Aislynn and Anita,

Thank you for your responses.

Well, I’ve started this, typed that, deleted it and started over a couple of times. 🙂 I appreciate your questions so much, I’m thinking about a whole bunch of things now.

Aislynn. Job-wise, he is well-known within the industry and someone that is approached many times by other places of employment. So I don’t think it is a matter of finding a job and quite possibly, not a matter of salary either. I’m thinking it is a difficult decision for him because this job WITH this company…he has had for almost 19 years and is really the only job he has ever held. Not a sure-thing but pretty close to it. We are both at an age that if he is going to switch companies, now is the time.

I have no problem with looking for a job. Availability of part-time employment within school hours, now that’s a challenge. I have a degree that I can do something with online from home. It would be a first for me so yes, a challenge in many ways. Freelancing and not having that guarantee when you go to a job with posted hours…it will be a switch. I’ve entertained the thought of it over the past 3 years, seems that now I’m in a place in my life that I’m ready to tackle it.

Yes, I’m feeling some resentment towards his job. 18 years and we’ve moved a total of 7 times. His traveling with work has increased instead of decreasing. I have boxes that I don’t bother to unpack, pictures I don’t trouble myself to hang. His job has provided a lot for us and I am grateful for that. Just weary of moving for it. And perhaps that’s where I need to redirect my thinking, in thinking that we are moving for his job. It would be so nice to have a conversation with the kids about something in the future that doesn’t require “…if we’re still here…” statement at the end. My thoughts about staying? Before all these changes came up in March, we were planning on being here until the kids were finished with high-school…at the very least. We enjoy the area, it feels like ‘home’ to us and its so nice to feel like part of a community instead of feeling that we’re only visiting.

Anita. Whose benefit? Sometimes I think we psyched ourselves into thinking it would be best for our family…provide longevity in an industry that has a history of layoffs and forced early retirements. However, there’s no guarantee in any industry. I’m not sure what his anxiety with work is distracting him from but the workaholic bit was modeled to him by both parents. As I typed that…here’s what popped into my mind: His anxiety may stem from not having control over the uncontrollable. Perhaps he keeps himself busy enough so he doesn’t think about that….just a random thought that has come up.

A year ago, we moved out of the ‘executive’ lifestyle. Yes, it is something we can both do but neither of us really enjoy it. It simply isn’t “us”. This position he is in currently….is executive. He has gained weight, dark circles under his eyes, misses us within an hour of having seen us because he knows it will be another week before he sees us again and living out of a different hotel every week can be stressful.

As every parent does, there are things we want to do differently than what our parents did with us. On his side: work was always chosen over family/commitments. On my side: obviously; not repeating the physical, emotional and mental abuse from my mom. Hubby is the analytical, logical side of the coin while I’m the emotional, philosophical side of it. As a result, sometimes we balance each other out and sometimes we simply don’t understand the other one. We’ve both experienced amazing support from each other that we haven’t experienced within our families. Having said that, I wonder if now I need to support his growth in a different area of his life instead of his career?

To me, the answer is obvious that we need to stay put for a while. I need to think on this, come up with more questions for myself and also to pose to him so he thinks as well. Nothing in life is completely ideal. I just don’t feel that it has to be a choice between professional and personal life, as he has pretty much stated (Personally he’d rather stay here but professionally the other town).