Dear Anita:

Thank you for your kind thoughts and words.

The world would indeed be a far different place—a better place—if there were more sustained empathy in it.

Although the movie A Beautiful Mind faux pas-ed in its portrayal of the Nash Equilibrium, as well as its portrayal of Adam Smith’s theory, I am inclined to agree with the idea that the best result comes from everyone in the group (families, friends, neighborhoods, cities, states, countries, and humanity on the whole)—and each group, as well—doing not only what is best for him/her/itself, but also what is good for the whole group/collection of groups/humanity.

I suggest that through the mutual application of empathy between two or more people, a group is mentally and socially formed, and from there the idea above applies from the micro to the macro. The keyword, however, is “mutual.” Empathy, as you rightly implied, shouldn’t only be one-sided.

That’s also not to say that empathy is the only thing needed for a world of happy human interaction, but it is a danged good start.

In point of fact, I was not looking for a girlfriend when I met her, nor am I now. I am well at ease with not being in a relationship. (In her case, I am particularly well at ease with not being in a parasitic relationship!) I would, however, be very happy to have someone in my life, with whom I am mutually compatible, who is like the person you describe.

My relationship with her was a learning experience, as are all relationships. Although I have realistically known this all along, through my experiences with her, the idealist part of me was a bit saddened to be made fully aware that, in the end, compassion is a risk to the person extending the compassion, and perhaps to the person being shown compassion—if the compassion unwittingly enables a negative behavior, for example. On the other hand, for everyone to withhold compassion from each other would constitute a risk to “the group” as well.

And then there would be far too many frowny faces in the world. 🙁 🙁 🙁 🙁 🙁 🙁 🙁 🙁 🙁 🙁 🙁 🙁 🙁 🙁 🙁 🙁 🙁 🙁 🙁 🙁 🙁 🙁 🙁 🙁 🙁 🙁 🙁 🙁 🙁 🙁 🙁 🙁 🙁 🙁 🙁 🙁 🙁 🙁 🙁 🙁 🙁 🙁 🙁 🙁 🙁 🙁 🙁 🙁 🙁 🙁 🙁 🙁 🙁 🙁 🙁 🙁 🙁 🙁 🙁 🙁 🙁 🙁 🙁 🙁

Danged if we do; danged if we don’t.

CMI 🙂