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Yet another breakup story..with some repercussions.

HomeForumsRelationshipsYet another breakup story..with some repercussions.

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  • #64988
    Naomi
    Participant

    I broke up with my boyfriend of 3 years and 8 months before the summer. He was an amazing man, sincere, ambitious, romantic… he was 8 years older and we started talking when i was 16. Our relationship accelerated and we were going too too fast. I felt so guilty all the time and i blamed myself for it. He would never see the essence of what we did as anything.. The majority of our relationship was long distance save the year and few months he moved to the same city. He then applied for school across the world.

    I was friends with his older sister before i met him and i knew that breaking up would not only be a blow to him but to her.. it might risk our friendship. When i couldnt take it anymore i called him and that was that. I called his sister the next day and she was fine with it… and i was relieved. Until an exchange of words with my family that changed it all. She wanted nothing to do with my family, she wanted to end all interactions and a week later she and her husband decide to put their house on sale. I cannot avoid her until she moves.. and all our interactions are awkward and tense. She was like an older sister to me and her actions have been disappointing.

    After all this i still love him and care for him but i knew that i could not continue to be in this relationship. i always felt like i owed him for all that he did and that the love i had was not genuine but out of gratitude.

    This has been a very hard few months as she looks and avoids me like i have leprosy. How do i train myself to move on and keep my head high?

    #65137
    Flower
    Participant

    she needs to separate your relationship with her brother and the friendship she has with you, and also the actions of your family are not yours either. if she is not willing to do that or see that then she sadly maybe she doesnt value your friendship past a “sister in law” status.
    may i ask what does your entire family have to do with the friendship between you and her? was the altercation to with the break-up or her.

    Perhaps you can have a sit down with her or text her to express how much you value your friendship with her. that you are sad and affected about the end of the relationship and although you do love her brother it just couldnt be? and can she separate your friendship from your relationship?

    if you have come to the point where you dont want to try to work on the relationship with her further, first recognise what you could have done better and know within yourself that you will work on you. and forgive yourself. like this you will have the inner strength to move on, head held high 🙂

    Good Luck

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