Hello! I’m a big fan of the site – been tremendously insightful as of late.

I have found myself in a position where two dear friends of mine are going through their own separate hard times. I myself am struggling with my own happiness in my personal and professional life. I feel that I have a handle on things, but am always seeking improvement.

My concern is my two friends – one is struggling depression after a breakup, and the other is trying to find the root of the frustrations in her life surrounding her marriage. I’ve spent time with both of them listening to their concerns and worries, trying to ask questions to help steer them towards answers, and have been working on being careful to not suggest solutions or to assume that I’ve been in the same spot or understand how they feel. With full disclosure, I share what’s been happening with me (they also ask me how things are going), but try and do it so maybe they don’t feel like the only one who is dealing with frustration, anxiety and stress. Both are seeking professional help, I did myself earlier this year as well, but there is no clear end in sight for either one of them.

My concern is that between being supportive of them and their efforts to get to a more stable place emotionally, is that I’ll forget to take care of myself and in turn become less helpful to them. It is important to me to be able to help them. How do I keep from getting burnt out from being some form of emotional support? Could it be as simple as communicating that – I want to be supportive but I don’t have the bandwidth for it today and need a break?

Thanks!