Dear elm0505:

Well, I hope he understands that he is indeed disrespectful by the look you gave him. I hope he connected the fact that you are experiencing a death in the family AND that look FOLLOWING his singing.

A death in the family, when unexpected is shocking. Here is a living, playing, laughing young man, and suddenly… gone. Permanently gone. Making one wonder: is this all? Is this all life is, here one moment, gone the next and the world acts as if nothing happened…?

The other day I walked, my regular walk out and I had this image that one day this road I am walking on will still be here only I will no longer be walking, no longer to visit it ever again. It is mind boggling, to know. Animals who cannot think, who don’t have the language, they are lucky that way.

The following is my thinking that may not fit you to engage in, so please don’t. On the other hand it may be fitting. Do what is right for you, please:

From reading a previous reply you posted on someone else’s thread, I got the impression that you were not a happy person, before your brother’s death. Sometimes siblings take opposite niches in the family. If one is the Responsible one, the other is the Irresponsible; if one is the Sad one, the worrier, the other takes the available Happy-go-lucky opening. Do you think that happened in your family?

anita