Home→Forums→Relationships→True Love still exist when you have faith and patience.
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October 7, 2022 at 2:34 am #408057
ThonditParticipantHey to my colleagues who had stood with me in this forum before some day back from the previous one(relationship)that went wrong.
Hey Anita, I hope you are breathing well and exist either.
Finally K is the girl I was been dating since 2015/2016 upto date, she has been there ever since I had an issue with the previous one that went south. Meanwhile the trauma was very intense then she decided to give some space to sort out myself, then later I could get back to her if I have time and also she was finalizing her bachelor degree in Actuarial Science at University of Nairobi…
Now she is finished with her studies and we dedicated to pick up from where we both paused for her finish, also she was studying we talk afte every two days,,,,, encouraging to be strong enough from those situations which engulfed me. M1 and M2, where they serious butchery to everyone. Anita knows the term of those letter represent.
Here is the dealt, while we are both on the same page now with my K for marriage arrangement,,,,, she definitely asked some very nice questions which makes me to be she is a wife Material and she promised that I won’t be like the previous one that give you hikes life experiences before.
Allow me to shared her opinions questions which has been interviewing me for a numerous of days for her to be satisfied.
First question asked was “How do you handle conflict?” And I said well as a person like me, what I do is to identify the content of conflict with your partner,,,, was it a promise you made before when u did not marry her and then you didn’t fulfill your actions? Is it a career promise too? Is it a financial crisis? Is it how you behave to her ? Is she lacking something that she need and you are not catering for her?
Does she tell you the problems of her family and don’t pick it up?
And tried to see your own reaction as a man you have contributed towards the conflict.
When you identify it , ,,, then kindly tried to withdraw your part and sort out the problem then you will be able recognize her peace and love towards you as a man.
You lead and the woman will submitted.
Without wasting energy on reading a wordy article here is her questions blow;
Do our values align?
Does our parenting rhyme or will it be full of conflicts?
Do you hold on to negative family/marital/parenting stereotypes?
Are you all talk but no action when it comes to the real deal in future?
Can I rely on you to not change but instead uphold currently shared values?
Should I buy into the notion that all SSDnese men are not reliable and I should just settle for an average home and family as he breaks every rule while I am supposed to stay faithful?
Are there negative aspects of his character that are currently hidden or that I have simply not identified well?Things like these
Hey Anita and everyone shared ideas regarding those questions and remembered I have answered them amicably from the way her heart was yearning for. And I love the she was open up to be to freelance and speak to me.
And in case you guys are interested to see my response feel free to request them.
However, our both parents gathered together about the negotiation price of the girl and they will be continuing with it for a week then they proceed to village for dowry payment.
Looking forward hearing from you guys.
Regards.
Gregory.
October 7, 2022 at 10:14 am #408067
AnonymousGuestDear Thondit/ Gregory:
Not long ago (perhaps a couple of months ago), I sent you an inquiry post on one of your older threads, hoping to read from you again, and this morning, it happened: I am reading from you again and it is a delight!
“Hey Anita, I hope you are breathing well and exist”- I am breathing well and I still exist, thank you.
You and K, the pretty woman in the photo and the mother of your second son, took a break from your relationship while she finalized her bachelor degree in Actuarial Science (a discipline that assesses financial risks in the insurance and financial fields, using mathematical and statistical methods) in Nairobi, Kenya. The two of you are now talking about marriage and K has been asking you questions/ interviewing you (so to assess risks… true to her chosen career as an Actuarial Scientist…). You like the questions she asks you, and it makes you think of her as indeed “a wife Material”.
Her first question was “How do you handle conflict?” Your answer: “identify the content of conflict with your partner“- excellent, Gregory. Lots of people start arguing without even identifying what they are arguing about! I like the rest of your answer and I am not surprised you give good answers, Gregory!
I read her other questions: “Do our values align?“, “Does our parenting rhyme (align) or will it be full of conflicts?“- excellent question. I wish all people who consider marriage and children would ask these questions! Here is another question I particularly like: “Are you all talk but no action when it comes to the real deal in future?”
I hope that K is asking and answering these questions and that you ask her questions that come to your mind. “And in case you guys are interested to see my response feel free to request them “- you are welcome to share your responses, I will be interested in reading them.
“However, our both parents gathered together about the negotiation price of the girl and they will be continuing with it for a week then they proceed to village for dowry payment“- it is interesting how the Modern and the Traditional come together: her studies in Nairobi are very modern, her questions are modern and traditions are still very much a part of life in Sudan (where you still live, correct?), ex., negotiating over the price of a bride and paying dowry!
“Looking forward hearing from you guys“- I am excited for you, Gregory, about you and K getting married and parenting your son together, maybe your first son will live with you as well, if that’s what is best for him… I hope to read from you again and again, looking forward to read about your upcoming marriage!
anita
October 8, 2022 at 5:58 pm #408199ThonditParticipantDear Anita
How have you been today?
As you requested how I responded her questions. Go through blow.
Thank you for your kindness questions that you ask and allow me to quote them here
Do our values align?
Yes they do aligned with similarities below;
1. You are Caring and soft-hearted. U are really soft hearted, I mean, u care for people I don’t even know, and u care about other people’s needs over your own, sometimes to the extreme though…..u have been under my observation.2. You are intelligent and I’m. U don’t sound arrogant to others but u really smart, like, u only.
3. You have a sense of humor and I do. I know that sounds cliche, but senses of humor are severely lacking in our world, especially self humor, my sister says it’s good to make fun of yourself sometimes, it gives you perspective.
4. Considerate. Again, not trying to sound arrogant, but u have a tendency to put others ahead of mean, for no reason.
5. You are a good listener, I mean, even though u ’ve been going through ur own struggle with dilemma, u ’ll happily stop to listen to your troubles and see the need of someone who need your consent.
U ‘ve a hrt of humanity through trying to give a love to someone that really want u in his life. U support others, u are an extremely loyal person.
“Does our parenting rhyme or will it be full of conflicts?”
Our parenting doesn’t rhyme but practically I have learned how to lived with different perpetrated people on earth. I believed I will continue to love you, even if it happen to divorce me and come back for me, you will always have a room or chance to come back to me and still love you till the day I kiss the cup of death.
You say again will it be full of conflicts?
My answer is No.
I’m not a fan of conflicts.
Do you hold on to negative family/marital/parenting stereotypes?
Apparently at my age mommy, I’m not an importer of words and I don’t run away from family affairs. If there’s any problem between the family I take a initiative to solve it.
Are you all talk but no action when it comes to the real deal in future?
I optimistic to put myself into practice and demonstrate my promises and words into action.
Can I rely on you to not change but instead uphold currently shared values? As my wife you are absolutely have right to rely on me.
So long I have chosen you as my wife , perhaps there’s no any obligation of not relying on me as your husband.
Should I buy into the notion that all SSDnese men are not reliable and I should just settle for an average home and family as he breaks every rule while I am supposed to stay faithful?
Not all men are in the same oceans neither the girls too. Me personally I’m self-reliance. I’m more serious with our relationship and I’m done that I don’t need anything again further. I’m settle
Are there negative aspects of his character that are currently hidden or that I have simply not identified well?
In case I hide myself then you can still trace it out later and time will tell out.
Things like these
Do you know why everyone like me most?
I’m not superman mommy but I tried to be unique person.
*I’m just a normal guy but what makes me special……. is trustworthy, you can trust me with not only your future but your life too mommy*!!! I’m hard working, self-reliance and confident in my abilities to succeed.
October 8, 2022 at 6:03 pm #408203ThonditParticipantA continuation of reading
It is fine with me, this will wake me up if if there’s anything I could make of forgetting in our relationship we are in.
Do you know y everyone likes me and they want to stay with me?
I’m always honest and always tell things how I sees them.
Now there are few people who tells truths and no matter the consequences.
I don’t color my words to make a person happy when it is not truth.
*I sometimes quarrels with people telling others lies, as a human being bite a bullet and tell the truth because truths hurt but I highly respect* myself for just doing that.
*Many families are breaking up today because of lies and cheating*. Lies are *very sweet to hear but much more dangerous than truths which are bitter but healing!*
For that one reason among many I always cling to you not only as a wife to me but a bestfriend to me also a brother to me too.
I choose to always protect you from both men and girls who are out to play with your time and wasted your focus.
If I was a girl like you, I would not be simply jealous, I would fight you to own Gregory as mind alone bcoz I really don’t like telling lies to make a girl happy.
But because I’m not a girl like you , that’s when you won’t know who Gregory is! When it comes to dating database.
October 8, 2022 at 6:07 pm #408208ThonditParticipantDear Anita, it is 3am here and I will be away from the computer for about 8 hours from.
I will respond to you when I return to the computer.
Sincerely
Greg
October 8, 2022 at 8:04 pm #408227AnonymousGuestDear Greg:
You are 9 hours ahead of me, so it is now Sat 8:04 pm my time and it is Sun 5:04 am your time. I read some of the questions and answers but I want to be more focused when I re-read and reply, which will be tomorrow morning (in about 11 hours my time). Good morning to you, Gregory… good night to me!
anita
October 9, 2022 at 8:51 am #408234AnonymousGuestDear Greg:
You are welcome, as always. Here is the list of questions and answers (I will summarize/ rephrase some of the answers so that it is simpler for me to follow):
Q-1: Do our values align? A-1: Yes they do aligned: 1. We are both caring for, considerate of, and soft-hearted about other people. You care about other people’s needs over your own, sometimes to the extreme. 2. We are both intelligent but not arrogant. You are really smart. 3. We both have a sense of humor, which is severely lacking in our world, especially self-humor: making fun of oneself. 4. We are both good listeners. Even when we’re going through our own struggles and dilemmas, we’ll happily to stop and listen to each other. 5. We support other people and we are extremely loyal.
Q-2: Does our parenting rhyme or will it be full of conflicts? A-2: My answer is No. I’m not a fan of conflicts.
Q-3: Do you hold on to negative family/marital/parenting stereotypes? A-3: At my age, I don’t run away from family affairs. If there’s any problem in the family, I take the initiative to solve it.
Q-4: Are you all talk but no action when it comes to the real deal in future? A-4: I am optimistic about my ability to put my words into practice and demonstrate my promises through action.
Q-5: Can I rely on you to not change but instead uphold currently shared values? A-5: As my wife, as the woman I choose to marry, you can absolutely rely on me!
Q-6: Should I buy into the notion that all Sudanese men are not reliable, and I should just settle for an average home and family as he breaks every rule while I am supposed to stay faithful? A-6: Not all men are in the same ocean; neither are the girls. Personally, I’m serious about our relationship and I’m done with other women: I am settled with the woman I choose to marry.
Q-7: Are there negative aspects of his character that are currently hidden or that I have simply not identified well? A-7: If I hide myself, you will be able to find out later, and time will tell.
Q-8: Do you know why everyone like me most? A-8: I’m not superman, but I try to be a unique person: I am trustworthy. You can trust me not only with your future, but with your life! I am hard-working, self-reliant and confident in my abilities to succeed.
Q-9: Do you know why everyone likes me and they want to stay with me? A-9: I’m always honest and always tell things how I sees them. There are only a few people who tell the truth no matter the consequences. I don’t color my words to make a person happy when it is not truth. I dislike lies so much that I sometimes quarrel with people who lie. * Many families are breaking up today because of lies and cheating. Lies are very sweet to hear but much more dangerous than truths, which are bitter but healing!
Also: I will always cling to you, not only as my wife, but as my best friend and brother. I’ll always choose to protect you from people who may want to waste your time and focus.
My comments: excellent answers (I like them all) except for A-2 and A-7: you did not answer Q-2, and your answer to Q-7 is unsatisfactory. (The concern in Q-7 is that the man is hiding some negative aspects of himself, and the woman wants to know what these may be before the marriage).
“If I was a girl like you… I would fight you to own Gregory as mine alone bcoz I really don’t like telling lies to make a girl happy”- this is cute, Gregory.
Did you present her with questions too, the same questions perhaps… and who is currently taking care of your two children?
anita
October 9, 2022 at 8:25 pm #408261ThonditParticipantDear Anita,
Good evening and sleep well dear.
I’m so glad and excited with the way you definitely like my answers and I would like to request from you to answer me Q-2 .
And however, Did you present her with questions too, the same questions perhaps… and who is currently taking care of your two children ?
Yes I did and she promised to take care of them without mistreating.
Regards.
Gregory.
October 10, 2022 at 7:53 am #408268AnonymousGuestDear Gregory:
Thank you for wishing me a good evening and that I sleep well. I wish you the same (it is 4:45 pm in Sudan right now). And, I am very glad that she promised to take care of your children without mistreating them!
Regarding Q-2: Does our parenting rhyme or will it be full of conflicts?. – First, I am glad that the two of you agree that parenting must not include mistreating the children. I suggest that you talk and become clear about all the specific actions/ behaviors that constitute mistreatment, so that when you live together and parent your children together, the two of you will be a united front in regard to accepted actions and behaviors. For example, I hope that the two of you agree that the action of yelling at the children (except for emergency situations) constitutes mistreatment, and is therefore not acceptable parental behavior.
anita
anita
October 10, 2022 at 7:54 am #408269AnonymousGuest*Ooops, ignore the second me, lol
October 17, 2022 at 10:31 am #408610AnonymousGuestDear Gregory: I am thinking about you and hoping that you are well!
anita
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