Thanks. Maybe I am a fool, but I just can’t logically explain it. I just want to hold her in my arms and hug her and comfort her. Being with her brings a feeling of oneness, of deep caring about her wellbeing. It hurts to see her hurt. The thought of maybe having another shot fills me with hope, something I have not felt in a very long time.

In searching my thoughts as far back as I can remember, have never experienced this before.

I wish I was better at expressing this to her without seeming clingy or possessive or obsessed with her or just looking/sounding like a babbling idiot. To demonstrate that I am not just blowing smoke, that I really do care.

It’s not pure physical attraction or similar. I do find her beautiful, but it is not an attraction like that. We have all been there. As funny as it sounds, my first thoughts with her are about getting to know her more, and exploring thoughts, emotions, etc. Would find it just as pleasurable to spend an evening talking and being together.

Things feel like they are aligning a bit. She is looking for a different job. That would solve any conflict issues. She told me that she feels a part of an older generation, I feel that way too as I was raised by a previous generation.

She told one of our office folks that she doesn’t like people at the moment. I have concerns about that, but, I have been there too. One of the guys a coworker tried to set her up with was recently charged with criminal offenses. Ditto for another guy that one of her friends tried the same thing with. No wonder. I bet they all said they were different too (and, well, some of them weren’t really lying as they are very different).

The good thing about that is I don’t think that she has replaced me with anyone.

Is this the chance to show her that I am not like all of the other rejects that have been in her life? She asked me to wait, perhaps she wasn’t lying? Does it show trustworthiness to have waited and not pressed her?

I texted her about how stressed she seemed, and heard back. Offered to call this weekend and talk, and she accepted. Perhaps this will demonstrate that I am willing to take time to be with her, on her terms, if only telephonically.

I wonder if she has ever had a relationship with someone who genuinely cared about her as a person, and not just as a conquest? I wonder if she tries to manipulate as a means of attempting to protect herself?