Dear neng:

I re-read all your posts on this thread, trying to understand your situation. These are my thoughts:

You invested a lot in this relationship traveling every other month from Manila to Maine.

When you arranged to be with him last June for his colonoscopy that was extremely loving of you, to arrange it and then spend the preparation day with him.

You call yourself petty and bratty but I don’t see justification for you using these adjectives to describe yourself. There is nothing petty or bratty of you traveling from Manila to be with him for his colonoscopy in Maine!

You wrote “He told me once that he has never “given his heart to anyone ” and that I may be that first person he’ll love” He is 65 and he told you that he never gave his heart to anyone. This means he is not a loving man.

You wrote that he is distant and cold. This means he is … not a loving man.

For some reason you felt calm in his presence, maybe because he doesn’t get angry (or loving) and is reliable that way, no arguing on his part- you see it as strength.

Point it, you repeatedly noticed he is distant and inattentive to you. I sure hope you can have a relationship with a man who will not cheat on you like your ex boyfriends AND who will be loving and attentive to you. This one- … why reconcile? No love there as I see it.

Wish you know a loving relationship with a loving man. Sorry you are experiencing pain over this one. I don’t think he is worth your pain and longing…

anita