most amazing thing I have ever herd, thank you.

    #147079

    Alissa
    Participant

    But I don't Know how to live through the pain! I'm still so lost.

    #147087

    VJ
    Participant

    Hi Alissa,

    With so much of pain I can only recommend you to go through the medical way.

    Yes you do not have the required finances but you can check out for personal donation websites.

    (https://www.youcaring.com/blog/personal-donation-website)
    (https://www.youcaring.com/blog/2017/emergency-financial-assistance)

     

    There are some personal donation or fundraising wesbites on the web.

    Why don't you give them a try with help from someone.

    (https://gogetfunding.com/)
    (https://www.gofundme.com)
    (https://fundly.com/)
    (https://fundrazr.com/)
    (https://www.generosity.com/)
    (https://pages.giveforward.com/homepage/)
    (https://www.youcaring.com/)

     

    Also you will get motivated with life after reading what problems people are going through in life.

     

    Take care,

    VJ

     

    • This reply was modified 5 months, 4 weeks ago by  VJ.
    #147357

    Inky
    Participant

    Hi Allisa,

    Where in general do you live? I know your parents don't have a lot of money, BUT that doesn't mean doctors aren't willing to help you! It's called: Insurance, payment plans and charity. And there are places like St. Jude and Shriners Hospital. They help children, free of charge and pays for the family's travel expenses.

    You could also tell a neighbor, teacher, relative or clergy. They will (should!) help your parents help you.

    There is no reason for a child to be in pain.

    Be Brave! Tell others! Do this!

    Inky

    #147439

    Alissa
    Participant

    I'll give it a try………….. but my parents have to do this sing up thing and well……. I don't know

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