Sometimes honesty is harsh, and I wouldn’t have taken the time to write all of that if I didn’t believe in you and your situation. I’ve loved dearly and deeply a sick person that didn’t want to change, and it hurt me worse than anything in this world to have to go on without them, to wait for them to decide to change on their own while praying for God to heal enough of them that we could go on together. I loved this man with all my life, and he wasn’t good for me, and it took another year of learning to compromise and communicate and set/expect standards to do it.

I had to draw a line of what was okay for myself to accept. “I will accept him yelling and cussing at me if he apologizes genuinely when he’s not spiraling. I will never accept if he one day hits me, and will walk out the same night.”

“I will be calm when he tells me about his problems, instead of jumping to try to fix them and encourage him. This week, I will be the kind of person he can tell anything to, and I’ll be more gentle in my per-destined guidance.”

It’s okay to bend a bit for someone who is sick, for the greater good, but never let your most inner values be trampled on. Draw a clear line for yourself. God be with you, and him, and for you both to find your personal peace.