Dear Chau:

I wish you luck in finding a competent, empathetic therapist, one who will not be directive but help you build confidence in your own ability to think and figure things out. And the therapist needs to be sincerely empathetic, can’t compromise that because you need to have faith that the therapist is interested in your well being, that is, being on your side.

So interview a potential therapist, look for her/ his views on homosexuality, for one. Pay attention to her/ his response as you ask this or that question.

You were timid as a child to ask for help because I am guessing you were alone a lot of the time, alone with your feelings, with your need for help, guidance. Maybe you were even punished or somehow discouraged from approaching a parent with your needs. So you were afraid to do it in the classroom as well.

Take it easy on yourself, as easy as you can. You are overwhelmed. Placing any kind of pressure on yourself when you are overwhelmed is counter productive. Rest and relax best you can.

And post again and again, I hope.

anita