Dear J:

I wouldn’t tell people in church- none of their business anyway. Coming to think of it, it really is not your mother’s business either. It is your right to do in your life what you value, what you dream of doing, what you choose doing. When you tell your mother, make sure you are not telling her with a question mark at the end, that is: don’t ask her, just tell her. It will take courage.

Maybe you can tell her: “Don’t try to talk me out of it. Don’t tell me it is not a good idea. For once don’t encourage me to doubt myself.” and then tell her. Or you can write her a note if you are too scared to talk to her??? (and write/ tell her to not involve the church people with this!)

anita