Hi Anita,
Thanks for writing. You are right on dot when you said i shouldn’t feel alone – that’s what I feel, I feel like I have to handle this pain by myself and it’s difficult for me to go through it every few days over and over. I did bring up few times with my therapist but no positive response I got just nodding, hence stopped bringing it up. I felt like I am feeling something wrong..but the attachment is so strong and drive to live a good life is so strong that I kept going back.

Anyhow, regarding the feeling, in my body i feel so much pain especially in my stomach like someone is stabbing me, my heart feels empty – hollow..and i feel lot of self-doubt like i’m nothing, no one likes me, i am not capable and so isolated, like i don’t deserve any love. Sometimes when I cry I ask for help – may be to God to protect me , to help me..I guess, i wanted reassurance that i’m safe, i’m ok for who I am..

I can stay with the pain now as been there many times but not sure how to pull myself up effectively..

Thanks again for replying-
-S