Wow, I didn’t even think I had mentioned the worst of it! The article was basically saying, if I can remember, that to accept the fact that parents are human and make mistakes, and that it can sometimes be best to forgive than to hold resentment. I definitely struggle with this. I can be a grudge holder and rehash things in relationships that aren’t important. When I said I had a good upbringing I did mean material things, yes. Toys, food, nice house, vacations. As far as what I did, it was not much besides staying out late, finding out I had a boy in the house on one occasion even though nothing happened, nothing major though. During college breaks I would do a little more like end up staying out all night but she knew this was because I was choosing not to drive. Overall I struggle to think of more examples because I was never in trouble with the law, didn’t do drugs, got into a good school, and eventually had a couple decent jobs.
I guess she thought I was disrespecting her by not taking her advice and I began to yell back at her. It just really felt like I could never win. I struggle with the idea of cutting her off now for a few reasons. I have a sister who felt the same way I did growing up, she now has 2 kids who my parents treat like gold. It’s very strange. She believes my mom had a hard life too and tries not to blame her, although she can also only take her in small doses. When we do family holidays it really does seem like everything is fine. A lot of people love my mom because she is very fake to everybody else! I am afraid of what aunts, uncles, cousins, and my niece and nephew would think if I wasn’t around.
Also, since my separation my parents have helped me out financially with loan payments and I fear losing that option. Although it does feel like it comes at a cost definitely. At the moment I have been ignoring her when she sends a rude text and I don’t voluntarily call. Do you really think it’s best I stop all contact?
Thanks,
Gigi