Dear helen123:

I like your list, clear and straight forward. Your chances of finding a good enough match following your guidelines above are way, way…way better than if you follow the past guideline: will my parents approve of him?

Very clear. Regarding physical attraction, if the man is not clearly unattractive, it is possible to feel attraction on a second, third… later date, do you think? If so, I would give it a few dates.

I like honesty very much. Over time you can learn this: does he take responsibility for his wrong doings or does he blame others time and time again. You can learn that from how he talks about others: are they always the ones at fault and he is the eternal victim? And then you can learn this aspect when there is conflict between the two of you.

Hard working, bold and yet kind hearted. I like these too. Now, how are you going to go about meeting men to study and evaluate? Maybe online dating? If so, you can write your profile there indicating what you are looking for, basic things about you, and then have access to men to study and evaluate. Again, it is taking the active approach and you do need to meet men. If online dating or another dating service is something you will consider, there is a way to do it that you can decide on ahead of time, so that you start with a useful and doable strategy.

What do you think?

anita