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RandyG

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  • #125892
    RandyG
    Participant

    Anita…….Thank you!

    I believe the question of “is this a place for me?” is on its way to a resounding yes!

    That being said, I do acknowledge, not just the guidelines and “rules” that this forum holds dear, but the rules that we as human beings should hold dear when ever communicating to one another, respect, admiration, open mindedness and honesty, while being sensitive to what others just might be experiencing, even though we are not.

    I would like to suggest this discussion be closed, and a new one be started, one entitled, “I’m Emotionally Sensitive, and proud of it”

    Beach was awesome by the way!

    #125881
    RandyG
    Participant

    Thank you VJ!
    There is an incredible amount of sincerity in the words you have written. To answer if I have tried, and I apologise for not being clear previously, Yes. My search that has drawn me to the places I mentioned also meant that I actively participate in the rituals. Actively meaning, not just “go through the motions” but truly try to understand the power that these people believe their actions of remedies hold.
    Now, lets be honest….men have a “humility gland” buried somewhere in there bodies that I am certain if doctors knew where it was, many wife’s and girlfriends would ask to have it removed, if nothing more than to get them to dance! Some men’s humility gland is much bigger than others and there fore getting them to preform EFT’s is well difficult.

    One has to consciously believe that what ever action or remedy they are about to pursue will work, if not then the sub conscious doesn’t stand a chance at implementing it. And the sub conscious is truly, in my belief, where we want the “tool” to reside.

    I can admit, that there are a few EFT’s I have tried, (the 5 finger touch) that works for me in times when I need to relax. Now regardless is it is the actual action or the defining moment that came to me in the temple of monks where I was taught the method, the calming effect happens. Is the memory of that experience, sitting quietly with the monks in the mountains in North Vietnam triggered by the connecting of my fingers, absolutely it is, however, it is not to say that the actual touching is also not playing a very important role in the calming effect.

    When people search for guidance, we have many options available to us. Reaching out to friends and family, seeking wisdom here on social media, attending professional work shops and counsels, or we can look deep it the world around us. My strong suggestion is balance! do a bit of everything until you find that technique, backed by that defining moment that truly gives it power.

    Anita, we all and I mean everyone on this planet have something to share with one another, I also believe we all have something to gain. Have spent many years “searching” for something, looking in many corners of the earth. What it was I was searching for when I started out, I did not know. As I traveled I learned. Learned that there was so much I did not understand, so much I was taught through my cultural community that now needed to be questioned.

    My ES aided me in so many ways on my travels and yet I kept thinking it was a burden, often to great to carry. So am I here to share wisdom…..I struggle with that word for there is a fine line between wisdom and belief, but if I can share even the slightest experience that triggers another into creating that defining moment, then awesome. If on the other hand, someone else has the same to offer , which I am most certain they do, and I can benefit from their “wisdom”, then……isn’t this a fantastic world we live in!

    VJ, you are right, being ES is in no way a disorder or mental illness, it is very much a personality trait, one to be proud of! It is, as I truly believe, a personality trait that can, if allowed manifest a host of other social blocking issues. Bottom line is the something wrong with people that are ES, or is there something wrong with a society that is full of negativity, full of hurt and dispassion, a society that preaches health and safety and yet goes out of its way to do just the opposite?

    Recently, social media has been littered with “Positive thinking” ….Guru’s if you will. I can honestly say there is one common phrase that keeps appearing, promoted and encouraged by many that is the finger nails on the caulk board to people with ES…..”I don’t care”!
    well, my humble response to that is……I do care! and yes maybe I care too much, funny how “Not caring” is a good thing and “caring too much is bad in todays society isn’t it. But I do, and I am very proud of it!

    In Thailand, there is a saying often spoken by the Thai’s when your opinion does not match their opinion, and I use it quite often when speaking to people that promote “don’t care”, and that saying is “Up to you”!

    Its a beautiful Sunday morning here in the land of smiles, and I will say cheers for now, as I want to take my wonderful lady for a walk on the beach! Have a great day!

    #125840
    RandyG
    Participant

    Hi VJ
    Thank you for joining me here.
    I guess there are many ways to describe us, HSP (highly sensitive people) and ES (emotionally sensitive) in my thinking would be in the same classification, that being said, each and everyone of us are different and so regardless of the name we chose to call it, its the effect that is the most important.

    I do find the term “empath” fascinating, as being an empath you know all too well you are affected by other people’s “energies”. Thus this gives you an innate ability to intuitively feel and perceive others. These energies also unconsciously influence your’ desires, wishes, thoughts, and moods.

    Being HPS/ES in my belief automatically gives you what would be described as “Emphatic” abilities and I would be happy to explain why I believe that to be. But can I first disclose something that I feel is important. Having travels to 31 countries on a pursuit of understanding “Beliefs” I discovered 2 major things…..One, they are extremely powerful to those that “believe” and two there are as many beliefs in this world as there are opinions. One persons or cultural belief is not necessary another’s but like opinions everybody has the right to theirs.

    The reason I say this is to answer your “techniques and methodology” question….have I tried EFT, there are tribes in Africa where I visited that use different EFT’s for not just healing, but to “speak to” their deity. In Madagascar, EFT’s are believed to heal cancer and other serious aliments. In the jungles of Cambodia EFT’s are believed to ward of evil spirits and Thailand and Myanmar a form of EFT is used to bring calm and peace to ones mind by allowing the internal energy to pass from one side of the body to the other.

    I am sure there are many more applications where EFT’s are used and each and every time I see the use of them and ask “why” the answer boils down to the same…..the people applying it…believe it works.

    As for any other healing techniques, I am not too sure I can honestly answer that correctly as I truly believe there is nothing to heal. Now if you were to ask me if I have discovered tools to use in my defense on emotional sensitivity, well the answer would be yes, a great many. As mentioned earlier, ES people like me have, what I believe very clear indicators of their ability. One of them is when the mind races so fast, that when you close your eyes it seems as if a million pictures flash through your mind. This event is like a super computer searching for a specific topic or image without knowing what it is looking for. Controlling it takes practice but is achievable. Some might call it mediation, but it is not, for meditation allows the mind to wonder and that is the complete opposite to what I need to do. I have created an image in my mind, one that allows me to focus on it while lacking any detail. Its a flame of a candle. Not the candle, just the flame on a black back ground.

    Closing my eyes, I concentrate on that flame as the barrage of images flood my mind. at first the flame is barely seen, but after a few minutes forcing it to come to the surface, all other images and thoughts vanish and I am left with only the flame. It is from there that I can then think clearly and rationally, bringing into focus my thoughts and my feelings.

    But of course, I have yet to discover something I can do that would provide the same results while in a social gathering, clearly sitting in a room full of people who know nothing of ES with my eyes closed and in a trance like state would question my “sanity” in their eyes.

    Oh and VJ. drinking Chicha from the jungle tribes in the Amazon to allow one to speak to the spirits……yea, messes with your thoughts in a big way!….no hang over though!

    Please, do share with me your techniques as I am in constant learning!

    Regards
    RandyG

    #125837
    RandyG
    Participant

    Oh and my apologies for misspelling, and grammatical errors, I tend to type my thoughts far to fast…..another ES trait I believe. A tool for that is called “Spell Check”…..lol

    #125836
    RandyG
    Participant

    Understood Anita, and again thank you!

    “Mingle”…..lets loom at a box of “Smarties” as a reference, there are people out there that enjoy every flavors. and there are people out there that enjoy most flavors with the exception of a few however will not neglect the others, then there are those that will only find enjoyment with one flavor.
    In life there are situations when we have the choice in picking the ones we want and there are situations when we need to accept all. Work verses play for example, in a working environment, we are forced to deal with the varying “flavors” of emotional state people present even those the taste is extremely fowl to us.
    In play we carefully pick the ones that please us and therefore enjoy.

    Having “a bigger tool box” is in reference to gaining emotional abilities or an understanding of developed skills in order to manage better our interaction with those we find challenging to our emotional sensitivity. Walking away is not a tool in this context, where as learning to rationalize the situation would be.

    As an ES’er, I have come to learn the first tool I required was not just the knowledge, but the belief that being ES is not an illness or a flaw, but an asset. One that in reflection of my wild and crazy lifestyle has brought me huge success. Had it not been for my ES, I am very certain, I would not be here. Specifically I mean my nervous systems ability to react not only faster but more accurately in times of distress (not meaning in social events, but in lifestyle events), was the reason the outcome of a great many situations I found myself in turned out positive as apposed to negative.

    In converse to that, although I feel I am well educated, and have gained a considerable amount of professional experience in my field of work, it is my ES that causes me problems when associating, or “mingling” with other less professional people in my work environment….

    #125834
    RandyG
    Participant

    Bang on Anita!…Thank you!

    Being selective in my (our, in reference to other ES’ers, if you’ll allow me) day to day interactions with people, real or virtual has truly become a way of life. Virtual often feeling far safer than reality.
    It does however hold its surprises when suddenly we find ourselves in a place where that interaction far exceeds our ability to cope and it those times when the emotional sensations tend to overwhelm the rational thinking.
    Trust me when I say, there is no place for abusive behavior in this forum or in life, for we are all people simply trying to find our way. Having people such as yourself interact with us in a safe and positive manor is exceptional indeed, and for that I thank you very much, I do however realize time, being yours, is extremely valuable and do my very best to limit my request for it. Therefore lets acknowledge that this forum is like a journal, with the intent of being able to write honest, yet positive thoughts with the possibility someone, be it yourself or others just might respond when they can, if that’s ok?

    LOL, trust me when I say this, I have learned all too well to protect my self, and it is that “shield of protection” I believe has gotten out of control for it no longer just protect me, it isolates me!

    What do I believe is the relationship between my “HS” and “anxiety”…… two very specific behaviors of People! Please allow me to emphasis that, its the behavior of people and not people them selves for I know all too well behaviors are created by circumstances. Like clothes people wear depending on the weather outside, so to can their behaviors change depending on the environment they face. Its the behaviors of lying, cheating, hurting and falsification first and foremost trigger my “ES”. Secondary to that are those that dwell in negativity, while doing their best to pull others into that dark world.

    People that hold behaviors of honesty and sincerity and caring are ones I have absolutely no anxiety with, quite the contrary I enjoy being around them, conversing with them and can spend hours with them sharing stories of life. Sadly, my perception and experience of our world is there a great many more of the first and second group than there are of the third. So, in order to be able to “mingle” I feel I need a bigger tool box!…..how that?

    #125829
    RandyG
    Participant

    Thank You Anita & Peter!

    Anita, I very much appreciate your quires in my original post. Validating ones needs as well as ones intentions I feel is important if they are to become part of a “social community”. Like many ES folk, I have recently read about we often find ourselves wondering if we really belong anywhere, which rationally I know to be nothing more than a negative thought brought about by my “sensitive nature”. Still there are times when the stimulus of people sharing their stories can become so overwhelming that I personally feel responsible, even though, again rationally I know I an not.

    Defining the difference between “thought” and “feeling” in a contextual aspect is easy. Where as thought is an idea or opinion produced by thinking or occurring suddenly in the mind. and feeling is an emotional state or reaction brought about by one or more of the human bodies senses (Sight, hearing, touch, taste or smell). My understanding of this, and please correct me if I am wrong, is when feelings generate an emotional thought in such a manor that these thoughts flood the mind and linger long after the stimulus (sensation) has been removed is where the story begins with ES people like my self.

    Being ES, is not an illness, or a disability as much as it is a heighten sense of awareness. LOL, a so called “super power” if you will. Managing this “super power” is the challenge and I believe it needs a teacher. Although I have learned a great many things about my ES, being self taught, there are still a great many more I simply can not understand and therefore seek guidance.

    My original self diagnosis pushed me toward a great many forums and even physiological therapies, however not really understanding what it was I was experiencing, I ended up in the wrong places making my ES come alive even more! So I have learned to be careful when approaching groups designed to assist people in life simply because, as an ES’er ones desire for assistance can be our Aconitum!

    As there is no “illness” we are dealing with, there is no need for a cure! What I believe is required is an education in how to live a better life, a more productive life….and a more peaceful life as an ES’er. Certainly reading well crafted books is a start in understanding ES, but I am also certain, there are creative and positive experiences other ES’ers have that can be shared to assist their peers in reaching that goal of a great life……and that my Dear Anita is why I ask…..Is this a place for me?…..the answer I now believe is……It could be?….of course that’s my ES talking!

    #125789
    RandyG
    Participant

    Most certainly Anita, and thank you for asking!
    My use of the word perplexed is I guess in essence meaning “confused” however there are many aspects of ES I believe I understand and yet seek clarity for others.

    My mentioning “working together” is simply a statement in which people contribute equally or at least try to offer both insight as well as experience, if that makes sense.

    And sadly Anita, the “others” are the great many people I have come to know and worked with that suffer from a variety of “other” mental challenges and not ES. You see, as an ES person, we tend to forgo our own “mental management” when we believe “others” are in greater need….which ironically many of us believe is everyone.
    ES is not depression, although depression is quite often a outcome of unmanaged ES. Nor is it RAD, ADD, ADHD, or any of the other nerological challenges faced by so many. ES is simply a highly functional nerve system that picks up on even the subtlest negitive impulse…..so you see Anita, I simply want to know if this is a forum where we can talk about ES, while allowing those facing “other” challeges to let’s say, more emotionally managed personalities to offer assistance…..I truly hope that explains it in the sincere manor in which I intended it to be?

Viewing 8 posts - 1 through 8 (of 8 total)