Dear sam1:

You had one date with him. You had strong feelings about him, about a future relationship with him. He said he had a great time and would like to see you again.

All your thoughts and feelings about him since the date were your own, all happening in-between-your-ears, literally, while what was happening in between-his-ears was not the same. That is certain. You were wishing and hoping and ready to attach and he was not. This does not mean there might not be a relationship with him in the future. It means he didn’t share your thoughts and feelings. He had his own that didn’t fit with yours.

This is a very important point to consider: when we feel so much and wish so much we tend to believe the other feels this way too. It is a distorted thinking category called Emotional Reasoning: we want something so much, we imagine it is happening.

Pay attention to this in future interactions with this guy and with others in the future. It will bring you clarity and wisdom.

As to this guy, possibilities are he had an emergency and that is why he didn’t respond to your last text. Or he has been so involved in a family function, a party, another girl. Or he doesn’t care any more, that when he told you he had a great time and would like to see you again, that was a social-lubrication type of lie, something he says almost automatically at the end of a date, as if it is something a man is supposed to say. These are some possibilities that come to mind.

Thing is don’t get attached to your own thoughts and feelings imagining another is thinking and feeling the same (Emotional Reasoning)- be open to possibilities and be curious to know what is really happening.

It is possible that he forgot or does not intend to have the second date with you. It is possible he remembers. I would text him a few days before the planned date to verify, letting him know that if he does not respond within 4 hours or so, that you will make other plans. Then follow through.

anita