Dear Chau:

How I wish I could make you believe that you don’t deserve to be punished. You had a difficult childhood and that is probably why you remember so little of it. You were shamed, probably at home which is why you were so timid at school. If you lost control of your bowels one time, I am supposing it happened because you were too timid to ask to go to the bathroom?

I was shamed many times as a child and therefore I know shame very well. It cuts deep inside. It makes us no longer be on our own side, no longer operate for our own benefit. Makes us punish ourselves for being so… shameful, so deserving of condemnation and ridicule.

I am so sorry for your suffering. And I know you can heal because I am healing myself. You can too and I can’t wait for you to experience more and more well being. I think psychotherapy with a competent, empathetic (!) therapist, like the one I had for two years 2011-2013 will help you a whole lot!

anita