Tiny Buddha's Guide to Loving Yourself

40 Ways to Transform Your Inner Critic and Your Life

Feel Good About
Yourself & Your Life


What people are saying

Jonathan Robinson

“Loving yourself is the foundation for finding inner peace, happiness, and the ability to love others. In this wonderful book, Lori Deschene does something remarkable. She makes the topic of loving yourself come alive in a way that is both highly entertaining and very practical. This is one book that shouldn't be missed.” —Jonathan Robinson, founder of FindingHappiness.com and the author of Communication Miracles for Couples

Karen Salmansohn

“ You have to love yourself to love other people and your life. In this powerful collection of stories and insights, Lori Deschene and other Tiny Buddha contributors share how they overcome shame, insecurity, and perfectionism to help you do just that. I highly recommend Tiny Buddha's Guide to Loving Yourself to anyone who needs a little help recognizing their worth and potential.” Karen Salmansohn, bestselling author of Prince Harming Syndrome

Kristin Neff

“This wonderful collection of personal stories and words of wisdom will help you become kinder and more compassionate to yourself, and ultimately show you how to lead a happier and more fulfilling life.” —Kristin Neff, author of Self-Compassion, Stop Beating Yourself Up and Leave Insecurity Behind

Priscilla Warner

“We can all feel broken, wounded, and alone at times, but never while reading this beautiful, wise guide to taking good care of ourselves. Some of us need permission to do that. All of us can find inspiration and powerful lessons in Tiny Buddha's openhearted, generous community of teachers. I'm so grateful to have found them.” —Priscilla Warner, author of Learning to Breathe: My Yearlong Quest to Bring Calm to My Life

Amanda Owen

“Reading Lori Deschene's wonderful new book, Tiny Buddha's Guide to Loving Yourself, is like listening to a good friend who reminds you of who you are when you need to hear it the most. Deschene and her contributors write about real-life situations with real-life solutions and they do it with the same unflinching honesty that has made TinyBuddha.com so popular. If you are ever hard on yourself—and who isn't—you need to read this book.” —Amanda Owen, author of The Power of Receiving

Praise for Tiny Buddha:
Simple Wisdom for Life's Hard Questions

Gretchen Rubin

"How can we find happiness and peace—right now, right here? In her engaging, thought-provoking book Tiny Buddha, Lori Deschene explores this enormous question to help readers grapple with challenges like money, love, pain, control, and meaning, in order to find greater happiness." —Gretchen Rubin, author of The Happiness Project

Mastin Kipp

"Lori is one of a kind. Her amazing heart and wisdom shine through in everything she writes! I am a HUGE fan of Tiny Buddha and I'm constantly inspired by Lori and her work." —Mastin Kipp, founder of The Daily Love

Jonathan Fields

"Tiny Buddha is a moving and insightful synthesis of evocative stories and ancient wisdom applied to modern life. Great read!" —Jonathan Fields, author of Uncertainty

Neil Pasricha

"There's nothing tiny about the extra-large dose of awesome stuffed into Lori's writing. Read it and feel good about the world." —Neil Pasricha, founder and author, 1000 Awesome Things, The Book of Awesome

  • Gabrielle Bernstein

    "I spent months retweeting posts from a mystery handle called @tinybuddha. I wasn't the only one: Hundreds of thousands of people followed the daily messages. I was intrigued and made it a point to meet the woman behind the message. Today Lori Deschene is a friend and fellow author who spreads truth and inspiration throughout the twittersphere, her blog, and now her new book! Lori has shifted the energy of the Internet with her loving daily posts and now she is sharing more with the world through her incredible book Tiny Buddha!" —Gabrielle Bernstein, author of Add More -ing to Your Life and Spirit Junkie

  • Soren Gordhamer

    "Few people in our time have more passionately or more creatively applied wisdom teachings to a new digital generation than Lori Deschene. I am continually inspired by her writing, and also by her sincere dedication to learning, growth, and wisdom. I feel tremendously fortunate to have had the chance to get to know her work through Tiny Buddha, and to know her as a person. Both embody the same essential truths." —Soren Gordhamer, founder and author, Wisdom 2.0

  • Margaret Roach

    "Lori Deschene doesn't claim to be anybody's guru. But it's that lack of pretense and her total candor—how she tells her own often-wild story without flinching—that is so magnetic, inviting a sense of ease with our own wrinkles, too, and fostering a sense of personal possibility. As she asks: Are you ready to be free?" —Margaret Roach, author of And I Shall Have Some Peace There


About the Book

Tiny Buddha's Guide to Loving Yourself book cover

Since 2009, more than 1,200 people have contributed stories to Tiny Buddha, many exploring their experiences in forgiving, accepting, and even celebrating who they are right now.

What's striking about the posts people share is how brave they are in acknowledging the feelings and experiences many of us might be tempted to hide. Once one person has put it out there it's so much easier to admit that we've been there too.

It's a tremendous relief to realize that whatever we're feeling, it's okay. We're okay. We don't have to fight it. We just have to acknowledge it, try to understand it instead of judging it, and then use that understanding to grow through and beyond it.

Tiny Buddha's Guide to Loving Yourself is a collaborative effort, including 40 blog posts from tinybuddha.com, for that reason. So much of our resistance to loving ourselves has to do with shame—the thought that there's something wrong with us for what we're going through.

These posts have reminded more than 1.5 million monthly readers that we are never alone, and we can change our thoughts and our lives. They touch upon ideas that will help you:

  • Release shame about your past and the limiting beliefs that keep you stuck
  • See yourself as beautiful and valuable, with all your flaws and weaknesses
  • Accept yourself more and judge yourself less
  • Forgive yourself for your mistakes and stop being hard on yourself
  • Minimize the need for approval to feel more confident
  • Let go of the comparisons that keep you feeling inferior
  • Feel complete so that you no longer look to others to fill a void within yourself
  • Find the courage to share your authentic self for deeper connections with others
  • Learn to take care of yourself instead of putting everyone else's needs first
  • Believe that you're valuable so you can start creating a life you love

The stories are categorized into 10 chapters, connected to each of these themes. At the end of each chapter you'll find four tips—one from each of the four posts in that section. They're ideas you can turn to whenever you need help changing your thoughts, and consequently, your feelings and experience of the world.

That's the point of this book. It's not about 40 simple action steps to change you life; it's about 40 simple ways you can change your mindset right now.

That's what changes our lives: doing our best right now, and as best we can in the nows to come.


About the Author

Lori Deschene

My name is Lori Deschene and I'm the founder of Tiny Buddha.

When I was younger, I felt chronically stressed. I didn't realize that underneath my anxiety was a web of other painful emotions—insecurity, inadequacy, inferiority, contemptibility, and by far the most crippling, shame.

I thought I was miserable because of difficult circumstances that I felt convinced I couldn't change. In response to feeling powerless, I focused all my energy on fighting, starving, binging, drinking, and finding new ways to numb myself—which only strengthened all those feelings that I didn't know were beneath the surface.

A self-defined victim, I blamed other people for everything that hurt in my life, and in the process hurt other people. After years of living like a human tornado, it felt best to move away and keep to myself. It was safer that way—for everyone.

By my mid-twenties I found myself working in NYC as a part-time telemarketer, and living a solitary existence in a 7'x'7 dorm-style apartment, where cigarette butts and bottles of booze outnumbered the countless bed bugs and cockroaches.

I felt stuck in every way possible—stuck in my fearful isolation; stuck professionally, since I had a degree in acting and writing, but no confidence to pursue either; and stuck in a dangerous week-to-week living situation because I couldn't afford anything better.

Worse, I felt convinced I deserved the life I created. And I wasn't sure it was worth the effort to work toward something better. If the past were any indication, I'd find a way to mess it up.

Depressed, despondent, and dramatically reclusive, I couldn't foresee a future that didn't involve self-loathing and self-destruction.

But one day I found a quote that changed my perception of myself, and my potential future: "Life is 10% what happens to you and 90% how you react to it."

When I read that, I realized I'd lived my whole life reacting with anger to things that happened when I was young, and feeling ashamed of that. I considered that maybe I could respond better from that point onward and feel proud of myself for doing it.

Maybe my life wasn't the sum of my hurts and mistakes. Maybe instead of judging myself for where I'd been and feeling down on myself for where I stood then, I could empower myself to create something different from that moment forward.

Since that powerful internal shift, I've made many external changes, from starting yoga and eventually quitting smoking, to leaving NYC and creating a blog to help others.

But the biggest step in my self-love journey has been embracing the idea that I won't always feel good—about myself, or life in general.

Just as before my epiphany, there have been times when I've felt strong, and others when I've felt weak. Sometimes I've felt self-assured, and other times, insecure. And in spite of the things that have made me feel proud, I still have moments when I feel ashamed.

This is what it means to be human. We can either judge and berate ourselves for having highs and lows, or choose to accept ourselves in spite of them—if not in every moment, on the whole.

We will inevitably hurt in life, but we don't have to so frequently hurt ourselves in response. I hope this book helps you see and treat yourself differently—and live life differently as a result.


7 Reasons to Buy Tiny Buddha's
Guide to Loving Yourself

1. The book features 40 candid firsthand accounts of overcoming physical and emotional challenges...

...including abandonment, abuse, addiction, depression, eating disorders, and obsessive compulsive disorder, to name a few. If you've feared that no one can understand or relate to your pain, this guide will help you realize that you are not alone.

2. You'll find practical tips to help you deal with a wide range of issues related to self-acceptance and self-love...

...including insecurity, perfectionism, jealousy, shame, self-judgment, rejection, confidence, self-care, and the fear of being alone.

3. It's Tiny Buddha, off the web.

You could spend time searching through the archives for posts related to loving yourself, and then print them out for reading at home. Or you could purchase this book to have all those stories in one anthology—complete with summaries of the main insights and a collection of related quotes.

4. You'll find a story from my experience in overcoming shame, self-loathing, and self-destruction.

I've never before written about my former battle with bulimia. In addition to exploring the lowest point of my struggle, I shared the main message of hope that's helped me forgive and accept myself, and not just survive, but thrive.

5. The book is easy to read—at home or on the go.

With 40 stories in 10 chapters, you can easily read one story each night before bed, or jump around to the sections that feel most relevant to you. And with its compact size, it's easy to carry in your bag or purse for a boost of clarity and confidence, wherever you go.

6. Tiny Buddha's Guide to Loving Yourself has received wonderful advanced reviews.

As author Amanda Owen wrote: “If you are ever hard on yourself—and who isn't—you need to read this book.”

7. It's a tiny book that can have a massive impact.

Despite its small size and short stories, this guide explores feelings and challenges that could potentially limit your potential for peace and happiness—and also offers some powerful, effective practices to overcome them so you can feel good about yourself and your life.


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