Dear cjf2190:

You wrote that you had therapy in the past. I think you didn’t have enough therapy, especially if in the therapy you had you didn’t examine the problems in your original family adequately.

Your craving now with your boyfriend is the same craving you had as a child, isn’t it? Isn’t it the fear of being alone, unloved, uncared for that you still fear day in and day out and crave for him to calm your fear?

If so, that original fear, of you as a child, that needs to be examined, understood and soothed in the context of psychotherapy with a competent, empathetic therapist in addition to your relationship. It would also be a good idea, I believe, if after some therapy, you introduce your boyfriend to the therapist so to work on the relationship, on a workable balance between together and alone.

anita