Dear Laure:

I read a good part of your previous threads (this evening, sooner than I intended): you are about 21. You love nature and envision yourself being happy living alone in the woods. You like being alone but you also want a romantic relationship soon. You believe there is something faulty in your ability to connect with people. You described The Lonely, a wall that surrounds you, a wall you are afraid will always be there.

You were bullied in school and your mother tried to help you but failed and so you were bullied for a long time. According to you, your parents were good enough.

I wrote to you at one point that you communicated well with me on a thread. Your response was that you have a difficulty communicating with people in person.You suggested again and again that your difficulty connecting with people is severe, abnormal.

I am at a loss at this point because I don’t know how it looks like, you not communicating well, not connecting with people in person. Let’s say there is a young man (since you are interested in having a romantic relationship this coming year, I am suggesting a young man in my imagined scenario) in a coffee house, a first date, just getting to know each other on a casual coffee date on a Saturday afternoon.

What is happening? As you sit across him, are you smiling? Looking in his eyes or away? Are you speechless, fidgeting..? Are you able to focus and hear what he says? Able or interested in asking him questions? Able to answer his questions?

anita