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Anonymous.
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August 4, 2015 at 2:36 am #81186
Aide FernandezParticipant…AT THE MOMENT I AM SITTING HERE AT WORK… WORKING THESE LONG OVERNIGHT SHIFTS… (I WILL NOT STATE MY PROFESSION; AS I DO NOT WANT TO GET ANY BAD NEGATIVE COMMENTS)
I’VE BEEN WORKING AT THIS NEW JOB FOR ABOUT 7 MONTHS… AND I CAN SAY THAT I AM NOT SUPER HAPPY ABOUT IT… A LOT OF THINGS HAVE CHANGED FOR ME AS AN INDIVIDUAL AND IN MY PERSONAL LIFE… I’VE BEEN TRYING TO LET THIS JOB CONSUME ME INTO NEGATIVITY, BUT IT’S HARD WHEN YOU ONLY GET ABOUT 4-6 HRS OF SLEEP EACH DAY… YOU THINK YOU’RE GOING TO LEAVE AT 6 AM, BUT YOU END UP STAYING OVERTIME UNTIL NOON… THIS HAS BEEN GOING ON FOR ONLY ABOUT 3 WEEKS… I CAN’T SEEM TO GET USE TO THEM…
I’VE BEEN LOOKING AND HAVE APPLIED TO COMPLETELY DIFFERENT JOBS. I HAVE YET TO HEAR BACK FROM ANY OF THOSE.. PEOPLE TELL ME THAT I’M YOUNG AND THAT I CAN STICK AROUND HERE FOR ABOUT A YEAR OR MORE… BUT THE THING IS THAT I AM UNHAPPY HERE… I FEEL LIKE THIS IS A COMPLETE WASTE OF TIME… I JUST SIT HERE AND DO NOTHING… ESPECIALLY AT NIGHT… MY THOUGHTS GO ON AND ON.. RAMBLING ON ABOUT THE NEGATIVITY AND HOW UNHAPPY I AM.. NOT TO MENTION MY HEALTH AND HOW BAD IT HAS GOTTEN…
COWORKERS ASK ME IF I LIKE THIS JOB… I CAN’T HELP BUT LIE TO THEM AND LET THEM KNOW THAT I HAVEN’T MADE UP MY MIND JUST YET ABOUT IT; BUT I KNOW IN MY HEART AND MIND THAT I AM UNHAPPY.. I JUST CAN’T BRING MYSELF TO TELL THEM HOW I TRULY FEEL OR LET THEM KNOW THE FACT THAT I HAVE BEEN LOOKING FOR SOMETHING ELSE… I GUESS I AM AFRAID TO KNOW THAT PEOPLE WILL JUDGE ME FOR NOT GIVING THIS EMPLOYMENT A SHOT…
I TRY TO TELL MYSELF THAT IT’S MY HAPPINESS NO ONE ELSE’S, BUT THE FEAR AND ANXIETY IS MUCH GREATER THAN ANYTHING… IT’S LIKE NO ONE SEES IT AND AT TIMES I WONDER IF I’M THE ONLY “NEW” WORKER THAT FEELS THIS WAY HERE…
August 4, 2015 at 7:17 am #81196
AnonymousGuestDear a2fernan:
You wrote that you will not state your job because you don’t want to get negative comments. You also wrote that you are afraid that people at work will judge you for not giving this employment a shot.
You are very afraid of what people think of you, don’t you? That they will think of you negatively, judge you negatively? This is a difficult burden to carry and it results in anxiety. I believe I know how difficult it is to do what you are afraid of doing, it is like going to the dentist when your tooth aches but you are afraid of the pain at the dentist office. So if you don’t go, the tooth pain will get worse and you may need a whole surgery instead of a filling.
If you tell a co worker (choose one you feel the least scared of), you will be scared as you express your true emotions about the job (like being at the dentist office) but after you tell (after the visit to the dentist) – you will feel much better, relieved, liberated.
Right now it is like you having a tooth ache and it hurts and hurts and hurts. Going to the dentist would mean first, share your true feelings with a co worker, then maybe plan on quitting the job. But one step at a time.
anita
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