Dear psc1227:

I re-read most of your original post. No wonder you feel “guilty and insecure” – the guy is manipulative: he punishes, that is what he does, or did. If he doesn’t like something you express, he withdraws, from a silent treatment to breaking up. Basically, it is His Way or the Highway. He doesn’t like something- you are left on the Highway while he drives on.

When he calms down, he drives back, picks you up from the highway, apologizes then drops you off again. So you feel “guilty and insecure”- understandably- if you say the wrong thing, if you look impatient, if you are not behaving 100% according to a manual (that doesn’t exist)- then he will drop you. Better be careful, better watch out.

This is no way to be in a relationship unless you are planning on getting sick.

You wrote in your original post: ” he said he didn’t have feelings for her and they were just friends who would hang out once every few months, and that he had used her name only in retaliation against me during our past breakup”- it caught my eye the first time and I asked myself: why did he want to retaliate against you at that time, bringing up her name?

Can you tell me why, what was his anger at you about, motivating him at the time to cause you harm?

anita