Midnight, I feel the same way too, as you commented on my post. We are struggling the same way, I try to stay positive and give a lot of love towards him, it feels good for some time, until those thoughts kick in again and I feel overwhelmed and guilty.

My partner is looking to take the relationship to the next level, If I can’t figure things out with myself, I am considering letting him go, I can’t keep feeling this paranoia while he is confident with his feelings towards me, me on the other hand I am not due to my ongoing loop of doubtful feelings and thoughts. It is going to be heartbreaking but I don’t know what else to do.

Hopefully I will look up a therapist and see what is wrong with me. Maybe even, I think I love him but deep inside I don’t and I seem to avoid confronting my true feelings.

About your parents, I have the same thing, my parents do have a strong relationship but my dad has not been very supportive and loving to my mother. It kind of reminds me of my relationship with my boyfriend, I am not loving enough..

Sorry for bashing my thoughts on this!