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Society and romantic relationships.

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  • #81119
    Josh
    Participant

    Hey everybody,

    Am I the only one who thinks that we as people would not suffer so much over relationships and sex if it wasn’t forced into every facet of our lives? I for one am very guilty of taking the bait that you see all over t.v. and the internet. I actually find myself believing that i’m inadequate because I lack sexual prowess, or that I’m less of a man because of these things.

    It seems like you get it even worse on the internet. All of the “dating advice” you can find basically states that the opposite sex is just like common machinery. Just take the correct sequence of actions and you’ll get the desired outcome. I refuse to believe that human beings are that simple; it’s almost like an insult to women (and men) to claim these things. In fact I believe that women get it even worse. Every time i’m in line at the store and see an issue of cosmo on the magazine rack, it just screams “you are worthless as a woman because you’re fat and you don’t do sex good enough”!!!!!

    I just don’t know. I feel like I have never known, and that makes me very uncomfortable. I’m not naive enough to believe that society is to blame for my shortcomings, that would just be foolish and irresponsible. I do believe that I bought into it all though. I believed all the lies about how the guy who gets the girl is somehow better than the guy who doesn’t. I’ve had loving relationships in the past but somehow I still choose to believe that i’m unworthy sometimes. I started an awesome spiritual journey a few years ago and I have learned so much about people and how to love them. What I truly want out of life is to tap into the BIG love that we all share as human beings all involved in one life. The problem is that in spots along the road I still find myself slipping into self pity because I feel like the whole rest of the world is telling me I better start having more sex and relationships or i’m never gonna be happy. Anyways how do you guys deal with societies pressures? I’d really love to hear the experiences of people who have learned to break out of the grain and blaze their own paths to self love and happiness, rather than striving for what the t.v. told them they should have

    Peace and love 🙂
    Josh

    #81136
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear Josh:

    TV, magazines and societal conventions and beliefs passed on from parents to offsprins and of course MARKETING in all these things causes a lot of misery to a whole lot of people. Feeling less than because one does not drive the cool car or truck and who does not reach the Americal Dream of family and white fence and what not and so much more in addition to what you mentioned. The amount of BS in marketing infiltrating all facets of life and inflicting so much pain is of massive amounts, repeated and you can see it anywhere and everywhere. Seeing the truth and seeking the truth has to include seeing the marketing/ societal conventions/ societal shoulds for what they are. The love for what is true has to include evaluating everything people say, accepting nothing on face value and deciding for yourself what is true. there is so much BS everywhere that one has to have a “Beginner’s Mind.” Seeing the bare minimum of what is, that is peeling off what is false.

    anita

    #81154
    Laurie
    Participant

    Hi Josh,
    I saw your post and what a coincidence that you should write about this. I have teen/preteen kids and therefore spend a lot of time listening to pop music. Today, I found myself thinking – wow the messages in this music could put a lot of pressure on people, even the good songs. I think noticing the unrealistic messages in pop culture is probably the first step to taking away the power of these messages.

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