Melusina- that is a tough situation to be in and many of us know the feeling.You said something that interested me- that you could not change her until she was ready to change. That is true. I wonder if that is part of the friction. That statement indicates that maybe you have tried to change her to no avail, and that can be frustrating and energy zapping! While you cannot change her, you absolutely can change the way you react to and perceive her. Making some tweaks may allow you to create boundaries and still keep the friendship, if that is what you want. I have done this several times and I have also let go of several friends whom I felt were not supportive of my endeavors. If you think the friendship is worth saving, making tweaks and setting boundaries may help. One boundary I set with a family member is that every time she starts to complain about another family member, I gently remind her that I am not going to listen to it and if she wants to continue on, I will end the call and talk to her another time. It works very well 🙂 Good luck in whatever you decide.