Home→Forums→Relationships→It may actually be me causing most of my relationship issues?→Reply To: It may actually be me causing most of my relationship issues?
Anita, Jeena, and Call Me Ishmael: Thank you all for your input.
Anita: I feel I may be nit-picking, but I don’t know that I’ve been confrontational (I have more of a reserved and shy demeanor and try to be mindful of how I say things)… but still, that doesn’t mean there aren’t areas of communication I can improve upon (which I hope I’m headed in the right direction and doing).
Jeena: I have not talked to him about this. I’m honestly nervous to talk to him about how I’m feeling because to be honest I don’t feel he’s that emotionally invested in me or our new relationship. I fear a true “sit down talk” (even a pleasant one), would be a turn-off at this point and possibly push him away. But, if someone is uncomfortable in a relationship they should be able to talk to their significant other about what they’re experiencing.
Call Me Ishmael: I liked your suggestion to take initiative and do things like excitedly say goodnight and give him a kiss (it’s sort of like positive reinforcement). That way I’m not being passive. I think that may also be something I need to be mindful of, how passive I’m coming across (like in the example, not acknowledging the potato wedges thing).
Update: So it’s mid-afternoon Tuesday here and I haven’t heard from him since Sunday. Yesterday I went to a doctor’s appointment and then made a pit-stop at my favorite ice cream place. He hasn’t been to this place before so I sent him a snap chat picture of the ice cream (they have some unique flavors and toppings) and mentioned I stopped there after my doctor’s appointment and stated it was one of my favorite places to go to.
He opened the snap chat message, but didn’t respond. I’ll admit I feel emotionally deflated right now. I spent a few days riding a high, happy feeling of him asking if he could call me his girlfriend and introducing me to his parents… and now something feels very wrong and he has withdrawn.
Nothing significant has happened in between this past Friday (when he asked me to be his girlfriend and meet his parents) and today. We haven’t had any arguments, heated discussions, or disagreements. I wish I could get excited about having a boyfriend and freely text him, joke with him, hear about his day, etc… But when I saw he opened my snap picture and message and chose not to respond… I backed off figuring he wanted space from me. It kind of reminds me of the quote, “Silence isn’t empty, it’s full of answers.” If a guy is really interested in you… I believe he’ll make it clear.