Hello,

It seems to me that you are both stuck in an awful vortex and replay the same patterns over and over again, and keep hurting each other. It’s easy to get stuck in one when you are in love, and everyone else sees it but you.

When I was in this kind of relationship years ago, and I tried every possible approach, and just couldn’t find a solution… The best words that reached out to me were something my philosophy professor said during a class ‘Sometimes when situation is tangled and things get too complicated, maybe the best thing to do is to let it go… In time it might ‘untangle’… And it was exactly what happened.

You are both probably emotionally exhausted, distrustful toward each other, and loving each other (as i have witnessed) is not enough. Do not get preoccupied with ‘forever’, concentrate on ‘now’. Now you both need to get better as individuals, because if you don’t, you definitely won’t be good for each other. Nothing is written in stone, so taking a bit distance in order to breathe might be beneficial.

He needs to find help for his depression, therapy and most of all, to do his own attempts and researches how to get out of it. As much as you like to help, trust me it’s not up to you. You are not trained to help him. Some people are more sensitive and more prone to it, outside factors definitely can be trigerrs, but we can’t change the world around us in order to get better. We should change the way we deal with the world. It is a process that needs accepting the situation without fearing it, soul searching, figuring out the core of the problem, changing the chemistry in the body and brain by nutrition and exercise, spending more time in nature, cutting toxic people… etc. Constantly blaming the girlfriend is not in any ‘manual’ out there.

I hope you’ll break free from this vortex, calm down, get some perspective, before you move forward, whatever that means…Don’t forget, in order to get different results than before, you need to apply different actions than before…