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Reply To: Fear of intimacy

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#102148
Anonymous
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Dear B:

Sounds like a decent guy from your description. I don’t think you have enough information so to evaluate his previous relationship and draw conclusions from it. I think that your terms of attachment types may be doing you some disservice since people are often not this type or that type. A relationship between two people affords many variations to be considered. I would stick to basics of human behavior: People do not want to get attached and then rejected, as simple as that. You don’t want to get hurt, this is your main motivation.

If I was you, i will use this opportunity to learn more about myself and about him. i would get curious more than anxious, focus on learning instead of expanding in hopes for love and contracting in fear of rejection.

It is not easy, but if you re-focus on learning, again and again, this may very well be a good opportunity for you!

anita