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  • #105619
    Tamara Nicole
    Participant

    Hey everybody! I have a slight problem. I am a little antisocial. Usually I will not talk to anybody unless they talk to me or unless i have no choice but to talk to them. Which is why i really don’t have many friends at all. I get along better with guys than females but i feel like i could really use some more female friends. But its so hard for me to actually communicate with other females. I feel so awkward in social situations. If I’m with somebody that i know and feel comfortable then I’m great but in a crowd of complete strangers i feel so weird. Like for example, my boyfriend is a socialite. Everybody knows him and he is the life of the party and when we go out he’s socializing and i don’t want to have to cling to him because that can get annoying. (he never complained about it but i don’t want to do that to him). What do I do!? How can i get more female friends? Ones that i can connect with??

    #105644
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear Tamara Nicole:

    I wouldn’t call you “antisocial” because you have a boyfriend, and you socialize well with people you are comfortable with. You feel awkward in social situations with people you are not comfortable with especially with women. Am I correct so far?

    You asked how to get more female friends, ones you can connect with. Well I am female. Let’s connect, shall we?

    anita

    #105702
    Theresa
    Participant

    Hi Tamara, I feel your pain. I too have had struggles with connecting with females, and most of my friends are male. I am married and my husband is much more sociable than I. So believe me, know how you feel.

    As to your question. I would begin with the females in your circle of friends. Perhaps the girlfriends or wives of guys you are friends with. If your boyfriend has friends, surely some of them have a female partner. Since you already have a connection with them through your boyfriend, this would be a great place to start.

    As an introvert, I know it can be difficult to take the initiative and start the conversation. Keep in mind that people inherently like to talk about themselves, this is especially true of most females. So, when you engage in a conversation with a female, let her do the talking. This will help take the pressure off of you. Start by asking a basic question and then let her take over. Ask about her life, job, hobbies, etc. This technique is one of the central tenets of the bestselling book “How to Win Friends and Influence People.” You will make more friends, more quickly, by showing and interest in them, rather than trying to make them interested in you. Once a connection is made I am certain she will take an interest in you too!

    You will have to step out of your comfort zone to do this. But, I believe you can do it and that you will be successful in connecting with a female in the near future.

    Kindest Regards,

    Theresa

    #106490
    ChoppingBoard
    Participant

    Hi Tamara,

    I too find this difficult too. Most of the guys at work I can talk very freely with but the woman, some are very difficult. You would think having a common interest like work and children this would be easy but sometimes its just uncomfortable.

    I love my own company but lately would like to have more female friends to go out with, learn something new. There are various websites that are for finding friends but my experience of them lately is that after a certain point, money is needed or some men just want me to talk dirty to them. (laughs)

    I find that little steps in talking to people has helped. Like Ultimatelife, talk about things that interest yourself and see there is a common interest, if not try and find out what their interest are too.

    I have found in the past that some people are just very hard to talk to, there is no connection and this is really ok. You will not find a common interest in everyone. Do not feel this is a negative against yourself.

    All the best and always here is you need to talk.

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